Pertaining to "MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE," a further compendium of COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE, and its author. That is all.
This is not, of course, the first time an ape has found the letter “H.” In her groundbreaking book Hey, Look! A Chimp!, famed English anthropologist and disco enthusiast Jane Goodall recounts the story of an early encounter with a large pack of monkeys just returned from exploring the deep Gombe jungle. She was startled to see that each chimpanzee was carrying a single letter of the alphabet, roughly carved from the bark of a mangrove tree. Her favorite chimpanzee -- the one she had scientifically named Major Alowishus Longbow Smythe-Giggleswick -- was laboring under the weight of a large lowercase “h” and comically stumbling as he struggled to keep up with the others. It was not until the monkeys had arranged their letters atop a nest of flattened wampa leaves that Ms Goodall understood their purpose, as the letters spelled out: “U gO hOm nOw!” Still, it’s a very nice “H.”__________ Ms Goodall often met with criticism from modern primatologists due to her habit of giving chimpanzees incredibly long and hard-to-remember names, usually with a corresponding military rank. This led to uncounted discrepancies in anthropological circles, culminating in the infamous Goodall-Leakey fistfight of 1972, after Leakey misordered an important morphological hierarchy by incorrectly ranking chimpanzee Adrian Spinster-Tree Washingtub Spencer, III as “Captain.” (Everyone knows, now, that Spencer was in fact a lieutenant colonel.) Microsoft Word, a product I am forced to use given that I do not own a Mac, does not recognize the word “primatologists” and suggests, instead, “grammatologists.” When I Google this word, the search engine helpfully proposes that I might have meant “dermatologists,” but regardless directs me to a Wikipedia article on the Hebrew word “hillul” ("see: Proto-Alphabeto-Grammatologists-Reasoning," but I refuse to go any further). Typing the word hillul, of course, makes the rather anti-Semitic word processing program crash immediately.
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