Thursday, August 23, 2007
BLACK SQUIRREL INVASION
A DISPATCH FROM THE FRONT LINES of the black squirrel invasion that apparently was WRITTEN BY A CAT.
THIS DOES NOT BODE WELL.
That is all.
POST SCRIPT: I must second the cat's fondness for this CANADIAN SONG celebrating "Vicky," the black squirrel of Victoria Park, London, Ontario, CANADA.
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There are lots and lots of black squirrels here in Toronto. I once saw one catch and eat a small bird; I don't know who was shocked more.
I'm newish to Toronto and the black squirrels freak me right out.
Last fall, they tried to eat through my back door, and nearly succeeded. This summer, they've chewed through my kitchen window screen TWICE, and the second time broke into a box of cocoa and got chocolate all over my kitchen.
How did you know the squirrels were black? Or are you just a squirrel bigot?
That is all.
I espied a black squirrel in Acton, Massachusetts before I knew such a thing even existed. Very off-putting. Then I saw another, and another...
Now they visit me in my dark moments.
We have different squirrels here.
I sense a war coming...
two words: holy shit.
wait, three more: hide the children.
scary black bird-eating squirrels??? Good God Almighty!
I kinda like the look of the black squirrels and the white squirrels. They look more intelligent than the common brown squirrels we have in Colorado. Ours like to run across 6 lanes of highway. I believe it's an initiation process for the "Fuzzy Butt Gang" run by the infamous "Fuzzy One Tooth".
When I lived in Boulder, CO I used to see these guys in the mountains. They almost made me wreck my car I'd turn my head so hard to see them!
Yes, it's true! I'm a cat. But I have a human amanuensis who posts these things for me.
I never would have suspected that so many humans were interested in black squirrels. For a further update, check out the next edition of the Carnival of Satire. Don't know what that is? Oh, just goggle it.
Via the underrated Adult Swim Classic, Sealab 2021, I give you "marking" and it's racial undertones. It should be noted that Stormy and Sparks are white, Marco is Hispanic, and Quinn is black, and that they are trying to distinguish between the two Debbies aboard the sea-lab:
MARCO: Huh? No no no no, no, the other Debbie. Debbie the teacher?
STORMY: Oh, you mean... (whispering) Black Debbie.
SPARKS: Whoa whoa whoa whoa, why is she "Black Debbie?"
STORMY: No, not in a bad way. It's just to tell them apart because she's... black.
SPARKS: Well, why don't you call her Debbie, and the other one (whispering) "White
STORMY: "White Debbie?" Heh, that's stupid! I know she's white.
MARCO: Then why do you call the other Debbie "Black Debbie?" You know she's black.
STORMY: Hey, first off, I really don't think we should be talking about this (whispering)
in front of Dr. Quinn.
Pan right to reveal that Quinn is standing right near the group.
QUINN: Ha ha ha, listen, man, you're missing the point. What if everyone went around calling you "White Stormy?"
STORMY: Y-you mean there's a... black Stormy?
QUINN: ... No.
Black squirrels do not move everywhere. They have been in Holland, MI for years and years (multiplied by years), but have not yet migrated into Grand Rapids, MI, which is about a 40 minute drive on the highway, close enough for a squirrel to hitch a ride and start a new life.
Black squirrels also seem to be fairly common in Holland, MI, which made me think they just like the Dutch a lot.
Believe it or not, there are worse things
Or better things, depending on your point of view.
John, I listened to most of your book last night... primarily without stopping... and must say that yours is now the voice of my dreams. And my conscience.
I'm pretty sure the preferred spelling is "Viky" -- but I might be wrong.
ACTUALLY, as the squirrel in question is presumably named for Victoria Park, I believe it should be spelled...
That is all.
I guess I have no choice other than to defer to your freaky logic.
Speaking of which, white squirrels are VERY lucky.
Blacks squirrels seem to be the norm
in urban south Ontario; they're legion in Barrie anyways. Chipmunks seem to be more common in rural areas, so it doesn't seem like there will be much resistance to the invasion.
We have a white squirrel here in claremont new hampshire. He comes to the feeder quite often and does have a big nest in our back yard. we have pictures of him looking in our window. My cats sit inside and watch all the squirrels.
we have a white albino squirrel here in Claremont New Hampshire. He eats out of the feeder with the gray squirrels and has a big nest in our back yard.
I LIVE IN BONCARBO, CO, WE SEEN HAVE BLACK SQUIRRELS IN THE AREA. ARE THESE COMMON TO THIS PART OF COLORADO?
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