This is John Hodgman writing the 15th of 20th total electronic mailings regarding…
THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE
An actual book of fake knowledge available wherever actual books are sold.
THIS MAILING SHALL CONTAIN INFORMATION ON 8 TOTAL ITEMS, NUMBERED SEQUENTIALLY
1. YESTERDAY EVENING, I was a guest of THE MAJORITY REPORT on AIR AMERICA. Evidence of this may be found here; SEE HERE . Sam Seder is a man who knows his submarine slang.
2. MEANWHILE, thanks also to the famous radio program THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART for having me as its guest last Wednesday. They were very gracious hosts, supplying me with CREAM SODA and ALTOIDS for the rest of the year. And for a radio program, they really do have A BEAUTIFUL SET. A clip is available here: SEE HERE
3. Those who require FURTHER EXCITING COMPUTER DOWNLOADS may see me wearing a tie HERE , where I appear as A DERANGED MILLIONAIRE courtesy of the everlasting, always-blasting THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS.
4. ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET, BOING BOING, a directory increasingly devoted to hobo illustration, amazingly points out that there are a number of ILLUSTRATED HOBO NAMES now available on the web, and that number is: 100 OR MORE—including many by apelad. SEE HERE
5. ALMOST PENULTIMATELY, may I say thank you to the city of Seattle for all your hospitality the USE OF YOUR PUBLIC AIRWAVES ( KUOW ). A full report on my visit to AMERICA’S SPACE-NEEDLE-TOWN will be posted in the pages of the Stranger—IN THE FUTURE!
6. MYSTERY PERFORMANCES. For many weeks, I have been unable to tell you the start time of certain upcoming performances. NOW THEY CAN BE REVEALED.
**MONDAY, Nov 28’s performance at MO PITKIN’S in NYC (34 Avenue A) SHALL BEGIN AT 7PM (Jonathan COULTON shall play songs of his own making after the reading).
**WEDNESDAY, Nov 30’s performance at HOW TO KICK PEOPLE (D Lounge, 101 East 15th Street) SHALL BEGIN AT 7:30PM and shall welcome ILLUSTRATIONS BY EMILY FLAKE ( SEE HERE )
**THURSDAY, Dec 1’s performance at the UNIVERSITY OF BALTIMORE with David Rees, Lizzie Skurnick, and COULTON SHALL BEGIN AT 7PM.
7. BALTIMORE begins a series of MID ATLANTIC appearances by COULTON and ME in the company of DAVID REES. We will be traveling BY CAR—I hope, by STATION WAGON, and we will see you ON THE ROAD. I hope. More news to follow.
8. UNTIL THEN, I wish you HAPPY THANKSGIVING. Turkey is a proven soporific, but luckily MOST MASHED POTATOES IN AMERICA CONTAIN TRACES OF CRYSTAL METH.
9. THAT IS ALL.
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How many mints exactly were handed to you at this show?
I would say probably about 1000 in total. Many of them were in containers, though. Not separately handed to me.
Dear Mr. Hodgman,
I remember you, but you do not remember me. One year ago, you spoke at my comedy writing class at Princeton University. During that class you memorized the name of every student in the class in under 2 minutes. It was impressive. At the end of the semester, we remembered what you had done and voted you the winner of the "Princeton Comedy Prize". At least I think you were the winner.
I don't know why I am writing this post, other than to say congratulations and you should teach a class at Princeton. I would definitely enroll.
Hello Mister Hodgman. I recently saw you on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and quite enjoyed watching you. You're funny, intelligent, and overall a cool person. Therefore, I'm going to buy your book. So, there's some money for you, I guess. Oh, and your definitely one of my new idols...right between Edgar Allan Poe and Michelangelo (The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, of course). I don't think you'll care really, having a high school student find you funny and interesting, but that's okay.
Good luck with finding your remote control.(in my attempt to think of a good finishing statement, I thought 'Hey, everyone loses the remote control, I should wish him good luck with his future endevours in the field.')
I'm sorry for the rambling and the nonsense, and I will stop. Now.
You were brilliant on The Daily Show. I immediately went out and bought your book after that interview. I have not completed it yet, but so far I am loving it. I have a soft spot for hobos (and hoboes) and everything related to them!
I am looking forward to your visit to the University of Baltimore this Thursday. Not only is it allowing me and my classmates to leave early to come see you, but it also counts towards our "Participation" credits. Thank you for providing a (hopefully) entertaining experience in which I may earn my participation credits.
Furthermore, if there is low turnout, please be assured it is not due to all of you, but that UB is a commuter college, and many of us have families and work to return to. Not me though.
Your interview on the Daily Show was incredible, and prior to reading your blog I had spotted you on TMBG.com. That was this morning.
I have to get back to work now, but be assured, there are many people excited by your arrival in Baltimore. And yes, that does include me.
A New Fan Named Jill.
You had me at hobo.
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