Thursday, May 31, 2007

VOTE HOOK


TONY FAULKNER of the PORTLAND, OREGON DAWKINS-FAULKNERS reports from that fine city of bridges and neo-burlesque...

THE EMERGENCE OF AN INTRIGUING PUBLIC FIGURE

OVER TO TONY:

"Being as how you have a vested interest in such people holding public office, I'm pleased to introduce Steve Novick (if I'm the first Oregonian to share)."

NOVICK, according to his perfectly named website, he is a progressive with "a hard left hook."

AT THE TENDER AGE OF 14 was he sent loose upon the hard streets of Oregon after the closing of his Junior High School due to budget cuts...

(AS YOU MAY KNOW, Oregon regularly ranks very highly in US News & World Report's annual MOST DICKENSIAN STATE list)

...BUT RATHER THAN TURN TO A LIFE OF HOOK-HANDED PICKPOCKETING, he instead enrolled IN HARVARD LAW SCHOOL AT THE AGE OF 18, later acting as lead counsel in the Love Canal case.

AND WHAT'S MORE
, he is the only candidate for Senate who begins his official bio with a trivia question--so you know he has my vote.

(NOTE: I CANNOT VOTE IN OREGON)

SHOULD STEVE NOVICK PREVAIL and become a US Senator, he would, under obscure Oregonian law, be but A HOOK-HAND FROM THE PRESIDENCY.

NO MATTER YOUR AFFILIATION AND POLITICAL BELIEFS, I trust you will watch his candidacy with interest.

THAT IS ALL.

Photo courtesy www.votehook.com

10 comments:

bec_87rb said...

This, dear sir, begs the question:

Why does Oregon disallow you as a voter?

Glenn said...

Between the trips to Powells, the Moonbase visit, the Bruce Campbell affiliation, and the Coraline work, I think it's high time to establish a Hodgman residence in Oregon.

We have our fair share of eccentric billionaires, you'd be welcome.

(I like how one of the main navigation buttons is "About Gordon Smith", and pretty much say, "Yeah, I'll take him down.")

bec_87rb said...

glenn said ...
I think it's high time to establish a Hodgman residence in Oregon.


Aren't Experts at Large considered citizens of the world, and, Oregon being this year in the world, citizens of Oregon?

Perhaps he could test-vote in Oregon and see if it takes?

Mr. Austin said...

And thus the prophecy is fulfilled.

Bram Pitoyo said...

Hodgman residence in OR gets my vote for sure! If not for the Powells or the billionaires, at least consider the establishment of Jake's Famous Crawfish (which is a kind of lobster.)

maloney said...

Not to "spamvertise," but those who ARE interested in watching Steve Novick's campaign (from the inside) are welcome to join his FaceBook Group or his MySpace Page.

FaceBook Group: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2234570938

MySpace Profile: http://www.myspace.com/stevenovick

Tony said...

For me this post conjures an image of Smith Staffers poring over the Oregon constitution trying to determine which obscure law John is referring to.

And then filing their research away for a potential campaign "gotcha!" moment.

Brian Moon said...

I completely agree with Mr. Hodgman moving to Portland. As the infamous t-shirt said, "Come for the fishing. Stay for the strip clubs."

And if you need me I'll be down at the Acropolis...

PS: NOVICK FOR SENATE!

Stephanie said...

John, today was International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I thought you'd be interested in the way Steve commemorated the occasion.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/9/19/161641/685

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