Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Some quick answers from the comments section

Randal Cooper said...

Will you also be answering age-old questions (five is an age, I think) about the death of the courtroom thriller?

Jh: Yes. I will be answering age-old questions. The first one I answer is below.



4:54 PM
Shrubs said...
Dear Mr. Hodgman,

I have recently decided that I may or may not take into consideration the possible career choice of unemployment. During this career, I may also choose to become homeless. During that time, I will host sock puppet shows, and take tips from people who pass by, so I can afford larger paper bags and socks for my shows.

I have everything planned out, but I do need one thing... A stage name.

Do you have any suggestions?

Jh: If you are trying to get me to say that my next book will contain 700 Homeless Sock Puppeteer Names, then you are foiled again, "Shrubs." I will never say it, because it is not true. My next book will feature 700 Mole Man Names.


5:51 PM
Annje said...

I'd like to know the answer to the age old question "If love is blind, deaf, mute, insane, stupid, and lame. What does it look like?" I'd like to know so I can turn and run the other way.
6:29 PM

Jh: At last, an age-old question. If you have ever seen the movie "Audition" by Takashi Miike, then you will know what I mean when I say that love is rolling around grunting in burlap sack in your apartment. And actually, it turns out I can't go out tonight after all.

If you have not seen the movie "Audition," don't now go out and watch it and then blame me after. It is a good movie, but it is no "Sound of Music." Let's just say that the grunting burlap sack quotient is very very high.

12 comments:

Glenn Peters said...

Scariest burlap sack ever. Deserves an entry next to the fridge from Requiem for a Dream. And still not the most disturbing thing about that movie.

Gluehead said...

I watched 'Audition' because someone told me it was a documentary about Nick Nolte auditioning for a movie, but it was slightly more disturbing than a drunken Nick Nolte yelling at producers. Slightly.

hodg-man said...

I thought it was Nick Nolte playing "the man in the burlap sack," no?

Annje said...

I know this film and I have to say it is more disturbing than the toilet scene from "Trainspotting". But not as disturbing as a woman making outfits out of really bad curtains (outfit ala Sound of Music). Question: Can we put Nick Nolte in a burlap sack??? Just curious.

joebob said...

Well all this talk of movies and such got me thinking about the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon. Mr. Hodgman, did you know you have a Bacon number of 3? You were on the Daily Show with Stephen Colbert , Stephen Colbert was on Mad TV with Dennis Leary, and Dennis Leary was in Elvis Lives with Mr. Bacon.
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Erica said...

It's hard for me to imagine something more disturbing than the toilet scene from Trainspotting, but since I haven't seen Audition, I'll just take eveyone's word for it.

Gluehead said...

Rumour has it that the producers sent a script of 'Audition' to Nick in hopes he'd take the part, but they recieved the script back and it was covered in alcohol and a handwritten note on the front said 'WORSE THAN PRINCE OF TIDES!' with a bunch of cursing written throughout the entire screenplay and a crude picture of a naked lady riding a serpent on the back.

bec_87rb said...

Oh. What about the age old question, "How do I check my spouse to see if he/she has been replaced by an alien pod creature?"

I mean, I know what the movies tell us about this, but if Mr. Hodgman has the actual real-life answers, we need those urgently.

Also, has he personally tested this technique on Mrs. Hodgman?

Thanks,
Looking Under the Bed for Pods

juniper pearl said...

mr. nolte tells everyone now that he rejected the part, but the truth is, the rolling-burlap-sack character is in fact based on him, in, of course, one of his less proud moments. his combination of embarassment over the mockery and bitterness about not having been asked to play, essentially, himself, has led to the out-and-out denial of interest in the role that he sticks with now. but don't be fooled; every time someone mentions audition, it's like a foot-long acupuncture needle in the very sensitive skin just below his eye.

mojowrimo said...

I believe the outfit made out of really bad curtains was from Gone With The Wind, but then again I'm the type of person to get petty pleasure from correcting people on the internet. And rhen feel bad about it immediately.

Jeff_Mills said...

She calls Balki Bartakamous, "Poopahlah". I never knew why...

DELMARQUIS said...
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