EVEN OBAMA KNOWS WHEN IT'S TIME TO DEPLOY A LAFF

WHEN WILL I LEARN?

“I said, ‘Well, I don’t handle paper that well. You know, my desk is a mess. I need somebody to help me file and stuff all the time.’ So the other two, they say, ‘Well, my biggest weakness is I’m just too passionate about helping poor people. I am just too impatient to bring about change in America.’ If I had gone last I would have known what the game was. I could have said, ‘Well, you know, I like to help old ladies across the street. Sometimes they don’t want to be helped. It’s terrible.’” - Barack Obama, Las Vegas

NOTE: the beautifully curved quotation marks.

CUT AND PASTE COURTESY: Paul Tough. His actual name.

That is all.