Monday, July 30, 2007

FURTHER EVIDENCE


h in sunrays
Originally uploaded by Ape Lad.
...THAT THE HOBOES are the new pirates.

Thank you, LAD.

That is all.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

BLOGROLLING IN OUR TIME

SORRY TO BE ABSENT, especially since Jane Espenson wrote such a nice thing the other day.

DESPITE HER RIDICULOUSLY NICE PRAISE, the little apple grace-note to this line is about as fine a joke as anything:

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT

"If you follow this link, you'll be taken to his blog entry which then links back here. Theoretically, you might never get out of the loop, so bring an apple."

END QUOTE TEXT

AND SO THE MOBIUS BLOGSTRIP continues. Awk-ward.

That is all.

Friday, July 20, 2007

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN WEBSITES THAT ACTUALLY FUNCTION

THEN MAY I RECOMMEND Jane Espenson's blog about writing and lunching?

YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE SOME KIND OF CRAZY PERSON not to read, enjoy, and profit from her good advice.

I HAPPEN TO BE AN ESPECIAL FAN of her recent post on the subject of punchline abuse:

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT

"I have it on good authority that no fewer than three of the new pilots for Fall series use "That went well" as a punchline. Nooooo! Have I accomplished nothing?!

I also hereby call clam on these mollusks:

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

And

(sing-song) "Awkward!"

And

"I said, 'good day, Sir!'"

Really, people, even in real life, don't use these! They're past their expiration date and they will make you ill. An excellent rule of thumb is "if you've read it, don't write it; if you've heard it, don't say it." Adapt it, sure. Or make fun of it if you want -- use it ironically. But don't expect a genuine laugh.

END QUOTED TEXT

But do read ON.

That is all.

www.areasofmyexpertise.com

I AM NOT SURE why the main website is failing, but I am

LOOKING INTO IT.

That is all.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS THING CALLED THE "YOU-TUBE"

APPARENTLY it is a video service devoted to AMAZING NATIONAL TREASURES.

This one is named GREG PATTILLO.

The DOUBLE-GUITAR SAVANT from the earlier post is named ZACK KIM.

That is all.

DOUBLE BOING BOING

I HATE TO POACH from Boing Boing twice in a day.

BUT I AM TELLING YOU this is the most beautiful thing I've seen since The Earons first debuted their smash Braxtonian hit "Land of Hunger."

THAT IS ALL

ENIGMA-UPDATED LINK

WE TAKE A BRIEF PAUSE our previous enigma to bring you...

AN ACTUAL ENIGMA

Courtesy: BOINGBOING.

(Sorry for the bad link before).

NOW BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED EARON MINDFREAK.

That is all.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

THE EARONS ARE NOT THE RESIDENTS


THIS I KNOW for sure.

BUT FRIZELLE is correct: I am losing my mind.

MEANWHILE: an Earon progress report from the comments.

THE ACRONYMED T.A.M.S.Y. turns up an extremely plausible theory re: the true, non-numerical identity of several of the Earons...

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT:

The good news is that the all-seeing eye of the Google has indeed unmasked the true identity of the Earons, although it took a bit of squinting. The band appears to have been based in New York — or anyway, three of its presumed members previously played with bands based there (Melvin Lee, Kevin Nance and Alonzo "Lonnie" Ferguson comprised 60% of the disco-funk band Machine; Nance also played with the eccentrically punctuated B.B.&Q. Band, a.k.a. the Brooklyn, Bronx and Queens Band). The other two members of the band appear to have been Henry Pizzicarola, who has mysteriously vanished, and Percival Prince, who is a British airplane.

END QUOTED TEXT

THIS IS A PROMISING LEAD, yet even unmasked, these Earons remain mysterious. Where are Lee, Nance, and "Lonnie," now, and what are they wearing for head protection these days?

AND HOW DID HENRY PIZZICAROLA DISAPPEAR?

Several others, including JESSE, pointed out the allmusic.com/wikipedia standard text...

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT

"A band whose gimmick proved more intriguing than most of their music, the Earons were a funk variation on Sun Ra's cosmic mythology approach, with a little bit of Anthony Braxton's mathematical obsession added. They claimed to come from "Earon Earth," and all the members were known only by numbers. They did have one outstanding single, the hard-hitting and musically arresting "Land of Hunger" in 1984. It deserved a better fate in R&B circles than its ultimate stalling out at number 36. Still, this was the only one of three Earons singles that even made it beyond number 50, and they soon disappeared, probably returning to "Earon Earth."

END QUOTED TEXT

BUT LISTEN, I was a freeform DJ at WMFO in Medford, MA. I know me some Sun Ra and I know me some Anthony Braxton.

APART FROM GENERAL, BEAUTIFUL NUT-JOBBERY, what is it exactly about masked men in white jumpsuits saving blonde white people from moving tiny levers in an abandoned oil derrick that suggests the work of Anthony Braxton?

OR DOES THE AUTHOR OF THIS CITATION KNOW MORE than he/she is letting on? Does he/she have access to primary sources other than this video? And who is the author anyway.

DOES HE OR SHE HAVE A NAME? Or a number.

The internet awaits the answers.

As do I.

That is all.

Monday, July 16, 2007

KIND OF MAKES YOU WONDER ABOUT THIS PLACE

THIS WEEK I will be commenting exclusively on this video.

IT IS CALLED "Land of Hunger" and it by the EARONS.

YOUR EYES ARE CORRECT: the members of this band are wearing matching white jumpsuits and matching white full-faced motorcycle helmets.

As if that is not enough, THEY ARE ONLY IDENTIFIED BY NUMBER.

VERDICT: THE BEST.

If the Internet was designed to remember only one thing, HOW COULD IT NOT BE THIS BAND?

AND YET: literally for years, I could find no information on them, nor even confirmation that they existed.

I HAD, YOU SEE, forgotten their name (hint: it's "The Earons.")

AND ALL GOOGLE SEARCHES for "white jumpsuits white motorcycle helmets" proved fruitless.

AFTER ALMOST A DECADE (yes: true), I had to conclude either...

a) I had hallucinated the whole thing;

or b) this band was the one bit of cultural ephemera to have escaped the internet.

FOR as anonymous singers wearing face-obscuring headgear are wont to do, THEY SEEMED TO HAVE DISAPPEARED.

Until this past weekend.

Thanks to the aid of two friends with better memories than me, THIS VIDEO CAME TO LIGHT, and I am very grateful.

YET THE VIDEO IS INCOMPLETE, and still many mysteries remain...

WHO WERE THEY?

WHY DID THEY DO THIS? WITH THE HELMETS AND THE JUMPSUITS?

WHY IS THE APOCALYPTIC FUTURE POPULATED BY PEOPLE DRESSED LIKE OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN, AND WHY DO THE EARONS NEED TO CHANGE INTO MATCHING WHITE TURBANS TO SAVE THEM?

AGAIN: WHY?

If you or anyone you know has further information on this band or this song, I URGE YOU TO PLEASE POST IT IMMEDIATELY IN THE COMMENTS.

WE WILL SOLVE THIS MYSTERY TOGETHER.

That is all.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

THANK YOU LARPERS


166. Dora the Explorer
Originally uploaded by Ape Lad.
THANK YOU LARPERS for responding to my question of yesterday.

NOW: DO ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH THE CENTRIFIGUAL CASTING OF D&D MINIATURES?

Because that would be awesome.

MEANWHILE: Lad's eerie photo of a DORA THE EXPLORER "ICE" "CREAM" "NOVELTY."

That is all.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

ALL EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS


SinkH.jpg
Originally uploaded by HoboGirl1.
Courtesy: HOBOGIRL

I have a question: do LARP battles ever take place at Ren Faires? Or IS ONE ANATHEMA TO THE OTHER.

Please advise.

THAT IS ALL.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Monday, July 02, 2007

'I BET THIS OX WAS DELICIOUS"


h in sunrays
Originally uploaded by Ape Lad.
COURTESY: lad

Minimal internet this week, but I SHALL TRY.

That is all.