We are very grateful for all the people looking for hobo names.
Visitors from Boing Boing and elsewhere may find them here.
When listening, please bear in mind: Jonathan Coulton played the music, live, for an hour, one take. Thank you.
There is also a text edition of same, to be found here.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
#10 of 20
GOOD EVENING
And take cheer. This is the 10th of 20 TOTAL E-MAILINGS THAT YOU DID NOT REQUEST regarding…
THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE
“The almanac that contains no weather information and, once placed on your shelf, will secretly replace all neighboring books with its own text.”
My name is John Hodgman, and I greet you with……
……The results from a contest to DESCRIBE A MOUSTACHE……
……The results from a contest to CORRECT AN ERROR IN A MAGAZINE……
……Information about the closest bookstore to THE UCB THEATER……
……Information about ALBANY, our state’s capital……
……Information about THE CLOSEST BOOKSTORE to the u.c.b. theater……
……That is all……
STAND BY FOR PART ONE
***
PART ONE: The results from a contest to DESCRIBE A MOUSTACHE
Those of you who were able to attend last week’s LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE have all of our gratitude, and as a reward may skip this part of the e-mailing entirely, for you will already know that…
DAVE PRAEGER IS THE WINNER.
This pertains to a contest held at the Lecture in which members of the audience were asked to SWIFTLY AND ACCURATELY describe in prose THE UNUSUAL FACIAL HAIR OF A LONG-DECEASED MAN… one Captain Thompson.
(Cpt. Thompson’s facial hair may be observed HERE )
DAVE PRAEGER won a free copy of the book THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE for his brief description “DOUBLE WANG.”
BUT… our congratulations also go to these runners-up:
1st: “Tickle Me Timbers”—unsigned.
2nd: “Lucifer’s Horns”—A. Morris.
3rd: “2/3rds of the Rabbit Consumed”—unsigned.
If anyone would like to claim credit for these unsigned or ambiguously-signed descriptions, I would be pleased to acknowledge you.
Please especially, mysterious “Third Runner Up,” I would like to hear from you, because your description is strange and awesome and very accurate.
No offense to Dave Praeger, whom I adore, but I have come to the conclusion that he is a foul-mouthed loon, whereas you, THIRD RUNNER UP, are a moustache poet.
STAND BY FOR PART TWO
***
PART TWO: The results from a contest to CORRECT AN ERROR IN A MAGAZINE
As I have NOT LEFT MY HOME in several days, I do not know if TIME OUT NEW YORK has, as promised, published my letter correcting their error in their otherwise very kind and obviously drunken review of MY BOOK.
(Actual quote: “The book’s overall presentation gives Hodgman’s self-consciousness the feel of Nabokov’s PALE FIRE as directed by Wes Anderson. Glub glub glub. I am obviously drunk. Tee hee.”—Daniel Nester, Time Out NY, Oct 13-19). !!
So perhaps it is now common knowledge among TIME OUT NY readers that the missing word from the sentence they MISQUOTED from my book was:
“CYBORG.”
The correctly quoted sentence, thus, is:
“Young, handsome CYBORG Army officer kills own family, blames hippies.” (emphasis mine)
Unfortunately, no one guessed this one correctly, and so this “FREE BOOK” goes unclaimed.
But I shall give it away, as outlined below.
STAND BY FOR PART THREE
***
PART THREE: Information about the closest bookstore to THE UCB THEATER
Tomorrow night (MONDAY, OCTOBER 24, 9:30PM) I have been invited to speak and endure questioning as part of…
BRO’IN OUT WITH LEO AND TONY
A live talk show hosted by LEO ALLEN, sidekicked by TONY CAMIN, and welcoming guests SHONALI BHOWMILK and DEMETRI MARTIN to
THE UCB THEATER, 307 West 26th Street, tickets are available
Please note that BEER AND WINE WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE at this event, but not books.
YOUR NEAREST BOOKSTORE, in case there is a book of FAKE TRIVIA you want to buy and have signed by DEMETRI MARTIN, for example, is the Barnes and Noble at Sixth Avenue and 22nd Street.
STAND BY FOR PART FOUR
***
PART FOUR: Information about ALBANY, our state’s capital
THIS TUESDAY, OCT 25, 2005, Jonathan Coulton and I will drive northward with ARTHUR BRADFORD to address the citizens of Albany.
We are welcomed to the capital region by William Kennedy’s NEW YORK STATE WRITERS INSTITUTE, Donald Faulkner, Director.
You may see Arthur Bradford’s sideburns HERE
The reading, which is open to the public, begins at 8PM.
STAND BY FOR PART FIVE
***
PART FIVE: Information about THE CLOSEST BOOKSTORE to the u.c.b. theater
THEN, ON WEDNESDAY, OCT 26 at 7PM, Coulton and I will return to Manhattan and the sales floor of BARNES & NOBLE at 6th Avenue and 22nd Street.
PLEASE NOTE: as this is the first ACTUAL BOOKSTORE APPEARANCE since the publication of the book, it would be lovely to see AN ENORMOUS NUMBER OF PEOPLE there.
Or at least: SOME PEOPLE.
Thus, as an incentive, THE FREE BOOK NOT GIVEN AWAY ABOVE will instead be given away to anyone who demonstrably BRING THEIR PARENTS to the reading, or alternately, THEIR FIVE SIBLINGS, or AN ENTIRE CLASS OF COLLEGE STUDENTS.
No cousins, though, Enough with the cousins.
PLEASE NOTE that Barnes and Noble does NOT sell alcohol anymore. If you want beer or wine, you will have to go to the nearby UCB THEATER—I will be happy to sign any alcohol you bring to the reading.
STAND BY FOR PART SIX
***
PART SIX: That is all.
This E-MAILING #10 of 20 regarding THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE represents the midpoint of all e-mails you shall receive on this subject.
As always QUESTIONS COMMENTS AND CONCERNS on this or any subject may be posed to Hodgman@littlegraybooks.com.
If you wish to be removed from this mailing list, simply respond to this address and include the word “PLEASE END THIS MISERY” in your reply.
The final mailing on this subject will be made January 2, 2006.
THAT IS ALL.
And take cheer. This is the 10th of 20 TOTAL E-MAILINGS THAT YOU DID NOT REQUEST regarding…
THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE
“The almanac that contains no weather information and, once placed on your shelf, will secretly replace all neighboring books with its own text.”
My name is John Hodgman, and I greet you with……
……The results from a contest to DESCRIBE A MOUSTACHE……
……The results from a contest to CORRECT AN ERROR IN A MAGAZINE……
……Information about the closest bookstore to THE UCB THEATER……
……Information about ALBANY, our state’s capital……
……Information about THE CLOSEST BOOKSTORE to the u.c.b. theater……
……That is all……
STAND BY FOR PART ONE
***
PART ONE: The results from a contest to DESCRIBE A MOUSTACHE
Those of you who were able to attend last week’s LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE have all of our gratitude, and as a reward may skip this part of the e-mailing entirely, for you will already know that…
DAVE PRAEGER IS THE WINNER.
This pertains to a contest held at the Lecture in which members of the audience were asked to SWIFTLY AND ACCURATELY describe in prose THE UNUSUAL FACIAL HAIR OF A LONG-DECEASED MAN… one Captain Thompson.
(Cpt. Thompson’s facial hair may be observed HERE )
DAVE PRAEGER won a free copy of the book THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE for his brief description “DOUBLE WANG.”
BUT… our congratulations also go to these runners-up:
1st: “Tickle Me Timbers”—unsigned.
2nd: “Lucifer’s Horns”—A. Morris.
3rd: “2/3rds of the Rabbit Consumed”—unsigned.
If anyone would like to claim credit for these unsigned or ambiguously-signed descriptions, I would be pleased to acknowledge you.
Please especially, mysterious “Third Runner Up,” I would like to hear from you, because your description is strange and awesome and very accurate.
No offense to Dave Praeger, whom I adore, but I have come to the conclusion that he is a foul-mouthed loon, whereas you, THIRD RUNNER UP, are a moustache poet.
STAND BY FOR PART TWO
***
PART TWO: The results from a contest to CORRECT AN ERROR IN A MAGAZINE
As I have NOT LEFT MY HOME in several days, I do not know if TIME OUT NEW YORK has, as promised, published my letter correcting their error in their otherwise very kind and obviously drunken review of MY BOOK.
(Actual quote: “The book’s overall presentation gives Hodgman’s self-consciousness the feel of Nabokov’s PALE FIRE as directed by Wes Anderson. Glub glub glub. I am obviously drunk. Tee hee.”—Daniel Nester, Time Out NY, Oct 13-19). !!
So perhaps it is now common knowledge among TIME OUT NY readers that the missing word from the sentence they MISQUOTED from my book was:
“CYBORG.”
The correctly quoted sentence, thus, is:
“Young, handsome CYBORG Army officer kills own family, blames hippies.” (emphasis mine)
Unfortunately, no one guessed this one correctly, and so this “FREE BOOK” goes unclaimed.
But I shall give it away, as outlined below.
STAND BY FOR PART THREE
***
PART THREE: Information about the closest bookstore to THE UCB THEATER
Tomorrow night (MONDAY, OCTOBER 24, 9:30PM) I have been invited to speak and endure questioning as part of…
BRO’IN OUT WITH LEO AND TONY
A live talk show hosted by LEO ALLEN, sidekicked by TONY CAMIN, and welcoming guests SHONALI BHOWMILK and DEMETRI MARTIN to
THE UCB THEATER, 307 West 26th Street, tickets are available
Please note that BEER AND WINE WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE at this event, but not books.
YOUR NEAREST BOOKSTORE, in case there is a book of FAKE TRIVIA you want to buy and have signed by DEMETRI MARTIN, for example, is the Barnes and Noble at Sixth Avenue and 22nd Street.
STAND BY FOR PART FOUR
***
PART FOUR: Information about ALBANY, our state’s capital
THIS TUESDAY, OCT 25, 2005, Jonathan Coulton and I will drive northward with ARTHUR BRADFORD to address the citizens of Albany.
We are welcomed to the capital region by William Kennedy’s NEW YORK STATE WRITERS INSTITUTE, Donald Faulkner, Director.
You may see Arthur Bradford’s sideburns HERE
The reading, which is open to the public, begins at 8PM.
STAND BY FOR PART FIVE
***
PART FIVE: Information about THE CLOSEST BOOKSTORE to the u.c.b. theater
THEN, ON WEDNESDAY, OCT 26 at 7PM, Coulton and I will return to Manhattan and the sales floor of BARNES & NOBLE at 6th Avenue and 22nd Street.
PLEASE NOTE: as this is the first ACTUAL BOOKSTORE APPEARANCE since the publication of the book, it would be lovely to see AN ENORMOUS NUMBER OF PEOPLE there.
Or at least: SOME PEOPLE.
Thus, as an incentive, THE FREE BOOK NOT GIVEN AWAY ABOVE will instead be given away to anyone who demonstrably BRING THEIR PARENTS to the reading, or alternately, THEIR FIVE SIBLINGS, or AN ENTIRE CLASS OF COLLEGE STUDENTS.
No cousins, though, Enough with the cousins.
PLEASE NOTE that Barnes and Noble does NOT sell alcohol anymore. If you want beer or wine, you will have to go to the nearby UCB THEATER—I will be happy to sign any alcohol you bring to the reading.
STAND BY FOR PART SIX
***
PART SIX: That is all.
This E-MAILING #10 of 20 regarding THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE represents the midpoint of all e-mails you shall receive on this subject.
As always QUESTIONS COMMENTS AND CONCERNS on this or any subject may be posed to Hodgman@littlegraybooks.com.
If you wish to be removed from this mailing list, simply respond to this address and include the word “PLEASE END THIS MISERY” in your reply.
The final mailing on this subject will be made January 2, 2006.
THAT IS ALL.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Good Evening # 9 of 20
GOOD EVENING
My name is John Hodgman and I greet you via SIMPLE MAIL TRANSFER PROTOCOL with…
……Information Regarding LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO. 32, To Be Held THIS WEDNESDAY……
……Information Regarding A BENEFIT FOR 826NYC, To Be Held THIS THURSDAY……
……Information Regarding THE BROOKLINE ADVISORY COMMITTEE MEETING……
……a CHANCE TO WIN a free book, if that is what you want……
……That Is All……
STAND BY FOR PART ONE
***
PART ONE: ……Information Regarding LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO. 32, To Be Held THIS WEDNESDAY……
Lecture No. 32: HOW TO PREPARE MANUSCRIPTS FOR PUBLICATION
Will take place THIS WEDNESDAY, Oct 19, 2005, at 8PM, in the traditional location:
GALAPAGOS
70 North 6th Street, Between Kent and Wythe, in Williamsburg
(“Follow the L line to Bedford Station, and then: Walk!”)
We are especially delighted to announce that POTTS IS BACK FROM CHINA, and he will be accepting a $5 donation if you wish to make it at the door.
Once you step through the door, we will be joined by…
Mr. MARK ADAMS, a magazine editor who has now undertaken the Herculean task of writing a truly Herculean BOOK.
Ms. CYNTHIA HOPKINS, whose music, alone and under the auspices of GLORIA DELUXE (www.gloriadeluxe.com), have inspired many a writer of MANUSCRIPTS
Prof. ROBERT FARRIS THOMPSON, who has chased the shifting sounds, passions, and history of TANGO and has impossibly, yet somehow, tamed them into the pages of A BOOK. (http://www.randomhouse.com/pantheon/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780375409318)
Plus: instruction on HOW TO WRITE A BOOK, culled from the pages of ANOTHER DAMN BOOK: this one called THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE (www.areasofmyexpertise.com)
As always, songs by JONATHAN COULTON, Contributing Troubadour to POPULAR SCIENCE.
And a special WANDERING GUEST.
***
PART TWO: ……Information Regarding A BENEFIT FOR 826NYC To Be Held THIS THURSDAY……
On THURSDAY, Oct 20, at 8PM, which is EXACTLY 24 HOURS LATER
826NYC and THE BROOKLYN SUPERHERO SUPPLY COMPANY shall present its Spring 2006 collection of SUPER HERO COSTUMES
designed by FAMOUS FASHION DESIGNERS at Symphony Space.
(http://www.826nyc.org/events/info.html)
As well, there shall be: Samantha Bee, Rob Corddry, Ed Helms, Amy Sedaris, The Hungry March Band, a video of Patton Oswalt, reports from fictional characters and children, Sarah Vowell, and a special WANDERING GUEST.
Tickets are $25 or $75 if you wish to bid on a costume, and they may be purchased here: http://www.symphonyspace.org/genres/eventPage.php?genreId=4&eventId=1472
Does this seem expensive to you? How more dear the cost of ALL THE CHILDREN IN BROOKLYN BEING UNABLE TO READ?
Think about it.
CERTAIN BOOKS WILL BE SOLD AT BOTH GALAPAGOS AND SYMPHONY SPACE for only 22 dollars.
***
PART THREE:
……Information Regarding THE BROOKLINE ADVISORY COMMITTEE MEETING……
ALSO ON OCTOBER 20, as per my regular mailing from Ben Vivante, webmaster of www.townofbrooklinemass.com,
The Brookline Advisory Committee will be meeting at 7:00 PM in the Employees’ Lounge, 3rd Floor, Brookline Town Hall, Brookline, MASSACHUSETTS.
The agenda is schedule to include a review of the following warrant articles:
*ARTICLE 4: Issuance of Pension Obligation Bonds
*ARTICLE 15: Regulations Related to Site Disturbance, Clearing, and Public Shade Trees
*ARTICLE 17. Amendment to the Town's By-Laws-Creation of a New Article 7.12- Street Signs
*AND MANY OTHER ARTICLES
The public is invited to attend.
IF YOU WANT MORE INFORMATION ABOUT BROOKLINE, MASSACHUSETTS, please consider attending…
Our Little Gray Book Lecture No. 33, on the subject of
YOU CAN GO HOME AGAIN (OR AT LEAST, TO BROOKLINE)
this November 4, a Friday at 7:30PM
a special Lecture to be held in honor of Brookline’s 300th Anniversary and welcoming…
PATRICK BORELLI, JENNIFER DEADERICK, ADAM MAZMANIAN, JAMES PARKER, DANZY SENNA, ZEROBOY, and other illustrious guests.
ALL WITHIN the lovely and historic confines of THE COOLIDGE CORNER THEATER, 290 Harvard Street, Coolidge Corner, Brookline, MA. (www.coolidge.org)
More on this later, or by request.
STAND BY FOR PART FOUR.
***
PART FOUR: ……a CHANCE TO WIN a free book, if that is what you want……
THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE is now on sale for 22 dollars in many bookstores, and of course on computer networks via www.areasofmyexpertise.com.
However, if you want a free copy of this book—A 22 DOLLAR SAVINGS TO YOU—here is what you do:
Pick up a copy of this week’s TIME OUT NEW YORK MAGAZINE (Oct 13-19 with Maude Maggart on the cover), and turn to the review of the aforementioned BOOK on Page 79.
Note the slightly inaccurate quote from the book:
“’Young, handsome Army officer kills own family, blames hippies.’”
IF YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT WORD IS MISSING FROM THIS QUOTE, I will send a free copy of THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE to whatever address you specify.
And also, another book of my choosing. Maybe the TIME OUT GUIDE TO LONDON circa 2003, or something about robots.
Simply type your answer in an e-mail to this address, or write
PO BOX 1618
Cathedral Station
New York, NY 10025
THE SOLUTION will be revealed in the next mailing. HINTS will be liberally provided upon request.
***
……That Is All……
This SIMPLE MAIL TRANSFER PROTOCOL MESSAGE shall constitute the entirety of update #9 of 20 regarding THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE,
…A BOOK…
As always QUESTIONS COMMENTS AND CONCERNS on this or any subject may be posed to Hodgman@littlegraybooks.com.
If you wish to be removed from this mailing list, simply respond to this address and include the word “DESIST” in your reply.
The final mailing on this subject will be made January 2, 2006.
THAT IS ALL.
My name is John Hodgman and I greet you via SIMPLE MAIL TRANSFER PROTOCOL with…
……Information Regarding LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO. 32, To Be Held THIS WEDNESDAY……
……Information Regarding A BENEFIT FOR 826NYC, To Be Held THIS THURSDAY……
……Information Regarding THE BROOKLINE ADVISORY COMMITTEE MEETING……
……a CHANCE TO WIN a free book, if that is what you want……
……That Is All……
STAND BY FOR PART ONE
***
PART ONE: ……Information Regarding LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO. 32, To Be Held THIS WEDNESDAY……
Lecture No. 32: HOW TO PREPARE MANUSCRIPTS FOR PUBLICATION
Will take place THIS WEDNESDAY, Oct 19, 2005, at 8PM, in the traditional location:
GALAPAGOS
70 North 6th Street, Between Kent and Wythe, in Williamsburg
(“Follow the L line to Bedford Station, and then: Walk!”)
We are especially delighted to announce that POTTS IS BACK FROM CHINA, and he will be accepting a $5 donation if you wish to make it at the door.
Once you step through the door, we will be joined by…
Mr. MARK ADAMS, a magazine editor who has now undertaken the Herculean task of writing a truly Herculean BOOK.
Ms. CYNTHIA HOPKINS, whose music, alone and under the auspices of GLORIA DELUXE (www.gloriadeluxe.com), have inspired many a writer of MANUSCRIPTS
Prof. ROBERT FARRIS THOMPSON, who has chased the shifting sounds, passions, and history of TANGO and has impossibly, yet somehow, tamed them into the pages of A BOOK. (http://www.randomhouse.com/pantheon/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780375409318)
Plus: instruction on HOW TO WRITE A BOOK, culled from the pages of ANOTHER DAMN BOOK: this one called THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE (www.areasofmyexpertise.com)
As always, songs by JONATHAN COULTON, Contributing Troubadour to POPULAR SCIENCE.
And a special WANDERING GUEST.
***
PART TWO: ……Information Regarding A BENEFIT FOR 826NYC To Be Held THIS THURSDAY……
On THURSDAY, Oct 20, at 8PM, which is EXACTLY 24 HOURS LATER
826NYC and THE BROOKLYN SUPERHERO SUPPLY COMPANY shall present its Spring 2006 collection of SUPER HERO COSTUMES
designed by FAMOUS FASHION DESIGNERS at Symphony Space.
(http://www.826nyc.org/events/info.html)
As well, there shall be: Samantha Bee, Rob Corddry, Ed Helms, Amy Sedaris, The Hungry March Band, a video of Patton Oswalt, reports from fictional characters and children, Sarah Vowell, and a special WANDERING GUEST.
Tickets are $25 or $75 if you wish to bid on a costume, and they may be purchased here: http://www.symphonyspace.org/genres/eventPage.php?genreId=4&eventId=1472
Does this seem expensive to you? How more dear the cost of ALL THE CHILDREN IN BROOKLYN BEING UNABLE TO READ?
Think about it.
CERTAIN BOOKS WILL BE SOLD AT BOTH GALAPAGOS AND SYMPHONY SPACE for only 22 dollars.
***
PART THREE:
……Information Regarding THE BROOKLINE ADVISORY COMMITTEE MEETING……
ALSO ON OCTOBER 20, as per my regular mailing from Ben Vivante, webmaster of www.townofbrooklinemass.com,
The Brookline Advisory Committee will be meeting at 7:00 PM in the Employees’ Lounge, 3rd Floor, Brookline Town Hall, Brookline, MASSACHUSETTS.
The agenda is schedule to include a review of the following warrant articles:
*ARTICLE 4: Issuance of Pension Obligation Bonds
*ARTICLE 15: Regulations Related to Site Disturbance, Clearing, and Public Shade Trees
*ARTICLE 17. Amendment to the Town's By-Laws-Creation of a New Article 7.12- Street Signs
*AND MANY OTHER ARTICLES
The public is invited to attend.
IF YOU WANT MORE INFORMATION ABOUT BROOKLINE, MASSACHUSETTS, please consider attending…
Our Little Gray Book Lecture No. 33, on the subject of
YOU CAN GO HOME AGAIN (OR AT LEAST, TO BROOKLINE)
this November 4, a Friday at 7:30PM
a special Lecture to be held in honor of Brookline’s 300th Anniversary and welcoming…
PATRICK BORELLI, JENNIFER DEADERICK, ADAM MAZMANIAN, JAMES PARKER, DANZY SENNA, ZEROBOY, and other illustrious guests.
ALL WITHIN the lovely and historic confines of THE COOLIDGE CORNER THEATER, 290 Harvard Street, Coolidge Corner, Brookline, MA. (www.coolidge.org)
More on this later, or by request.
STAND BY FOR PART FOUR.
***
PART FOUR: ……a CHANCE TO WIN a free book, if that is what you want……
THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE is now on sale for 22 dollars in many bookstores, and of course on computer networks via www.areasofmyexpertise.com.
However, if you want a free copy of this book—A 22 DOLLAR SAVINGS TO YOU—here is what you do:
Pick up a copy of this week’s TIME OUT NEW YORK MAGAZINE (Oct 13-19 with Maude Maggart on the cover), and turn to the review of the aforementioned BOOK on Page 79.
Note the slightly inaccurate quote from the book:
“’Young, handsome Army officer kills own family, blames hippies.’”
IF YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT WORD IS MISSING FROM THIS QUOTE, I will send a free copy of THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE to whatever address you specify.
And also, another book of my choosing. Maybe the TIME OUT GUIDE TO LONDON circa 2003, or something about robots.
Simply type your answer in an e-mail to this address, or write
PO BOX 1618
Cathedral Station
New York, NY 10025
THE SOLUTION will be revealed in the next mailing. HINTS will be liberally provided upon request.
***
……That Is All……
This SIMPLE MAIL TRANSFER PROTOCOL MESSAGE shall constitute the entirety of update #9 of 20 regarding THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE,
…A BOOK…
As always QUESTIONS COMMENTS AND CONCERNS on this or any subject may be posed to Hodgman@littlegraybooks.com.
If you wish to be removed from this mailing list, simply respond to this address and include the word “DESIST” in your reply.
The final mailing on this subject will be made January 2, 2006.
THAT IS ALL.
Monday, October 10, 2005
#8 of 20
GOOD EVENING
This is John Hodgman writing via UNSOLICITED ELECTRO-MAIL regarding…
THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE
…a compendium of amazing true facts, historical oddities, and esoteric trivia that are almost exclusively MADE UP, by me, JOHN HODGMAN, a professional writer.
(SEE: THIS WEBSITE )
Today is 10 October, 2005 and I offer you FINEST WISHES for Canadian Thanksgiving (AKA “Doppelganger Turkey Day”), Columbus Day (AKA “Day of the Great Semi-Circumnavigator” AKA “Indigenous Peoples’ Anti-Thanksgiving”) and greet you with…
……NEWS FROM THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA…… ……A PROMISE REGARDING SKUNKS…… ……A GENTLE REMINDER…… ……THAT IS ALL……
***
PART ONE: NEWS FROM THE MSM
These are turbulent times, with much actual news to cover, so we are grateful and somewhat embarrassed to note this further example of “Newsweek’s” BIAS TOWARD HOBO NAMES (SEE: A PROMINENT NEWS WEEKLY )
As you know, further hobo names may be heard with music here (SEE: THIS LINK)
***
PART TWO: A PROMISE REGARDING SKUNKS
In re-reading my initial mailing on the subject of COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE (ol’ #1 of 20, now a collectors’ item among people who collect unsolicited electro-mails), I realized that I made a promise to send to you UNPUBLISHED PHOTOS OF CATS AND SKUNKS EATING TOGETHER.
I regret if any of you people have been waiting for this, and aim to repair the damage of my broken promise now.
Since I do not want to load up your in-box with large (large!) files of skunks-as-pets photos, I will direct you here:
(SEE: A PLACE FOR SKUNKS AND MORE )
Here you will find:
1. FIGURE 2: “AN OMINOUS PORTENT” (as published on page 34 of my book).
2. AN UNPUBLISHED PHOTO OF A SKUNK AND CAT EATING
3. AN UNPUBLISHED PHOTO OF TWO SKUNKS WHO ARE KEPT AS PETS
4. AN UNPUBLISHED PHOTO OF A SKUNK DRESSED IN A LEATHER JACKET
5. AN UNPUBLISHED PHOTO OF A CAT LOOKING AT A PHOTO OF A SKUNK DRESSED IN A LEATHER JACKET
(All of these photos are courtesy Ms. Lynnda Butler, and thanks are given to her as well as her affiliate organization SKUNKS AS PETS
You may also note that THIS WEBSITE is a REPOSITORY for all prior unsolicited electro-mails on this subject, if that is of any use to you.
At some point you will be able to subscribe to this archive, such that these ELECTRO-MAILS will become absolutely OBSOLETE. Oh glorious day.
UPDATE! Apparently this helps with the subscribing: http://areasofmyexpertise.blogspot.com/atom.xml
But for now, you can only subscribe to the OBSCURE PHOTO STREAM
However, you will also note that the famed and very rare electro-mail “#1 OF 20” is not archived here, and is currently only available from collectors, who sell copies of that mailing in little mylar bags at the saddest flea market in the world.
AND ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET Jonathan Coulton is looking for a guitar solo: www.jonathancoulton.com
***
PART THREE: A GENTLE REMINDER
If there are citizens of the world who do not know this information already, I send it again:
LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO 32: “How to Prepare Manuscripts for Publication
SHALL OCCUR next Wednesday at 8PM at Galapagos…
(70 N. 6th Street, between Kent and Wythe, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn)
A $5 donation shall be requested at the door by POTTS, if he is back from China.
MEANWHILE, AS YOU WAIT, perhaps you will consider “THE PETERSONS” concert at Caroline’s at 9PM tonight?
PETERSONIC!
***
PART FOUR: THAT IS ALL
This special UNSOLICITED ELECTRO-MAIL shall constitute the entirety of update #8 of 20 regarding THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE,
…a book to be published by Dutton on October 24, 2005, and which shall be for sale via bookstores and computer networks October 20, 2005.
As always QUESTIONS COMMENTS AND CONCERNS on this or any subject may be posed to Hodgman@littlegraybooks.com.
YOU MAY ALSO WRITE VIA “MAIL BOX”: PO Box 1618, Cathedral Station, New York City, NY 10025
If you wish to be removed from this mailing list, simply respond to this address and include the word “PLEASE NO MORE!” in your reply.
The final mailing on this subject will be made January 2, 2006.
THAT IS ALL.
This is John Hodgman writing via UNSOLICITED ELECTRO-MAIL regarding…
THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE
…a compendium of amazing true facts, historical oddities, and esoteric trivia that are almost exclusively MADE UP, by me, JOHN HODGMAN, a professional writer.
(SEE: THIS WEBSITE )
Today is 10 October, 2005 and I offer you FINEST WISHES for Canadian Thanksgiving (AKA “Doppelganger Turkey Day”), Columbus Day (AKA “Day of the Great Semi-Circumnavigator” AKA “Indigenous Peoples’ Anti-Thanksgiving”) and greet you with…
……NEWS FROM THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA…… ……A PROMISE REGARDING SKUNKS…… ……A GENTLE REMINDER…… ……THAT IS ALL……
***
PART ONE: NEWS FROM THE MSM
These are turbulent times, with much actual news to cover, so we are grateful and somewhat embarrassed to note this further example of “Newsweek’s” BIAS TOWARD HOBO NAMES (SEE: A PROMINENT NEWS WEEKLY )
As you know, further hobo names may be heard with music here (SEE: THIS LINK)
***
PART TWO: A PROMISE REGARDING SKUNKS
In re-reading my initial mailing on the subject of COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE (ol’ #1 of 20, now a collectors’ item among people who collect unsolicited electro-mails), I realized that I made a promise to send to you UNPUBLISHED PHOTOS OF CATS AND SKUNKS EATING TOGETHER.
I regret if any of you people have been waiting for this, and aim to repair the damage of my broken promise now.
Since I do not want to load up your in-box with large (large!) files of skunks-as-pets photos, I will direct you here:
(SEE: A PLACE FOR SKUNKS AND MORE )
Here you will find:
1. FIGURE 2: “AN OMINOUS PORTENT” (as published on page 34 of my book).
2. AN UNPUBLISHED PHOTO OF A SKUNK AND CAT EATING
3. AN UNPUBLISHED PHOTO OF TWO SKUNKS WHO ARE KEPT AS PETS
4. AN UNPUBLISHED PHOTO OF A SKUNK DRESSED IN A LEATHER JACKET
5. AN UNPUBLISHED PHOTO OF A CAT LOOKING AT A PHOTO OF A SKUNK DRESSED IN A LEATHER JACKET
(All of these photos are courtesy Ms. Lynnda Butler, and thanks are given to her as well as her affiliate organization SKUNKS AS PETS
You may also note that THIS WEBSITE is a REPOSITORY for all prior unsolicited electro-mails on this subject, if that is of any use to you.
At some point you will be able to subscribe to this archive, such that these ELECTRO-MAILS will become absolutely OBSOLETE. Oh glorious day.
UPDATE! Apparently this helps with the subscribing: http://areasofmyexpertise.blogspot.com/atom.xml
But for now, you can only subscribe to the OBSCURE PHOTO STREAM
However, you will also note that the famed and very rare electro-mail “#1 OF 20” is not archived here, and is currently only available from collectors, who sell copies of that mailing in little mylar bags at the saddest flea market in the world.
AND ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET Jonathan Coulton is looking for a guitar solo: www.jonathancoulton.com
***
PART THREE: A GENTLE REMINDER
If there are citizens of the world who do not know this information already, I send it again:
LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO 32: “How to Prepare Manuscripts for Publication
SHALL OCCUR next Wednesday at 8PM at Galapagos…
(70 N. 6th Street, between Kent and Wythe, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn)
A $5 donation shall be requested at the door by POTTS, if he is back from China.
MEANWHILE, AS YOU WAIT, perhaps you will consider “THE PETERSONS” concert at Caroline’s at 9PM tonight?
PETERSONIC!
***
PART FOUR: THAT IS ALL
This special UNSOLICITED ELECTRO-MAIL shall constitute the entirety of update #8 of 20 regarding THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE,
…a book to be published by Dutton on October 24, 2005, and which shall be for sale via bookstores and computer networks October 20, 2005.
As always QUESTIONS COMMENTS AND CONCERNS on this or any subject may be posed to Hodgman@littlegraybooks.com.
YOU MAY ALSO WRITE VIA “MAIL BOX”: PO Box 1618, Cathedral Station, New York City, NY 10025
If you wish to be removed from this mailing list, simply respond to this address and include the word “PLEASE NO MORE!” in your reply.
The final mailing on this subject will be made January 2, 2006.
THAT IS ALL.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
#7 of 20
GOOD EVENING
This is John Hodgman writing via THE OVERNIGHT ELECTRO-MAIL regarding…
THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE
…a compendium of amazing true facts, historical oddities, and esoteric trivia that are almost exclusively MADE UP, by me, JOHN HODGMAN, a professional writer.
(SEE: A WEBSITE )
Tonight it is either 5 or 6 October, 2005, and I greet you, unasked for with:
……INFORMATION REGARDING LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO. 32…… ……TRUE FACTS ABOUT PHILADELPHIA…… ……”INTERNET” NEWS…… ……THAT IS ALL……
***
PART ONE: INFORMATION REGARDING LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO. 32
The aforementioned LECTURE, on the subject of “How to Prepare Manuscripts for Publication”
SHALL IN FACT OCCUR
On Oct 19, 2005, a Wednesday, at 8PM, in the traditional location: “Galapagos”
and shall welcome…
MARK ADAMS, discussing the muscular genius of Bernarr McFadden, visionary of both literary and physical culture;
CYNTHIA HOPKINS, the renowned singer, speaker, and accordionist;
ROBERT FARRIS THOMPSON, of Yale, who has tamed the Tango and pressed it into the pages of “a book.”
…AMONG ILLUSTRIOUS OTHERS…
…and also some material from a book that is being published IN OCTOBER.
GALAPAGOS, as you know, is located at 70 N. 6th Street, between Kent and Wythe, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn… “Take the L train and alight a Bedford Avenue”
A $5 donation shall be requested at the door by POTTS, if he is back from China.
***
PART TWO: TRUE FACTS ABOUT PHILADELPHIA
Working in reverse chronological order, I wish to discuss with you: Philadelphia.
As you certainly know, the 215 Festival of Philadelphia has presented the citizens of that historic city (colloquially known as “brotherly-lovers” or “mummers”) with THE QUESTIONABLE BLESSING OF LITERARY READINGS for the past several autumns.
This autumn shall be no exception, as you will see if you go to the internet (SEE: www.215festival.com)
I have had the pleasure of hosting several events at the 215 over the years, including one reading at the Free Library of Philadelphia, during which a member of the audience kindly went out and bought me whiskey IN THE MIDDLE OF THE READING--and brought me back change.
It was remarkable, proving what I have always maintained: IN PHILADELPHIA, THE PEOPLE ARE KIND, AND THE WHISKEY IS CHEAPER THAN ALMANACS!
At this year’s festival, Coulton and I shall be presenting some material from a certain book that is being published IN OCTOBER at that city’s beautiful MUSEUM OF ART…
This shall occur ON FRIDAY, Oct 7, at 5:45PM, in between sets from the gypsy band BEAU DJANGO (SEE: www.philamuseum.org/events/friday).
…thus leaving you plenty of time to see ONE RING ZERO that evening and all of the Festival’s other fine offerings.
In gratitude, I dedicate to the 215 this excerpt from A BOOK TO BE PUBLISHED IN OCTOBER, which was first spoken upon the stage of that same Free Library, about 2000 years ago…
FAST FACTS ABOUT PHILADELPHIA
DID YOU KNOW?
-The word Philadelphia, from the Greek, literally means “Pennsylvania.”
-It has the highest number, per capita, of Benjamin Franklin impersonators in the country.
-Someday all of the Benjamin Franklin impersonators will fight all of the Mark Twain impersonators, flooding valleys and destroying whole towns in their wake, until nothing is left. I wanted to see Phila once more before that happened.
-Harrison Ford lives here and protects Amish children
-Bryn Mawr College, a small but esteemed school of witchcraft in the city’s western suburbs, is sometimes visible by day.
-Philadelphia is at the cutting edge of some of the most exciting new developments in sandwich technology today. The sandwiches here are so large and complex and sublime that in they contain whole philosophies. Some have the complete oral traditions of several ancient cultures hidden within the roll alone.
-Philadelphia was one of the 13 East Coast cities called “home” by Edgar Allen Poe, and it was here that he hosted the first of his many Christmas Literary Extravaganzas. Held in 1839, it was, by contemporary accounts, a grand affair, involving feats of literary memorization and drunken sword canery, and a chorus line of murderous orangutans. Poe was dressed as Santa Claus, but at this point in his career this was hardly unusual. After reciting Tamerlane, he famously brought out his child bride Virginia and seated her on his lap. What would you like from Santa this year, he asked. And she replied “the modern detective story.” And so he invented then and there, writing The Murders in the Rue Morgue using only a checkers board, a bottle of brandy, a map of Paris. At this point, the Police chased Poe back to Baltimore.
WERE YOU AWARE OF IT?
***
PART THREE: “INTERNET” NEWS
Elsewhere on the Internet, the 700 HOBO NAMES ARE UP at
www.areasofmyexpertise.com
All I have to say is: one take. I trust that is sufficiently cryptic to pique your interest.
(NB: Apparently the internet alread knows. Thank you, Tristeza.
***
PART FOUR: THAT IS ALL
THAT IS ALL.
This is John Hodgman writing via THE OVERNIGHT ELECTRO-MAIL regarding…
THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE
…a compendium of amazing true facts, historical oddities, and esoteric trivia that are almost exclusively MADE UP, by me, JOHN HODGMAN, a professional writer.
(SEE: A WEBSITE )
Tonight it is either 5 or 6 October, 2005, and I greet you, unasked for with:
……INFORMATION REGARDING LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO. 32…… ……TRUE FACTS ABOUT PHILADELPHIA…… ……”INTERNET” NEWS…… ……THAT IS ALL……
***
PART ONE: INFORMATION REGARDING LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO. 32
The aforementioned LECTURE, on the subject of “How to Prepare Manuscripts for Publication”
SHALL IN FACT OCCUR
On Oct 19, 2005, a Wednesday, at 8PM, in the traditional location: “Galapagos”
and shall welcome…
MARK ADAMS, discussing the muscular genius of Bernarr McFadden, visionary of both literary and physical culture;
CYNTHIA HOPKINS, the renowned singer, speaker, and accordionist;
ROBERT FARRIS THOMPSON, of Yale, who has tamed the Tango and pressed it into the pages of “a book.”
…AMONG ILLUSTRIOUS OTHERS…
…and also some material from a book that is being published IN OCTOBER.
GALAPAGOS, as you know, is located at 70 N. 6th Street, between Kent and Wythe, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn… “Take the L train and alight a Bedford Avenue”
A $5 donation shall be requested at the door by POTTS, if he is back from China.
***
PART TWO: TRUE FACTS ABOUT PHILADELPHIA
Working in reverse chronological order, I wish to discuss with you: Philadelphia.
As you certainly know, the 215 Festival of Philadelphia has presented the citizens of that historic city (colloquially known as “brotherly-lovers” or “mummers”) with THE QUESTIONABLE BLESSING OF LITERARY READINGS for the past several autumns.
This autumn shall be no exception, as you will see if you go to the internet (SEE: www.215festival.com)
I have had the pleasure of hosting several events at the 215 over the years, including one reading at the Free Library of Philadelphia, during which a member of the audience kindly went out and bought me whiskey IN THE MIDDLE OF THE READING--and brought me back change.
It was remarkable, proving what I have always maintained: IN PHILADELPHIA, THE PEOPLE ARE KIND, AND THE WHISKEY IS CHEAPER THAN ALMANACS!
At this year’s festival, Coulton and I shall be presenting some material from a certain book that is being published IN OCTOBER at that city’s beautiful MUSEUM OF ART…
This shall occur ON FRIDAY, Oct 7, at 5:45PM, in between sets from the gypsy band BEAU DJANGO (SEE: www.philamuseum.org/events/friday).
…thus leaving you plenty of time to see ONE RING ZERO that evening and all of the Festival’s other fine offerings.
In gratitude, I dedicate to the 215 this excerpt from A BOOK TO BE PUBLISHED IN OCTOBER, which was first spoken upon the stage of that same Free Library, about 2000 years ago…
FAST FACTS ABOUT PHILADELPHIA
DID YOU KNOW?
-The word Philadelphia, from the Greek, literally means “Pennsylvania.”
-It has the highest number, per capita, of Benjamin Franklin impersonators in the country.
-Someday all of the Benjamin Franklin impersonators will fight all of the Mark Twain impersonators, flooding valleys and destroying whole towns in their wake, until nothing is left. I wanted to see Phila once more before that happened.
-Harrison Ford lives here and protects Amish children
-Bryn Mawr College, a small but esteemed school of witchcraft in the city’s western suburbs, is sometimes visible by day.
-Philadelphia is at the cutting edge of some of the most exciting new developments in sandwich technology today. The sandwiches here are so large and complex and sublime that in they contain whole philosophies. Some have the complete oral traditions of several ancient cultures hidden within the roll alone.
-Philadelphia was one of the 13 East Coast cities called “home” by Edgar Allen Poe, and it was here that he hosted the first of his many Christmas Literary Extravaganzas. Held in 1839, it was, by contemporary accounts, a grand affair, involving feats of literary memorization and drunken sword canery, and a chorus line of murderous orangutans. Poe was dressed as Santa Claus, but at this point in his career this was hardly unusual. After reciting Tamerlane, he famously brought out his child bride Virginia and seated her on his lap. What would you like from Santa this year, he asked. And she replied “the modern detective story.” And so he invented then and there, writing The Murders in the Rue Morgue using only a checkers board, a bottle of brandy, a map of Paris. At this point, the Police chased Poe back to Baltimore.
WERE YOU AWARE OF IT?
***
PART THREE: “INTERNET” NEWS
Elsewhere on the Internet, the 700 HOBO NAMES ARE UP at
www.areasofmyexpertise.com
All I have to say is: one take. I trust that is sufficiently cryptic to pique your interest.
(NB: Apparently the internet alread knows. Thank you, Tristeza.
***
PART FOUR: THAT IS ALL
THAT IS ALL.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
TIMELY ITEMS
PLEASE NOTE THESE TIMELY ITEMS...
FOR THOSE IN PHILADELPHIA THIS FRIDAY, OCT 7:
Coulton and Hodgman shall speak on hoboes at the Philadelphia Museum of Art
as part of the 215 Festival
and in between the gypsy songs of Beau Django
THIS FRIDAY, Oct 7, at 5:45-8:15PM
26th & Ben Franklin Parkway, Phila., PA
www.philamuseum.org/events/friday
(museum admission)
LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO. 32,
on the subject of "How to Prepare Manuscripts for Publication"
SHALL INDEED OCCUR
and shall welcome Ms. CYNTHIA HOPKINS, among illustrious OTHERS
on WEDNESDAY, OCT 19, at 8PM
at Galapagos, our gracious hosts
70 North Sixth Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
718-782-5188
A $5 donation shall be requested at the door by Potts, if he's back from China
GQ continues to feature THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE ON PAGES 212-214
and please see above for 700 HOBO NAMES
FOR THOSE IN PHILADELPHIA THIS FRIDAY, OCT 7:
Coulton and Hodgman shall speak on hoboes at the Philadelphia Museum of Art
as part of the 215 Festival
and in between the gypsy songs of Beau Django
THIS FRIDAY, Oct 7, at 5:45-8:15PM
26th & Ben Franklin Parkway, Phila., PA
www.philamuseum.org/events/friday
(museum admission)
LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE NO. 32,
on the subject of "How to Prepare Manuscripts for Publication"
SHALL INDEED OCCUR
and shall welcome Ms. CYNTHIA HOPKINS, among illustrious OTHERS
on WEDNESDAY, OCT 19, at 8PM
at Galapagos, our gracious hosts
70 North Sixth Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
718-782-5188
A $5 donation shall be requested at the door by Potts, if he's back from China
GQ continues to feature THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE ON PAGES 212-214
and please see above for 700 HOBO NAMES
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Good Evening #6 of 20
GOOD EVENING
This is John Hodgman writing via special ELECTRONIC SATURDAY INTERRUPTION SERVICE regarding…
THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE
…a compendium of amazing true facts, historical oddities, and esoteric trivia that are almost exclusively MADE UP, by me, JOHN HODGMAN, a professional writer.
(SEE: [http://www.powells.com/biblio/0525949089 and, weirdly, http://www.skysoft.co.jp/Newskysoft/GetTitleDetail.asp?UserID=29181450&ISBN=0525949089])
Today is SEPETEMBER 24, 2005, and events require that I quickly, and I hope painlessly, burden you with:
……THESE FEW TIMELY ANNOUNCEMENTS…… ……THAT IS ALL……
***
PART ONE: THESE FEW TIMELY ANNOUNCEMENTS
1 ……THIS WEEKEND, the radio program “THIS AMERICAN LIFE” broadcasts episode number 298, on “Getting and Spending,” which includes a complete reading of that section of my book known as SECRETS OF THE MALL OF AMERICA.
NYC AREA LISTENERS may hear this episode by setting their radios to FREQUENCY MODULATION 93.9 (WNYC) tomorrow (Sunday) evening at 6PM.
LISTENERS in other parts of the country may go to www.thislife.org to find out broadcast times for their locales and/or investigate “podcast” options.
THEY WILL ALSO HEAR in this episode: the very fine work of Alex Kotlowitz and radio producer Diane Cook.
AS USUAL, the AMPLITUDE MODULATION listeners have already got the dope, having received this broadcast THIS MORNING at 11AM. To the amplitude modulationists, as always, I say: BRAVO.
2 ……ON TUESDAY, September 27, as previously mentioned here, I have been asked to speak at THE JONATHAN AMES SHOW, a new showcase hosted by Jonathan Ames which each week shall welcome A MAGICIAN, A WRITER, A COMEDIAN, AND A MUSICIAN. (SEE: www.jonathanames.com).
IN THIS CASE, I am passing myself off as THE WRITER. Specifically, I will speak on the subject OF LOBSTERS, and Jonathan Coulton will join me.
This will occur at MO PITKIN’S, 34 Avenue A, in New York City, at 8:30 PM, and tickets will cost $12. They may be ordered electronically here (SEE: http://www.ticketweb.com/user?region=nyc&query=schedule&venue=upmo)
3 ……AND THROUGHOUT THE COMING MONTH, a selection of items from my book shall appear in the OCTOBER issue of GQ MAGAZINE (cover subject=Cameron Diaz).
THIS EXCERPT includes information on UNFORTUNATE HAIRCUTS, WHAT TO TIP IN GRAND HOTELS, PROHIBITION ERA EUPHEMISMS FOR ALCOHOL, and CANE SWORDS, and is designed to be CLIPPED n’ SAVED.
(PLEASE, PLEASE note the dashed “Clip n’ Save” line along the inside edge of the pages, which might be easy to miss, and yet reveals the ASTONISHING TROUBLE GQ went through in order to take this material seriously. Whatever the wisdom of this action, I am grateful).
THE EXCERPT BEGINS on page 212 of the magazine. Astute readers of previous deranged e-mails will note that if you take the “1” out, you are left with the number “22.”
YOU, I TRUST, OF ALL PEOPLE, WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS.
4 ……THE NEXT LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE, No. 32, on the subject of “HOW TO PREPARE MANUSCRIPTS FOR PUBLICATION” shall occur at Galapagos on October 19 at 8PM.
MORE DETAILS ON THIS SUBJECT SHALL FOLLOW.
***
PART TWO: THAT IS ALL
This special ELECTRONIC SATURDAY INTERRUPTION shall constitute the entirety of update #6 of 20 regarding THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE,
…a book to be published by Dutton on October 24, 2005, and which shall be for sale via bookstores and computer networks October 20, 2005.
As always QUESTIONS COMMENTS AND CONCERNS on this or any subject may be posed to Hodgman@littlegraybooks.com.
PLEASE DO NOT CALL DUTTON WITH YOUR QUESTIONS ABOUT HOBOES.
If you wish to be removed from this mailing list, simply respond to this address and include the word “NO MORE, PLEASE NO MORE” in your reply.
The final mailing on this subject will be made January 2, 2006.
THAT IS ALL.
This is John Hodgman writing via special ELECTRONIC SATURDAY INTERRUPTION SERVICE regarding…
THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE
…a compendium of amazing true facts, historical oddities, and esoteric trivia that are almost exclusively MADE UP, by me, JOHN HODGMAN, a professional writer.
(SEE: [http://www.powells.com/biblio/0525949089 and, weirdly, http://www.skysoft.co.jp/Newskysoft/GetTitleDetail.asp?UserID=29181450&ISBN=0525949089])
Today is SEPETEMBER 24, 2005, and events require that I quickly, and I hope painlessly, burden you with:
……THESE FEW TIMELY ANNOUNCEMENTS…… ……THAT IS ALL……
***
PART ONE: THESE FEW TIMELY ANNOUNCEMENTS
1 ……THIS WEEKEND, the radio program “THIS AMERICAN LIFE” broadcasts episode number 298, on “Getting and Spending,” which includes a complete reading of that section of my book known as SECRETS OF THE MALL OF AMERICA.
NYC AREA LISTENERS may hear this episode by setting their radios to FREQUENCY MODULATION 93.9 (WNYC) tomorrow (Sunday) evening at 6PM.
LISTENERS in other parts of the country may go to www.thislife.org to find out broadcast times for their locales and/or investigate “podcast” options.
THEY WILL ALSO HEAR in this episode: the very fine work of Alex Kotlowitz and radio producer Diane Cook.
AS USUAL, the AMPLITUDE MODULATION listeners have already got the dope, having received this broadcast THIS MORNING at 11AM. To the amplitude modulationists, as always, I say: BRAVO.
2 ……ON TUESDAY, September 27, as previously mentioned here, I have been asked to speak at THE JONATHAN AMES SHOW, a new showcase hosted by Jonathan Ames which each week shall welcome A MAGICIAN, A WRITER, A COMEDIAN, AND A MUSICIAN. (SEE: www.jonathanames.com).
IN THIS CASE, I am passing myself off as THE WRITER. Specifically, I will speak on the subject OF LOBSTERS, and Jonathan Coulton will join me.
This will occur at MO PITKIN’S, 34 Avenue A, in New York City, at 8:30 PM, and tickets will cost $12. They may be ordered electronically here (SEE: http://www.ticketweb.com/user?region=nyc&query=schedule&venue=upmo)
3 ……AND THROUGHOUT THE COMING MONTH, a selection of items from my book shall appear in the OCTOBER issue of GQ MAGAZINE (cover subject=Cameron Diaz).
THIS EXCERPT includes information on UNFORTUNATE HAIRCUTS, WHAT TO TIP IN GRAND HOTELS, PROHIBITION ERA EUPHEMISMS FOR ALCOHOL, and CANE SWORDS, and is designed to be CLIPPED n’ SAVED.
(PLEASE, PLEASE note the dashed “Clip n’ Save” line along the inside edge of the pages, which might be easy to miss, and yet reveals the ASTONISHING TROUBLE GQ went through in order to take this material seriously. Whatever the wisdom of this action, I am grateful).
THE EXCERPT BEGINS on page 212 of the magazine. Astute readers of previous deranged e-mails will note that if you take the “1” out, you are left with the number “22.”
YOU, I TRUST, OF ALL PEOPLE, WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS.
4 ……THE NEXT LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE, No. 32, on the subject of “HOW TO PREPARE MANUSCRIPTS FOR PUBLICATION” shall occur at Galapagos on October 19 at 8PM.
MORE DETAILS ON THIS SUBJECT SHALL FOLLOW.
***
PART TWO: THAT IS ALL
This special ELECTRONIC SATURDAY INTERRUPTION shall constitute the entirety of update #6 of 20 regarding THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE,
…a book to be published by Dutton on October 24, 2005, and which shall be for sale via bookstores and computer networks October 20, 2005.
As always QUESTIONS COMMENTS AND CONCERNS on this or any subject may be posed to Hodgman@littlegraybooks.com.
PLEASE DO NOT CALL DUTTON WITH YOUR QUESTIONS ABOUT HOBOES.
If you wish to be removed from this mailing list, simply respond to this address and include the word “NO MORE, PLEASE NO MORE” in your reply.
The final mailing on this subject will be made January 2, 2006.
THAT IS ALL.
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