HALL OF FAME OF PORK

I KEEP LOOKING at the headline for these posts from Adam Sachs's "blog," and I keep thinking that Adam is now writing about wasteful, patronage spending in congress.

BUT NO. He is writing about PORK.

That is all.

VOTE HOOK II

APART FROM the other contest in Oregon tomorrow, I trust you will not forget my early fascination with, and after seeing the ad below, my UTTER FONDNESS for

STEVE NOVICK, a hook-hand away from the presidency.



THAT IS ALL.

NOTES FROM MY COPYEDITOR PART 1

RACHELLE MANDIK writes in the margins:

"Websters says 'bloodred' is one word, but I'll be damned if I'll go that far. Hyphen OK?"

ANSWER: OK!

That is all.

NOW I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE TO GET SOME WORK DONE

HONESTLY? How is this fun for any of us?

That is all.

TWITTER

I THINK I did something bad at twitter.

That is all.

"SELECT ALL"

"TWENTY YEARS AGO WHEN I WANTED TO BE A WRITER? A big part of the dream was being able to put little videos on the internet."



The great and lovely and smart and funny DENNIS CASS promotes his paperback edition of HEAD CASE.

If you support greatness, loveliness, smartness, and funniness, YOU SHOULD BUY IT.

AND I'M NOT JUST SAYING SO because, long ago, when I really needed it, Cass took me to lunch at the North Food Court at the Mall of America.

THAT IS ALL.

QUATCHI

I CAN UNDERSTAND how I might forget that Vancouver will be the site of the Winter Olympics (a sporting event) in 2010.

BUT TO FORGET that its mascot is a Sasquatch? SHAME ON ME.

ACTUALLY, "QUATCHI" is one of three mascots for the Vancouver Olympics, all of which are either MYTHOLOGICAL or CRYPTOZOOLOGICAL, because

CANADA IS PERFECT.

That is all.

(AND, PLUS: even the mascots have a mascot. FINALLY)

I AM IN CANADA

AND SO I WILL be blogging less than my usual pathetic output.

BUT THIS TIME, I have an excuse:

CANADA!

That is all.

RICKY GERVAIS SHAMES ME INTO UPDATING MY BLOG

NOT ONLY MY BLOG, but his.

WHAT MAD POWER does he wield over us all?

That is all.

ALL TWITTER FRIDAY

NO BLOG: MICRO BLOG.

See you Monday.

That is all.

A-LAD KEEPS IT ROLLING

H in sunrays
Originally uploaded by Ape Lad.

AND HE DESTROYS a keyboard doing so.

That is all.

I GUESS ON SOME LEVEL I KNEW

I GUESS ON SOME LEVEL I KNEW that my posting below on the word "tharn" got 37 comments,

BY FAR A RECORD,

BUT I GUESS I needed to see them all laid out in front of me for me to really grasp it.

THANK YOU

That is all.

SACHS IS NOW POSTING TWICE A DAY

FOR SERIOUS.

HE MUST HAVE only had 87 whiskeys this morning.

THAT IS ALL

WHILE SEEKING IMAGES OF GENE RAYBURN FALLING DOWN...

I CAME ACROSS this remarkable collection of SMOKING ON NATIONALLY SYNDICATED TELEVISION.

I RECALL the first time I saw Ed Asner light up on a Match Game rerun. It was like staring into an alternate dimension.

ALSO: REALLY, Alex Karras? Were you not supposedly an ATHLETE?

I ALSO ESPECIALLY ENJOY: Skip Stephenson's blue jumpsuit.

(OH: if any of you are wondering, I am extremely heartened by last night's POLITICAL RESULTS; but I feel we have been here twice before....)

That is all.

SACHS IS WATCHING SHIHAB

SINCE WE MET HIM IN LONDON 17(!) years ago, I have not kept in touch with Shihab the way Mr. Sachs has.

AS YOU CAN OBVIOUSLY TELL WHEN YOU VIEW this obsessive photo gallery.

YET I LOVE THEM BOTH.

That is all.

JUST TAKING A QUICK CULTURAL TEMPERATURE CHECK

HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW what "tharn" means?

That is all.

SACHS AND I ARE IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION

...BUT EVEN SO, I am still able to update my blog .

UNLIKE ONE PERSON I KNOW.

That is all.

PHOTO COURTESY: "Meow Meow" Kays.

HELLO RICKY GERVAIS BLOG READERS

MY NAME IS JOHN HODGMAN, and you have reached my blog.

I DO NOT know why the famous actor Ricky Gervais is claiming that I wrote something for his blog about his upcoming movie about LYING.

I WOULD NEVER associate with such a person.

ALSO: his accent is obviously fake.

AND I WAS NEVER HERE.

That is all.

EMILY FLAKE FOR THE VICTORY

APPARENTLY the great FLAKE won a Prism award for her fantastic book of cigarette cartoons entitled THESE THINGS AIN'T GONNA SMOKE THEMSELVES.

THE CATEGORY in which she won: best "accurate depiction of drug, alcohol, or tobacco use in a comic book story line"

Here is the winner now.

HOORAY

That is all.

TONIGHT, I AM ON THE WEST COAST

...SO IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO SAY:

"First of May, First of May/
Outdoor Fucking Starts Today."

That is all.