Tuesday, July 08, 2008

THE INTERNET IS NOT A BIG TRUCK

DAVID GUION (who wrote and read the "Spy Rock" Lecture on the Little Gray Book Lecture Podcasts exactly 82 years ago today) wrote today regarding

A BURGEONING TRUCK/INTERNET MYSTERY.

AS GUION does not have a blog, and I am currently in the INTERNETLESS HILLS, and thus forced to blog even more poorly than ever,

I PRESENT HIS E-MAIL TO YOU UNEDITED, and without further interruption.

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT

Gentlemen,

"This tanker truck was traveling between Little Rock and Nashville, as were we, on July 2. If you google the relevant phrase you will get nothing but blog entries by people describing how they googled it too and came up dry."

"It is worth noting that liquid is the state between solid and gas."

END QUOTED TEXT.

That is all.

PS: The time for both SECRET SHOWS shall be 8PM.

18 comments:

fancycwabs said...

Ah, SchmaltzCo! Provider of Liquid Chicken Solutions to the Mid-South for over thirty years.

They used to air commericals during the early eighties featuring a middle-aged man in a cowboy hat and overalls named "Ellroy Burgess" doing the "Liquid Chicken," a dance best left to the imagination.

Unknown said...

I'm afraid Liquid Chicken does not sound very palatable, but please point me towards a fine Gas Chicken establishment.

Ari said...

Much as I love a good mystery, I feel I must back the schmaltz (chicken fat) theory--when I google "liquid chicken", the first result concerns liquid chicken fat, which, after all, has to be shipped somehow.

Google also brings up a news piece about a schmaltz-spill on the highway. NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Stepher said...

I suppose there's no point my in Googling the phrase since the mystery seems to be solved. I will add that the product in and of itself sounds exceedingly nauseating and is not something that will ever pass my lips.

JackalFive said...

Question: does David Guion accept fan mail?

If so, I have both praise and a question for him regarding his "Spy Rock" lecture. Please advise.

Also, are "liquid chickens" not just eggs?

-J

Matilda said...

I once found myself driving behind a truck with a bumper that read "Caution! Show Chickens!" This remains a mystery never fully explained. However, "blogging" in an attempt to put the show chickens in the spotlight led to an Iowan friend smugly saying that she had a good story about a chicken. Clearly, she thought that I, a life-long urbanite, would be awed by this. She was in turned awed by the fact that I had no fewer than 3 exciting chicken stories.

Priscilla said...

I think this proves Sen. Stevens' statement. Liquid Chicken is both in a big truck AND on the internet!

Annje said...

I'm just afraid at some point we'll have youngin's huffing chicken gas for a high..Kids running around clucking and running around in circles. I'm still stunned about liquid chicken. Very Weird.

fancycwabs said...

Liquid chicken (liquid chicken)
In the wine (in the wine)
Make me happy (make me happy)
Make me feel fine (make me feel fine)

Lhyzz said...

I would like to point out that the truck reads, "INEDIBLE." What possible uses could one have for liquid chicken fat other than cooking?

fancycwabs said...

You must be looking at a different truck, Lhyzz. The one pictured here has only delicious, edible liquid chicken.

Paula said...

I read that it could be fat from chickens that is added to pet foods to improve taste and nutrition. Delicious!!

Chicken shake???

I have no idea...

Tim said...

Randal : If you click the "googled" link in the original post, the first result has a picture of the truck with the word "INEDIBLE" clearly visible.

Of course, it's possible that they are merely pointing out that the truck itself is inedible. I can only imagine what sort of space-age alloys are necessary to contain the, um... quintessence... that is liquid chicken.

Tim said...

Amendment : Upon further inspection, the other picture does show a different truck. Most of the trucks on the tubes do seem to say "INEDIBLE" though.

fancycwabs said...

They probably just write "INEDIBLE" on it to prevent folks from flocking to it wanting a free sample at truck stops, like the cats do when I make a ham sandwich.

Or perhaps they "INEDIBLE" trucks go to make Victoria's Secret Bath Soap.

brian said...

i find this guy

http://www.adf.com/Liquid_Chicken_Fat.html

Ginger Yellow said...

"They probably just write "INEDIBLE" on it to prevent folks from flocking to it wanting a free sample at truck stops, like the cats do when I make a ham sandwich."

You make ham sandwiches at truck stops? Wouldn't the kitchen be easier?

fancycwabs said...

There are more cats at the truck stop.