Friday, October 20, 2006
FIRST, see you tonight (Monday) in Baltimore.
NOW, a little matter regarding THE FUTURE.
AS YOU MAY KNOW, Coulton and I will be visiting Square Books in Oxford, Mississippi this Saturday, Oct 28, at 4PM.
NOW IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION that, in addition to being a lovely, leafy, whiskey-soaked town, final resting place of the corpse of William Faulkner, and seat of Lafayette County, OXFORD ADDITIONALLY ENJOYS SPORTS
Especially: OLE MISS FOOTBALL.
IN FACT, there will be a FOOTBALL CHALLENGE that very morning between the Ole Miss Rebels and the Auburn Fierce Footballers, or whatever they are called.
(I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT SPORTS.)
WHAT THIS MEANS, according to the very kind staff Square Books is as follows...
A) Everyone in town will be drunk.
B) After the game, it is hard to say who will want to come to a 4PM reading of FAKE TRIVIA.
C) But we should come on down anyway and hang out and have a drink.
LISTEN: this all sounds fine to me.
HOWEVER, it occurs to me that there may in fact be some people in Oxford, in greater Mississippi , and even Southern Tennessee who do not love sports and might enjoy this non-sporting event.
FOR THEM, I offer the humble alternative: fake trivia, and fellowship, and also BRANDY.
FOR IN FACT, though I am useless at sports, I do like the drunk part. And so, Coulton and I have agreed to serve at this particular reading a BRANDY SANGAREE to all legal persons in attendance.
A SANGAREE, as you surely know, is a reviver, a pick-me-up, a transitional drink from one intoxication to the other, providing a perfect 4PM brandy twilight from the boozy morning tailgaiting to the late night rowdyness that is sure to follow.
SURELY THIS IS AN OFFER EVEN A SPORTSMAN CANNOT DENY!
SO I ASK OF YOU, friends in the South and on the Internet, please spread word of this affair to your non-sporting friends and let them know a Sangaree awaits them in the beautiful town square.
AND OF YOU, Oxfordians, I ask you to forgive us for being different and asthmatic and strange: a Sangaree awaits you as well, should you wish to rest your Rebel head for a moment atop a pile of books full of words.
LET US JOIN TOGETHER for once, and show the world that there can be peace between these two tribes, PEACE THROUGH BRANDY, and FAKE TRIVIA.
AND THEN everyone can buy books and get on with their lives.
AS THE WEEK GOES ON, I will occasionally remind you of this event, and maybe ask for some help with getting all the brandy and nutmeg together.
FOR NOW, though, I leave you with a particularly poetic bit of copy from the Square Books events page:
"THIS IS WHAT YOU THINK IT IS"
which is to say
THAT IS ALL