Thursday, December 21, 2006

FREEZING FOG

WHEN I OBSERVED THIS OMINOUS PREDICTION in London's weather report this morning, and then it quickly disappeared, I presumed it was an error.

BUT IT IS SO.

MY SYMPATHIES for those grounded by FREEZING FOG in Britain's airports.

BUT THE UPSIDE IS it seems to be transforming the country into a series of illustrations for the covers of paperback fantasy novels.

That is all.

OH, AND OF COURSE: KNITTERERS


hodgman solus.JPG
Originally uploaded by captain joy.
Here's to you.

That is all.

YOU


It is time
Originally uploaded by halcyonsnow.
THIS IS CLEARLY a manipulated image, yet I defer to halcyon's good intentions, as

I AGREE with Time's assessment of person-hood of the year, since indeed I have learned firsthand this year, via hobo artists and podcasters and many more, that the true and exciting engine of culture right now is self-built, funded, and powered by millions of busy hands and mice out there in the previously invisible world.

And so it is...

YOU whom I must thank for this astonishing strange and happy year.

THANK YOU readers, listeners, hoboers, wikiers, flickrers, bloggerers, boingers, casters, tubers, chalkers, and Canadians all, for all the joy and inspiration and brandy you have provided.

I AM VERY GRATEFUL.

PLEASE DON'T FORGET to download the audiobook for free from iTunes in the USA (see below), and meanwhile,

Happy, Merry, and

THAT IS ALL.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

CANADA, AUSTRALIA, GERMANY, UK


IMG_4374
Originally uploaded by rheimbro.
IT IS TRUE, you are all out of luck.

THE AUDIO EDITION OF MY BOOK is available for free only through the iTunes USA store.

THIS IS NOT DONE OUT OF SPITE

(except perhaps in the case of Canada)

BUT BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN SOVEREIGN NATIONS, some of which currently offer no legal edition of my book to begin with--IN ANY FORMAT.

(including MICROFICHE)

and ONE OF WHICH (Canada) persists in having its own laws, economy, and publishing territories despite OUR OBVIOUS KINSHIP AND MUTUAL LOVE OF FRIES WITH GRAVY

I'm sorry if you feel vexed or disappointed.

I can offer you at least this: a recorded interview from BOOK SOUP (10/9/06) that I just rediscovered on-line. Tune in HERE AND AROUND THE WORLD as Leila asks some very provocative questions about my early schooling and the odor of my fellow students.

That is all.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

CATEGORY: SELF DEVELOPMENT


I HAVE BEEN ALERTED VIA OVERSEAS E-MAIL THIS MORNING that

the AUDIO EDITION of my book of COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE

is now available for ZERO DOLLARS via iTunes for A LIMITED TIME

IF YOU HAVE NOT HEARD THIS IMPORTANT 1,000 CD SET, which includes...

contributions by JONATHAN COULTON, MS. ROBIN GOLDWASSER, and A MYSTERIOUS CELEBRITY OF STAGE AND SCREEN,

THEN WHY NOT DOWNLOAD IT NOW FOR NOTHING?

Logic demands that you comply.

That is all.

REMINDER: BORELLI


borelli.jpg
Originally uploaded by herman melville.
Is at Comix tonight.

That is all.

Monday, December 18, 2006

ANOTHER HOBO FILM FROM APE-LAD


h in movie rays
Originally uploaded by Ape Lad.
This one apparently stars Jonathan Coulton.

That is all.

Friday, December 15, 2006

1618


JoCo at Johnny D's
Originally uploaded by jcoulton.
FIRST, please do not forget about old COULTON TONIGHT at Mo Pitkin's with Paul and Storm.

SECOND, I am told that Patrick Borelli will be joining the stage as part of Catie Lazarus's FRESH MEAT next Tuesday (Dec 19). I have yet to see Catie's show, but I have been to Comix and I can tell you this: it is very new and shiny and clean. It is like seeing comedy on a HOLODECK!

TRIVIA FACT: Patrick Borelli likes tuna salad sandwiches for lunch, ESPECIALLY IF HE DOESN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR THEM.

ONE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED EIGHTEENTH, the PO informs me that my account for the PO BOX ADDRESS listed in my book has expired. I am going to renew it tomorrow, but I am sorry if anyone had their mail returned.

For the doubters, IT WAS ALWAYS A LEGITIMATE ADDRESS, and it will be again, unless you are sending poison.

That is all.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

JoCo at Johnny D's


JoCo at Johnny D's
Originally uploaded by jcoulton.
APPARENTLY he destroyed all monsters last night in Somerville, where a sub shop graces every hill.

That is all.

ATTENTION PUBLIC RADIO PROGRAMMERS

IS IT TOO LATE to license "The Sound of Young America Holiday Special" for your stations?

I SAY: NO!

MEANWHILE, in the world of commercial radio, Andy has made my appearance on WGN's Nick Digilio show available here.

That is all.

Monday, December 11, 2006

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER AGAIN HAVE TO FACE POKEMON-INDUCED BRAIN EXPLOSION....


PokemonBattleFrontier.jpg
Originally uploaded by HoboGirl1.
COMES THIS, courtesy HoboGirl1.

MEANWHILE, please listen to THE UNTITLED THORN/MORRIS PROJECT for hasty, blindfolded judgments and the eventual return of HANG IT UP/KEEP IT UP.

SUBSCRIBE IMMEDIATELY.

That is all.

Friday, December 08, 2006

TARAVAL STREET NEAR 23RD AVE

MERLIN uploaded this one--is it carved in wet cement?

IF YOU GO TO HIS SITE, 43Folders you will see a heartbreaking, hopeful post from a brief time when the fate of James Kim was still uncertain. I did not know Kim, but I am realizing I know, at least obliquely, many who did. I find his and his family's story almost unbearably sad, and now doubly so, so I will leave it at that.

TONIGHT is Laura Cantrell at Mo Pitkin's. I will not be there, but you should go if you can. Wear a scarf.

That is all.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

H IN SIDEWAYS


H in Sideways
Originally uploaded by Ape Lad.
If you did not catch it in the coments, APE LAD JUST EXPLODED MY BRAIN, both with his Keaton-knowlegde, and with his bizarre cinematic find.

Herewith his comment:

"While I can't confirm the authenticity of the good captain's find (although I suspect it is real), I came across something interesting. I had recently seen that very episode of Arrested Development as well as Steamboat Bill, Jr, the source of the original stunt to which the homage is being paid.

"While I appreciated the allusion (even down to the characters names: Buster Keaton/Buster Bluth. It's like they wrote the whole show just to make that clever reference), something was left unsettled in the back of my mind.

"Upon a repeated viewing of SB,Jr, I realized what it was: Buster Keaton performs the stunt with his back to the falling facade. It may seem subtle, but that is the difference between Keaton and Tony Hale and anyone else who seeks to emulate him. In my opinion anyway.

"Also, I stumbled upon this incredibly shocking (sorry) frame of film. Although it is obviously manipulated, it was not done by me. This can be attested to by downloading (free and legal) and viewing Steamboat Bill, Jr from here and paying close attention to 1:02:03."

END QUOTE

COMMENCE BRAIN EXPLOSION

That is all.

UN-MANIPULATED


not digitally manipulated.jpg
Originally uploaded by captain joy.
CAPTAIN JOY CLAIMS that this image has not been digitally manipulated.

I REMAIN SKEPTICAL, because I know that even in color films, Buster Keaton was in black and white.

BUT I CHOOSE TO TRUST JOY, as I am a fool.

That is all.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

MOVIE PLACE


h in sunrays
Originally uploaded by Ape Lad.
I AM beyond saddened by this news.

THE MOVIE PLACE has been the center of my neighborhood for the nearly 10 years I lived here.

IT WAS ARGUABLY the reason I moved into my first apartment on 105th Street.

OK: I WILL CEASE TO ARGUE--it was THE reason.

(IT CERTAINLY WAS NOT the apartment itself, which was shaped like a noose and yet felt somehow tighter and more choking).

AMONG THEIR MANY ADMIRABLE, STRANGE, AND NOBLE QUALITIES, including incredible taste, decency, and delivery, I should note that...

UNTIL THE LAST 35 SECONDS OR SO, they didn't even use computers.

JUST INDEX CARDS!

AS A FORMER video store employee, I know especially: THAT TAKES SOME BRASSY, BEAUTIFUL NERVE!

NOW THEY ARE DONE. The last neighborhood servicey store to exist in that building (a printing and copy store) was recently replaced with a store that sells edible bouquets made of fruit.

(Not to run down anyone's dream, but this store seems as doomed as the old PUDDING IT FIRST, a Brookline specialty store that really did exist, minus the mad poetry of being devoted TO PUDDING).

I SUSPECT the next tenant to occupy the former MOVIE PLACE will be similarly, pointlessly "upscale," unneeded, and ridiculous.

THERE IS NOTHING TO DO, it would see, but mourn and blog. It makes me feel very sad and very powerless. And I also think I owe them about 40 dollars or so in late fees which I intend to repay, somehow.

THAT IS ALL.

(cinematic hobology courtesy APE LAD).

Monday, December 04, 2006

COULTON RADIO

Coulton will be on Soundcheck, WNYC's fine talk show about music, today at 2PM Eastern.

LISTEN

That is all.

Friday, December 01, 2006

FATE'S BIRTHDAY GIFT TO COULTON

A CONTAINER OF DORITOS WASHES ASHORE

COURTESY: Dethroner, HalcyonSnow.

That is all.

LITTLE BROTHERS

TONIGHT, in Columbus, Jonathan Coulton's tour takes him to the stage at "Little Brothers."

I HOPE everyone that I met during my recent visit to Columbus will take advantage of this rare opportunity.

THIS MEANS YOU skinny guy who followed us across the street,

AND YOU, OSU STUDENT whose cell phone I helped reprogrammed so John Oliver could leave your new outgoing message,

AND YOU, LEE K. ABBOTT.

You will enjoy this show NOT LEAST because it is Coulton's birthday.

Thank you, APE-LAD

That is all.