Saturday, August 18, 2007

THE BOSTON RED SOX

AFTER DISCUSSING IT WITH INTERNET GURU "COULTON," I have decided this is the best way to do this.

AS YOU KNOW, I DISLIKE SPORTS; however, certain members of my family who are too young to know better have started professing a like for the YANKEES BASEBALLERS.

I HAVE TRIED REPEATEDLY to explain why this is an error.

NOW I AM BRIEFLY IN MY HOMETOWN OF BROOKLINE, MA, and my only
hope for reeducating the youth of today is via DIRECT FENWAY PARK IMMERSION, which is to say:

I REQUIRE THREE TICKETS TO THE HOMETOWN BALL GAME TOMORROW (SUNDAY), the 2:05PM game against the LOS ANGELES ANGELICS.

I AM WILLING TO PAY FACE VALUE for these tickets. I will meet the current owner of these tickets at BROOKLINE BOOKSMITH where I will pay in cash or check, and I will also buy that person a copy of my book (IF IT IS AVAILABLE) and sign it IN INK.

SUCH IS THE TRANSACTION I PROPOSE. You know how to reach me. I regret to have drawn you all into this family vendetta.

THAT IS ALL.

5 comments:

Adriane said...

It may be too late, but www.stubhub.com is a place where you can purchase tickets which people no longer want. I wish you luck, and hope that a day of baseball viewing will not be too torturous.

Babbington said...

I wish you well on your baseball journey. I hear the "peanuts" and "cracker jack" are quite delectable.

good luck.

Shelley said...

I agree that sports suck.

But, might I ask why you must "reeducat[e] the youth of today [...] via DIRECT FENWAY PARK IMMERSION"?

That is my only question.

Samuel S. Hunter said...

This is perhaps a little late, but I was in England for 4 weeks and I felt you had to know.

I was watching Flight of the Conchords on HBO on Demand and your appearance on the show made me smile like a 5 year old at an FAO Schwartz, or the Toys R Us in Times Square.

And I figured you would like to know that you brightened my day simply by being around.

Until the next bright day,

Sam Hunter, Age 8

Elizabeth Goldberg said...

A child of Massachusettsian descent living amongst we strange New Yorkers should perhaps be introduced to the New York Mets, a team on the side of Good, lest he or she be taunted by his school chums for supporting a team from another state.