THIS COMES IN via The Hater, and I don't know what to say.
IMAGINE ALL THE HERKY-JERK pitchman verbiage of Dan Aykroyd's classic commercial parodies from SNL as filtered through the X-Files, Tony Little, and the Swan Orientation Film, and THREE LAYERS OF HERKIMER DIAMONDS,
THEN ACTUALLY ADD DAN AYKROYD and you get:
CRYSTAL SKULL VODKA
NOT SINCE Dick Van Patten's Hobo Chili for Dogs have I confronted a product so strange and marvelously implausible that I feel robbed somehow of what might have been a beautiful, sublime joke, were it not all so undeniably real.
(AND IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBT about the quality of spirits produced in the province of Newfoundland, may I recommend THE SCREECH?)
That is all.
UPDATE: because they care about me, THE VULTURE POSITS that this may all be part of an oblique, GHOSTBUSTERS III viral campaign. I hope so. It would be one of the most beautiful deadpan jokes of all time, were it so. And worthy of Dan Aykroyd. But on the other hand, he does apparently have a real, non-joke, non-viral, fascination with the paranormal, so who knows?
Friday, October 03, 2008
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8 comments:
If I weren't assured by very reliable sources (random commenters on the internet) I would assume this were an elaborate joke. But it seems that it's real. Astonishing.
That the vodka is "quadruple" distilled rang my B.S. detector.
It evoked the Triple-trak disposable razor (not pitched by Dan Aykroyd).
This is truly mindblowing.
As for the quadruple distillation, it is something that happens: Bruichladdich has produced a quadruple-distilled spirit which will (once it reaches the right age) become a Scotch whiskey.
More than one "The Hater" in the world? Inconceivable!
Crystal wolf?
crystalwolf.org
Filtered through diamonds! And to think that they had me at quadruple distilled.
"With a name like Fudpucker Jam (oops, make that Crystal Head) it's GOT to be good!"
Back in college I tried to distill quite a bit of vodka in my own skull.
Now I know why Dan Aykroyd keeps following me around with that bendy straw and tiny parasol.
If you are looking for the Dan Akroyd Crystal Head Vodka, Chalet Gourmet in San Dimas, CA carries it.
120 W. Bonita Ave. Suite E
San Dimas, CA 91773
House of Fine Spirits, Wine, Beer, Cigars & Gourmet Delights
909-592-7300
Hours of Operation: Tuesday - Saturday 10am - 8pm
Closed: Sunday & Monday
Ask for Aline
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