Friday, September 28, 2007

ROUND THE JUNGLE FIRE

updated to be much smaller and less shouty

also: for the record, i like neal pollack. i think his writing is funny and humane, and he is clearly the butt of all of his jokes. i never got why some people like to beat up on him so, and i really don't understand why they like to beat up on his four year old son--and not just beat up on him, but to do so in electro-print, where it will haunt all of us forever. but i guess that is their sad right. if you have no idea what i'm talking about, all the better.

now here again is the original posting about choo choos and those who adore them, but in tiny tiny letters.


ACTUAL PERSON Ryan Wilson writes in via electrono-mailograph with the following bulletin regarding WHAT IS HAPPENING IN RIVERHEAD, LONG ISLAND:

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT

"I know this is short notice and you probably won't read this electronic mail until after the event has passed. However, I cannot allow this to go unnoticed by you (assuming you do not know about it):

"'The Railroad Museum of Long Island will host our 2nd Annual Twin Forks Folk Music Festival and Hobo Homecoming beginning Thursday evening, September 27 through Saturday evening, September 29, 2007. '"

END QUOTED TEXT

NOW IT IS TRUE THAT, DUE TO MY EXTREMELY LAZY E-MAIL READING HABITS, we have all missed last night's opening festivities (except for those who went to them).

APPARENTLY the chief event of last night involved Hobo King Redbird Express LIGHTING A FIRE.

However, PRESUMING THERE ARE STILL SOME PARTS OF RIVERHEAD NOT CONSUMED BY FIRE, there will be more festivities tonight:

a) "Banjo" Fred Starner hosting "A Folk Music Entertainment";
b) A special appearance by LUTHER THE JET
c) Performances by THE NATIONAL HOBO GOSPEL SINGERS, an organization I would not have predicted IN A MILLION YEARS.

WILL I ATTEND? No. Because I am currently too busy with the Mole-Men.

AND ALSO: I AM AFRAID OF FIRE.

BUT ALL OF THE DETAILS are listed above, and if you go, do take a photo and send it to me via electronic transmisso-gram.

BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TO PUT IT ON THE INTERNET FOR YOU.

That is all.

COURTESY: The Long Island Rail Road Museum for the image of a TRAIN with the words LONG ISLAND on it. See many more HERE.

8 comments:

Jay said...

Why are you yelling at us, Hodg-man? After the quote, the font suddenly increases in size by tenfold. Are you upset at us for not knowing about this hobopalooza? Please, whatever we have done to offend, stop shouting. We promise we'll do better in the future!

(I have problems with Blogger sometimes too.)

Anonymous said...

Big-time media personality does not understand font tags. WORLD REACTS!!

Drhaggis said...

Suggestion for Hodgeman's new hobo name: Captain Capslock

David Achee said...

Mr. Hodgeman, I thought you might take interest in one of the greatest and most often overlooked of all superheroes, the Vagabond.

Annje said...

thanks for the information..I'll have to learn more about Hobopalooza sounds like a blast!

Question..if I were to send you a piece of art I've drawn would I send it to the PO Box at the end of your book? Just curious!!

Thomas Burchfield said...

Also, I figure your terror of hobos, would keep you away, too.

BTW, is it true they are trying to set up their own nation, known as "Hobostan?"

Hugh Lafferty said...

Dear Mr. Hodgman:

I was trying to read your latest posting in that ultra teeny-tiny-weeny font you posted it in and now my eye has become glued to the computer screen. Could you suggest some emollient or treatment with which I could unstick my eye? (No, a spatula doesn't work.) Until then, I have to listen to my wife and children laugh at me, especially when I sit down to dinner.

Thank you for your time.

RedCircleLine said...

you people just can't be pleased.
who are this "mole men" taking up all your time? am i just not a sufficiently-devoted follower of the Hodg-man if i don't already know?