Sunday, December 04, 2005

16 of 20

Good Morning

This is John Hodgman writing the 16th of 20 total electronically transmitted messages regarding

THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE http://www.areasofmyexpertise.com

which last week was apparently the San Francisco Bay Area’s favorite “book” of fake trivia and invented historical oddities, according to the San Francisco Chronicle.

Thank you, BAY AREA.

AND BELATED THANKS also to BAY AREAN Frank Lauria, who not only was our guide and driver when COULTON and I visited that lovely “AREA BY THE BAY,” but also, we would later learn, A PROFESSIONAL WRITER.

He is the author of some half dozen mystery novels featuring Dr. Owen Orient, occult detective, which William S. Burroughs called “the most believable vampire and werewolf stories I have ever read.” SEE HERE

(!)

ACTUAL CONVERSATION WHILE DRIVING:

Jh: “It says here on your book that you were influenced by HP Lovecraft and A. Merritt. Who is A. Merritt?”

Frank: “He is the author of ‘Seven Footprints to Satan’”

Jh: “I see. And it says you yourself studied the occult?”

Frank: “Well, I am actually a fairly sensitive psychic. But I don’t practice that much any more. Because the first thing you pick up on, of course, is the bad parts of people: their failures, their anxieties, their secrets. And this can be very painful.”

Jh: (silence)

COULTON: (silence)

Jh: (anxieties and secrets and silence)

Frank: “Oh, I think I should have made a left turn there.”

END OF DIALOGUE.

THANK YOU, Frank, for your books, for your kindness, and for not exploding my brain with your mind.

NOW HERE IS MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE…

1. Our Journey to the Mid-Atlantic region continues TO DURHAM, North Carolina, ON A LAZY SUNDAY AFTERNOON, DEC 4, we shall visit…

**THE REGULATOR BOOKSHOP
3PM in the afternoon
720 Ninth Street
Durham, NC
(919) 286-2700
FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC
BARBECUE TO BE SOUGHT OUT THEREAFTER

2. THEN, and only THEN: we will drive home to NYC.

3. THEREAFTER, there shall be one more VERY SPECIAL appearance in NYC before a long winter’s nap. WATCH THIS SPACE NUMBER “8” for details.

4. MEANWHILE, and with many thanks: THAT IS ALL

2 comments:

ing said...

Those hobo names are fantastic -- thanks. I wish I had an event/question/podcast or somesuch.

ing said...

p.s. I work at a bookstore in SF. We mostly sell used books, but I'll make sure we have The Areas of my Expertise in stock. I hope they aren't really on backorder (no self-respecting and struggling independent would lie about that), since I guess Amazon has it. Arr!