THIS COMES IN via The Hater, and I don't know what to say.
IMAGINE ALL THE HERKY-JERK pitchman verbiage of Dan Aykroyd's classic commercial parodies from SNL as filtered through the X-Files, Tony Little, and the Swan Orientation Film, and THREE LAYERS OF HERKIMER DIAMONDS,
THEN ACTUALLY ADD DAN AYKROYD and you get:
CRYSTAL SKULL VODKA
NOT SINCE Dick Van Patten's Hobo Chili for Dogs have I confronted a product so strange and marvelously implausible that I feel robbed somehow of what might have been a beautiful, sublime joke, were it not all so undeniably real.
(AND IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBT about the quality of spirits produced in the province of Newfoundland, may I recommend THE SCREECH?)
That is all.
UPDATE: because they care about me, THE VULTURE POSITS that this may all be part of an oblique, GHOSTBUSTERS III viral campaign. I hope so. It would be one of the most beautiful deadpan jokes of all time, were it so. And worthy of Dan Aykroyd. But on the other hand, he does apparently have a real, non-joke, non-viral, fascination with the paranormal, so who knows?