Wednesday, April 25, 2007
...OR THUS SPAKE "PUNKIN" in response to my request for how to finally close my MYSPACE account.
OTHER SUGGESTIONS, ranging from the ingenious to the plain wily, INCLUDED:
--BEING MEAN TO TOM (Annje).
A fine idea, but surely there is nothing I can say to TOM that he hasn't already heard a 1000 times more meanly, and in 1337 no less?
--POSTING EXCERPTS OF MY OWN BOOK on my myspace and then complaining about copyright infringement (Chris).
Also very clever, but unfortunately this would not constitute "copyright infringement" but instead would merely cause the universe to collapse upon itself.
--POSTING A DAILY SHOW VIDEO on my myspace page and waiting for Viacom to sue me (hobogirl).
As much as I love a lawsuit, hobogirl's plan has one fatal flaw: judging from youtube, NO SUCH VIDEOS EXIST!
--SPAMMING PEOPLE (meredith).
Sorry. Already taken care of.
--NUDIE PICS (punkin)
While this would certainly handle the problem ably, I really could not bring myself to do this. The worst I think I could do would be to post obscure sexual euphemisms. Such as "handling the roblem ably." RIBALD!
--I SHOULD BECOME SOMEONE ELSE (ct pope).
No good. Frankly, I am barely the person I am.
--EVERYONE ELSE FLAGGING MY PICTURE AS INAPPROPRIATE (cpt joy)
Captain Joy tried this, and myspace offered to report me as a sex offender. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS.
--AND FINALLY, this recipe from gg:
"I turned the background and text the same bright color red (#FF0000), renamed it "FUCK", added 10 blog entries of Misfits lyrics ("I got something to say / I killed your baby today / And it doesn't matter much to me / As long as its dead") and embedded every stolen clip from FOX networks I could find. For a user avatar, I went to 4chan - /b/, of course - and asked nicely for the worst picture that wonderful community could provide."
GG REPORTS that his/her site was removed within an hour.
BEFORE I UNDERTAKE THIS COURSE OF ACTION, HOWEVER, I suppose I will first resort to the measure which is more in tune with my own timid heart:
THE STRONGLY WORDED LETTER.
I shall keep you posted of my progress as I go forward, with the caveat that
a) MY PROGRESS SHALL BE SLOW
b) I DO NOT REALLY CARE ALL THAT MUCH.
Thank you for your help, and
THAT IS ALL