"...and so much other stuff that it is not even f#@king funny"

IT IS NOT MY HABIT to simply reproduce here, for your consumption, E-MAILS THAT I HAVE RECEIVED.

HOWEVER, I feel it is now time to give YOUR MAN DAVE HILL his due.

I ONCE WENT TO THIS PROGRAM and saw Dick Cavett there AND Rufus WAINWRIGHT.

NO JOKE.

AS WELL, I have appeared on the program as "a guest" and I can vouch for Dave's COURTESY, PROFESSIONALISM, SUPER-GENIUS, and GOOD TASTE IN BEEF JERKY.

BUT MORE THAN THIS, all humans must enjoy and appreciate the extraordinary, unique carny-barker/mental patient patois that Dave Hill has developed over the course of MANY E-MAILS, which for some reason, to my mind, reaches its APOTHEOSIS in the following missive.

Read on....

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The Dave Hill Explosion/Thurs. Nov. 15/9:30pm/UCB Theatre (307 West 26th St. at 8th Ave.)/$5/With extra special guest Lady Bunny and maybe someone else in addition to her who is also really great

Attention People of New York City:

This is your man Dave Hill writing to let you know that on Thursday, November 15 at 9:30pm, I am going to be walking out on stage at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in historic Chelsea and giving what critics are already calling the performance of a lifetime and I am already calling the Dave Hill Explosion. Imagine if you combined the glitz of Elvis' '68 Comeback Special with the glamour and winning attitude of Diana Ross' legendary 1983 concert in Central Park and then took both of those things and mixed them with the '70's prison documentary "Scared Straight," a pack of matches, an ordinary can of hair spray, and anything that has ever happened at the Hayden Planetarium ever and you are starting to get the picture. In short, it is going to be just slightly better than "Stomp." Adding to the mayhem is the fact that I will have the legendary Lady Bunny (whom you know from the Comedy Central roast of Pamela Anderson, Wigstock, and so much other stuff that it is not even f#@king funny) on my show next week and possibly even another incredible guest besides her. And, of course, my trusty sidebitch Phil will be there to make sure the level of professionalism people have come come to expect for five dollars is retained throughout the performance. If you see just one show next week, please consider seeing a second and then totally coming to see my show. Ha! See how I did that? That is just one example of the kind of top-notch entertainment I will be breaking out next week without even trying. Honestly, even I don't know how I do it sometimes. And to think I have access to this sh*t 24 hours a day. It's a wonder I even manage to leave the house sometimes. Anyway, I really hope you can make it next week. I have a rare heart condition* and it would really mean a lot to me. You can totally get tickets right here.

Your man,
Dave Hill
www.davehillonline.com
*I love too much. Also, I have a baboon heart. But you knew that.

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That is all.