AFTER DISCUSSING IT WITH INTERNET GURU "COULTON," I have decided this is the best way to do this.
AS YOU KNOW, I DISLIKE SPORTS; however, certain members of my family who are too young to know better have started professing a like for the YANKEES BASEBALLERS.
I HAVE TRIED REPEATEDLY to explain why this is an error.
NOW I AM BRIEFLY IN MY HOMETOWN OF BROOKLINE, MA, and my only
hope for reeducating the youth of today is via DIRECT FENWAY PARK IMMERSION, which is to say:
I REQUIRE THREE TICKETS TO THE HOMETOWN BALL GAME TOMORROW (SUNDAY), the 2:05PM game against the LOS ANGELES ANGELICS.
I AM WILLING TO PAY FACE VALUE for these tickets. I will meet the current owner of these tickets at BROOKLINE BOOKSMITH where I will pay in cash or check, and I will also buy that person a copy of my book (IF IT IS AVAILABLE) and sign it IN INK.
SUCH IS THE TRANSACTION I PROPOSE. You know how to reach me. I regret to have drawn you all into this family vendetta.
THAT IS ALL.