Tuesday, July 29, 2008

JUST FINISHED DOING THE BILL DWIGHT SHOW

JUST FINISHED DOING THE BILL DWIGHT show with David Rees and Jaz(z) Tupelo.

DELIGHTFUL

AM BLOGGING BRIEFLY from WHMP and reveling in their giant barrels of FAST INTERNET and ALL CAPS.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING about the secret show at the Rendezvous at 8PM tonight.

OF COURSE, I WILL NOT SEE YOU there, because I NEVER WROTE THIS.

AND TURNERS FALLS does not exist!

That is all.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

THANK YOU, DENIZENS

THANK YOU Rendezvous and its denizens for your patience and good humor.

YOU ALL KNOW A LOT MORE ABOUT MOLE-MEN than most of your fellow citizens (at least, those who are surface dwellers).

EVENTUALLY I BELIEVE the radio shall make some of it available on the radio.

UNTIL THEN, I look forward to seeing you at the next Secret Show, next week...

SAME MOLE-PLACE, SAME MOLE-TIME

For a discussion of non mole-manic issues.

That is all.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

IF YOU HEARD ME ON WHMP-NORTHAMPTON THIS MORNING

THEN YOU KNOW these facts about tonight's SECRET SHOW/CRAFT NIGHT at the Rendezvous:

YES, commenter known as "bourgeoispig," I will read "Top Spots for Crab," because it has a LOCAL ANGLE.

(ALSO, update your blog!)

and

YES, commenter known as "adriane," is is free of charge.

BUT FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, buy alcohol (or non-alcohol) and tip heavily: it's a bar!

SEE YOU THEN (8pm) at the VOO.

That is all.

Friday, July 18, 2008

CRAFT NIGHT AT THE VOO

I AM TOLD that the SECRET SHOW next Tuesday overlaps with the Rendezvous bar's regular

KNITTING AND CRAFT NIGHT.

PLEASE FEEL FREE, thus, to bring your unfinished blankets, collage projects, model airplanes, and papier mache constructions.

I WILL BE BRINGING my own scrapbook of fake trivia and mole-man names.

THAT IS ALL.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

THANK YOU, STANDARD DESIGN

THANKS, SD, for your consideration.

BUT HERE IT IS, the next morning

AND I AM STILL NOT DONE ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT LOVE for Glamour magazine.

That is all.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

YOU DID NOT HEAR IT FROM ME

That is all.

NOT THAT I'M SPENDING ALL DAY ON THE DEHYDRATED FOODS SITE

BUT I KNEW YOU WERE WONDERING about the "Spray-Dried Squid"

AND THE ANSWER IS YES.

That is all.

PACKAGING: DRUMS AND TOTES

COURTESY BRIAN from the comments, and the good people of American Dehydrated Foods:

MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE ABOUT LIQUID CHICKEN

BEGIN quoted text

Features Benefits
Shelf-stable Can be stored for up to nine (9) months, depending upon the antioxidant used.
Low moisture Helps to ensure microbiological and chemical stability. (Max. of 0.25%)
Freshness Produced daily; from fresh, young broilers.
Does not require freezing.
Liquid Reduces production cost, compared to using frozen or lard products.
Choice of antioxidant Your choice: BHA, BHT, Rosemary or many other natural antioxidants.
Packaging choices Drums and totes
Antioxidant Customer choice.
Application Information
Usage: Sprayed on, as a topical application, typically at a 1-8% rate for petfood, biscuits or treats.
May also be applied as an inclusion ingredient in canned petfoods, at a rate
of 1-10%
Ash: N/A
Moisture: 0.25%
Standard Packaging: Drums and Totes

END quoted text.

OBSERVATION 1: Does AMERICAN DEHYDRATED FOODS give away liquid chicken totes as a premium during their pledge drive?

OBS 2: Sweet Golden Retriever!*

THAT IS ALL






*Actual observation about the dog on the website, not a euphemism for liquid chicken.**

**Though it is acceptable to use this phrase as a general exclamation of surprise.

SONG FU

JULY 15 is the final challenge.

That is all.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

THE INTERNET IS NOT A BIG TRUCK

DAVID GUION (who wrote and read the "Spy Rock" Lecture on the Little Gray Book Lecture Podcasts exactly 82 years ago today) wrote today regarding

A BURGEONING TRUCK/INTERNET MYSTERY.

AS GUION does not have a blog, and I am currently in the INTERNETLESS HILLS, and thus forced to blog even more poorly than ever,

I PRESENT HIS E-MAIL TO YOU UNEDITED, and without further interruption.

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT

Gentlemen,

"This tanker truck was traveling between Little Rock and Nashville, as were we, on July 2. If you google the relevant phrase you will get nothing but blog entries by people describing how they googled it too and came up dry."

"It is worth noting that liquid is the state between solid and gas."

END QUOTED TEXT.

That is all.

PS: The time for both SECRET SHOWS shall be 8PM.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

INTERNETLESS

I WILL BE LARGELY INTERNETLESS for the next few weeks. I will do what I can to update from remote locations. I may even tell you about those locations.

OR I MAY SIMPLY CONTINUE TO KEEP MY OWN SECRETS.

IN ANY CASE, I make this promise:

1) I WILL SHOW YOU A PICTURE OF BIGFOOT.

2) WATCH THIS SPACE FOR DETAILS OF TWO SECRET READINGS AT THE RENDEZVOUS in Turners Falls, MA, at which I will sit at a table and try to remember how to read in public. These will occur on July 22 and July 29, time TBD.

I JUST REALIZED that I am terrible at keeping my own secrets.

THAT IS ALL.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

SASQUATCH IS MISSING, AND MAY SOON BE GONE FOREVER

I FIRST LEARNED OF THIS SAD TALE from noted cryptozoologist LOREN COLEMAN:



NOW, JUST BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO HAVE THE SAME STATUE in my home in Internetless Hills, MA, it does not mean that I stole it from the Niki's Quick Six.

NOT AT ALL. The truth is, COULTON got it for me for Xmas (I can prove it).

AND AS COLEMAN HIMSELF POINTS OUT, it is widely available through Toscano Design.

WHICH LEADS TO ONE QUESTION : how many should we buy for the Quick Six?

MEANWHILE, I do not thank Loren Coleman enough for all his inspiration. You may have heard from BOINGBOING that he is being audited by the IRS.

THEY SAY it is because his Cryptozoology Museum in Maine is not properly a "museum."

OTHERS SAY it is because the government does not want YOU to know the truth.

EITHER WAY, Coleman needs your help. He lays it all out here, and I hope you'll join me in supporting him.

That is all.