I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE: Heaven's Gate, the sequel...
That is all.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
PURSUANT TO BRASS EYE
THIS WILL MAKE SENSE if you do what I tell you to do below.
Courtesy Status Frustration for the photo, and Dennis DiClaudio for the original tip off to Jesse.
That is all.
Courtesy Status Frustration for the photo, and Dennis DiClaudio for the original tip off to Jesse.
That is all.
"THESE VAST CAT HEADS WERE BUILT UNDERGROUND, AND SEEN BY NO ONE"
FURTHER CRITICAL CULTURAL PRODUCT REVEALED TODAY ON YOUR "WORLD WIDE INTERNET":
BrassEye
JESSE THORN discovers a hidden internettal cache of one of the least-seen (in the US) and yet most important and influential comedy "programmes" ever to be released in the UK.
WHAT'S MORE, someone has gone through the incredible trouble of DUBBING IT ALL INTO ENGLISH.
I tell you: SOME PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS.
That is all.
BrassEye
JESSE THORN discovers a hidden internettal cache of one of the least-seen (in the US) and yet most important and influential comedy "programmes" ever to be released in the UK.
WHAT'S MORE, someone has gone through the incredible trouble of DUBBING IT ALL INTO ENGLISH.
I tell you: SOME PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS.
That is all.
BEARMAN, SNOWMAN, AND JACK KIRBY
DO NOT DELAY, go and read the latest BEARMAN DISPATCH in Wired, which deals with the Iranian hostage crisis, a fake science fiction film, and yes, the King, and prepare to have your brain bent in amazed delight ONCE MORE.
IF YOU DO NOT KNOW JOSHUAH BEARMAN, here is what you should know...
HE SPELLS HIS NAME with a redundant H.
HE WRITES AND BLOGS from LA, weekly.
HE IS AN ACE lecturer on the subject of Sasquatch and giant chinese Prairie Dogs (Bearman begins about halfway through the program, though by all means LISTEN TO THE WHOLE THING).
HE IS THE WORLD'S PRIMARY RESEARCHER on the fight to get the competitive classic arcade game circuit, which research has led to the new documentary KING OF KONG.
HE IS THE AUTHOR OF THE VERY FINEST "True Life Tale" that we never published (for the full story, go here. Again, Bearman begins halfway through the program that you should LISTEN TO IN ITS ENTIRETY).
and
HE IS A SUPER GENIUS WHO MUST BE HEARD
That is all.
(Courtesy Arthur Jones at the Post-It Note Reading Series for the snowman illustration, and the very talented, very, very patient Kevin Guilfoile for the "True Life Tale" linked above).
IF YOU DO NOT KNOW JOSHUAH BEARMAN, here is what you should know...
HE SPELLS HIS NAME with a redundant H.
HE WRITES AND BLOGS from LA, weekly.
HE IS AN ACE lecturer on the subject of Sasquatch and giant chinese Prairie Dogs (Bearman begins about halfway through the program, though by all means LISTEN TO THE WHOLE THING).
HE IS THE WORLD'S PRIMARY RESEARCHER on the fight to get the competitive classic arcade game circuit, which research has led to the new documentary KING OF KONG.
HE IS THE AUTHOR OF THE VERY FINEST "True Life Tale" that we never published (for the full story, go here. Again, Bearman begins halfway through the program that you should LISTEN TO IN ITS ENTIRETY).
and
HE IS A SUPER GENIUS WHO MUST BE HEARD
That is all.
(Courtesy Arthur Jones at the Post-It Note Reading Series for the snowman illustration, and the very talented, very, very patient Kevin Guilfoile for the "True Life Tale" linked above).
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
"TWO WORDS: NUDIE PICS"
...OR THUS SPAKE "PUNKIN" in response to my request for how to finally close my MYSPACE account.
OTHER SUGGESTIONS, ranging from the ingenious to the plain wily, INCLUDED:
--BEING MEAN TO TOM (Annje).
A fine idea, but surely there is nothing I can say to TOM that he hasn't already heard a 1000 times more meanly, and in 1337 no less?
--POSTING EXCERPTS OF MY OWN BOOK on my myspace and then complaining about copyright infringement (Chris).
Also very clever, but unfortunately this would not constitute "copyright infringement" but instead would merely cause the universe to collapse upon itself.
--POSTING A DAILY SHOW VIDEO on my myspace page and waiting for Viacom to sue me (hobogirl).
As much as I love a lawsuit, hobogirl's plan has one fatal flaw: judging from youtube, NO SUCH VIDEOS EXIST!
--SPAMMING PEOPLE (meredith).
Sorry. Already taken care of.
--NUDIE PICS (punkin)
While this would certainly handle the problem ably, I really could not bring myself to do this. The worst I think I could do would be to post obscure sexual euphemisms. Such as "handling the roblem ably." RIBALD!
--I SHOULD BECOME SOMEONE ELSE (ct pope).
No good. Frankly, I am barely the person I am.
--EVERYONE ELSE FLAGGING MY PICTURE AS INAPPROPRIATE (cpt joy)
Captain Joy tried this, and myspace offered to report me as a sex offender. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS.
--AND FINALLY, this recipe from gg:
"I turned the background and text the same bright color red (#FF0000), renamed it "FUCK", added 10 blog entries of Misfits lyrics ("I got something to say / I killed your baby today / And it doesn't matter much to me / As long as its dead") and embedded every stolen clip from FOX networks I could find. For a user avatar, I went to 4chan - /b/, of course - and asked nicely for the worst picture that wonderful community could provide."
GG REPORTS that his/her site was removed within an hour.
BEFORE I UNDERTAKE THIS COURSE OF ACTION, HOWEVER, I suppose I will first resort to the measure which is more in tune with my own timid heart:
THE STRONGLY WORDED LETTER.
I shall keep you posted of my progress as I go forward, with the caveat that
a) MY PROGRESS SHALL BE SLOW
because
b) I DO NOT REALLY CARE ALL THAT MUCH.
Thank you for your help, and
THAT IS ALL
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
HOW INCREDIBLY CHILLING AND INCREDIBLY DORKY IT WAS AT THE SAME TIME
MIKE DAISEY'S REPORT on his conversation with the man who tried to vince the INVINCIBLE SUMMER begins this way...
"It has been an intense few days, and I would like to thank the thousands of people who have sent me emails, which have been overwhelmingly positive and supportive. They've come from everywhere, and in an age when we often seem terribly divided, especially in this country, it really means a great deal. Though now I will be answering email well into 2010, things could be much worse--when you let something explosive loose on the internet you can never predict how it will all go down. As of now I'm glad that I posted the video. I think it captures what it was really like in that theatre, and how incredibly chilling and incredibly dorky it was at the same time."
...AND CONTINUES here.
MEANWHILE, GEOFF EDGERS, ace reporter for the Boston Globe and, via coincidence and age-old Brookline conspiracy, AN OLD HIGH SCHOOL CHUM OF THIS WRITER, has also spoken to representatives of Norco High School.
I WILL NOW STOP MY MEDDLING, but to say:
THAT IS ALL.
"It has been an intense few days, and I would like to thank the thousands of people who have sent me emails, which have been overwhelmingly positive and supportive. They've come from everywhere, and in an age when we often seem terribly divided, especially in this country, it really means a great deal. Though now I will be answering email well into 2010, things could be much worse--when you let something explosive loose on the internet you can never predict how it will all go down. As of now I'm glad that I posted the video. I think it captures what it was really like in that theatre, and how incredibly chilling and incredibly dorky it was at the same time."
...AND CONTINUES here.
MEANWHILE, GEOFF EDGERS, ace reporter for the Boston Globe and, via coincidence and age-old Brookline conspiracy, AN OLD HIGH SCHOOL CHUM OF THIS WRITER, has also spoken to representatives of Norco High School.
I WILL NOW STOP MY MEDDLING, but to say:
THAT IS ALL.
REPOST: A SMALL CORRECTION TO THE RECORD
THERE WAS SOME CONFUSION EARLIER regarding this event at the PEN World Voices festival, mainly regarding the (flattering) idea that I would be taking part in it.
AS LOVELY AND INTIMIDATING as that would be, the current PEN American Center website is correct: it is not I, but the very excellent JONATHAN AMES who will be appearing with Gaiman, Iyer, and Lalami at an event THIS THURSDAY, APRIL 26...
...which IS NOT TO BE MISSED.
AND INDEED, PLEASE PERUSE the entire festival schedule, which does include one event I am taking part in, albeit a small one.
Sorry for the confusion.
THAT IS ALL.
Except for this small post-script--
ATTENTION MAWRTERS: In linking to Neil Gaiman's journal I noted that this Tuesday, April 24 he will also be doing a reading at Bryn Mawr College in Eponymous, PA.
NOW THAT WILL BE ONE WILD SCENE, believe me.
That is really all.
A CLARIFICATION, AND AN APOLOGY
GOOD MORNING.
AS PER my corrected post re: Mike Daisey's show, the Boston Globe is reporting that the people who walked out on Mike Daisey's performance of INVINCIBLE SUMMER last Thursday in Cambridge consisted of "87 students and staff visiting Thursday from Norco High School in Southern California, [who] objected to Daisey's dirty language."
SINCE AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, Norco High School is a public, non-religious high school, and as of this writing, I have no way of knowing the particular religious leanings of each individual in the group (or lack thereof), I've decided to strike my reference to "so-called Christians" in my previous post.
I APOLOGIZE for identifying the group this way. I had been under the impression that the group had actually proclaimed itself as "Christian," and this was part of the motive for their actions. Otherwise, I would never have mentioned of their religion, as it is irrelevant and insulting to the observant Christians I happen to know, who would never act in this manner, and indeed whose faith, I believe, would compel them not to.
I DON'T AND WILL LIKELY NEVER KNOW the individual motives of any one of the "students and staff" who walked out on Mike (which is their right); but you don't need a religious motive to pour water over a performer's set and notes (which is nobody's right): you simply need to be a loathesome ass.
I ALSO APOLOGIZE to the commenters in that original post. In a commentof my own, I scolded them for what I took to be their skepticism of the story, and that was wrong. There are 1,000 sides to every story, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to know more.
THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE when the story itself is largely so clear, so plain, and so videotaped. Whatever else was going on in the darkened corners of the theater and the audience's hearts that the camera couldn't catch, the single act of the one man (and it does seem to be a man, not a teenager) confronting Mike on stage and willfully vandalizing his work right in front of him is right there in the bright lights: undeniable and auto-damning.
WHILE THAT FELLOW, AT LEAST, owes Mike an apology (and I might argue the school does as well, if he is an employee), I hesitate to call for him to explain his actions. In that one moment of vicious smallness, he explained himself perfectly to youtube and the world.
But otherwise, let me say: CHRISTIANS AND COMMENTERS, I am sorry.
AND MIKE: break your leg tonight, friend.
That is all.
AS PER my corrected post re: Mike Daisey's show, the Boston Globe is reporting that the people who walked out on Mike Daisey's performance of INVINCIBLE SUMMER last Thursday in Cambridge consisted of "87 students and staff visiting Thursday from Norco High School in Southern California, [who] objected to Daisey's dirty language."
SINCE AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, Norco High School is a public, non-religious high school, and as of this writing, I have no way of knowing the particular religious leanings of each individual in the group (or lack thereof), I've decided to strike my reference to "so-called Christians" in my previous post.
I APOLOGIZE for identifying the group this way. I had been under the impression that the group had actually proclaimed itself as "Christian," and this was part of the motive for their actions. Otherwise, I would never have mentioned of their religion, as it is irrelevant and insulting to the observant Christians I happen to know, who would never act in this manner, and indeed whose faith, I believe, would compel them not to.
I DON'T AND WILL LIKELY NEVER KNOW the individual motives of any one of the "students and staff" who walked out on Mike (which is their right); but you don't need a religious motive to pour water over a performer's set and notes (which is nobody's right): you simply need to be a loathesome ass.
I ALSO APOLOGIZE to the commenters in that original post. In a commentof my own, I scolded them for what I took to be their skepticism of the story, and that was wrong. There are 1,000 sides to every story, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to know more.
THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE when the story itself is largely so clear, so plain, and so videotaped. Whatever else was going on in the darkened corners of the theater and the audience's hearts that the camera couldn't catch, the single act of the one man (and it does seem to be a man, not a teenager) confronting Mike on stage and willfully vandalizing his work right in front of him is right there in the bright lights: undeniable and auto-damning.
WHILE THAT FELLOW, AT LEAST, owes Mike an apology (and I might argue the school does as well, if he is an employee), I hesitate to call for him to explain his actions. In that one moment of vicious smallness, he explained himself perfectly to youtube and the world.
But otherwise, let me say: CHRISTIANS AND COMMENTERS, I am sorry.
AND MIKE: break your leg tonight, friend.
That is all.
CHEF "WOOFGANG" VAN PATTEN
APE LAD has apparently tipped off BOING BOING to perhaps the strangest hobo product yet:
DICK VAN PATTEN'S HOBO CHILI FOR DOGS
It is worth clicking through to "CHEF WOOFGANG's" official website to see all four varieties of strangely, unnecessarily ETHNIC-THEMED dog food, including "Irish Stew" and "Chinese Take Out."
EACH LABEL FEATURES A PICTURE OF DICK VAN PATTEN IN REGIONAL-DOG-FOOD-APPROPRIATE-GARB and accompanied by a regionally appropriate dog.
THIS IS ALL TRUE. And you can appreciate how, for someone in my line of work, the actual veracity and non-jokeness of this product is very depressing. IT IS LITERALLY TAKING FOOD FROM MY FAMILY'S MOUTHS--and feeding it to ETHNIC DOGS.
(NB: "Italian Spaghetti with Beef in Meat Sauce" is not yet available, though I LOOK FORWARD TO ITS MEATY REDUNDANCY)
That is all.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
RE: CONFIRMED MIKE DAISEY SIGHTING IN CAMBRIDGE
COURTESY to Jesse Thorn's TSOYA blog for tipping me off to this video of protesters CONFRONTING MIKE DAISEY with H2O the other night in CAMBRIDGE, MA.
(See Below)
WHILE IT IS NOT ALWAYS COMFORTABLE to live in a culture of constant surveillance, it is strangely comfortable to know that the camera points in all directions, and such impromptu acts of cowardice are so quickly drawn squirming into the light.
AND IT IS INSPIRING to me, both as a performer and a human, to see the humor and the grace with which Mike reassures those members of his audience who did not choose to pour water on his notes and regain control of himself and the moment.
UNLESS YOU DO NOT LIKE THE WORD "FUCK," and wish to support Mike Daisey, just go see the show.
THE UNEXPECTED BONUS GIFT IF YOU DO?: Mike is funny and awesome.
That is all.
(See Below)
WHILE IT IS NOT ALWAYS COMFORTABLE to live in a culture of constant surveillance, it is strangely comfortable to know that the camera points in all directions, and such impromptu acts of cowardice are so quickly drawn squirming into the light.
AND IT IS INSPIRING to me, both as a performer and a human, to see the humor and the grace with which Mike reassures those members of his audience who did not choose to pour water on his notes and regain control of himself and the moment.
UNLESS YOU DO NOT LIKE THE WORD "FUCK," and wish to support Mike Daisey, just go see the show.
THE UNEXPECTED BONUS GIFT IF YOU DO?: Mike is funny and awesome.
That is all.
Friday, April 20, 2007
GO APPLAUD MIKE DAISEY
CORRECTION as of 4/24/o7, Please see above for further clarification, and an apology to readers.
LAST NIGHT, Mike Daisey, one of our most renowned monologists on the subjects of amazon.com, the history of Monopoly, Tesla coils, and snowmobiles, found his latest work, INVINCIBLE SUMMER, hijacked by [STRIKE THIS: a group of 87 water-bearing, so-called Christian, anti-monologue terrorists.] REPLACE WITH: ...what is being reported by the Boston Globe as a group of "students and staff" of "Norco High School in Southern California," one of whom poured water over Mike's desk and notes as he performed.
GO HERE to read the chilling story. And I am not being sarcastic when I write...
CHILLING
INVICIBLE SUMMER continues its run at the ART in Cambridge, MA tonight and through the end of april.
IF YOU LIVE IN THE BOSTON AREA, or know someone who does, please go and see him and listen to his words and applaud him.
AND IF BY SOME CHANCE you are not fond of the work, just leave, quietly.
PLEASE DON'T STORM THE STAGE AND DUMP WATER ALL OVER HIS NOTES.
That is, essentially, the contract between performer and audience that most civilized people observe.
THAT IS ALL.
LAST NIGHT, Mike Daisey, one of our most renowned monologists on the subjects of amazon.com, the history of Monopoly, Tesla coils, and snowmobiles, found his latest work, INVINCIBLE SUMMER, hijacked by [STRIKE THIS: a group of 87 water-bearing, so-called Christian, anti-monologue terrorists.] REPLACE WITH: ...what is being reported by the Boston Globe as a group of "students and staff" of "Norco High School in Southern California," one of whom poured water over Mike's desk and notes as he performed.
GO HERE to read the chilling story. And I am not being sarcastic when I write...
CHILLING
INVICIBLE SUMMER continues its run at the ART in Cambridge, MA tonight and through the end of april.
IF YOU LIVE IN THE BOSTON AREA, or know someone who does, please go and see him and listen to his words and applaud him.
AND IF BY SOME CHANCE you are not fond of the work, just leave, quietly.
PLEASE DON'T STORM THE STAGE AND DUMP WATER ALL OVER HIS NOTES.
That is, essentially, the contract between performer and audience that most civilized people observe.
THAT IS ALL.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
HERE IS A PATIENT, PATIENT PERSON
....WITH MAD TWO-DIAL SKILLS
THANK YOU, etchasketchist.
That is all.
THANK YOU, etchasketchist.
That is all.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
TWO THINGS I MIGHT DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO
FIRST, this photograph from "CRYPTONAUT" of poor COULTON's vandalized, buckskin back. It dates all the way back to North Carolina. DID I BLOG IT BEFORE?
ONLY YOU PEOPLE CAN ANSWER, because I do not know how to work the archives.
SECOND, through some mysterious action unknown to me, the book I wrote is now available for sale from Amazon for close to zero dollars.
(ACTUALLY, FOUR DOLLARS AND 99 CENTS)
TO DATE, the only explanation for this is that they may have come from A DAMAGED SKID, and perhaps themselves may be slightly damaged.
SO CAVEAT EMPTOR
OTHERWISE, enjoy the bargain, should you so choose.
That is all.
ONLY YOU PEOPLE CAN ANSWER, because I do not know how to work the archives.
SECOND, through some mysterious action unknown to me, the book I wrote is now available for sale from Amazon for close to zero dollars.
(ACTUALLY, FOUR DOLLARS AND 99 CENTS)
TO DATE, the only explanation for this is that they may have come from A DAMAGED SKID, and perhaps themselves may be slightly damaged.
SO CAVEAT EMPTOR
OTHERWISE, enjoy the bargain, should you so choose.
That is all.
Friday, April 13, 2007
SAND CIRCLE DESECRATION
Courtesy: "The New Pollution."
But why does UNH have benches surrounding a sand circle?
There is no reason for it.
UNLESS THEY ARE SUMMONING A WORM.
That is all.
But why does UNH have benches surrounding a sand circle?
There is no reason for it.
UNLESS THEY ARE SUMMONING A WORM.
That is all.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
FROM THE SHRINER TEMPLE
EVIDENCE of wander-men infiltrating the den of the fez, as captured by Cpt. Joy.
MYSPACE UPDATE: I have twice followed the procedure to cancel my account, and I have been assured that I would receive an e-mail with further instructions.
DESPITE FREQUENT SWEEPS of my spam folder (classic summer suits are now on sale at Brooks Brothers, apparently, and Canadian Doctor Faith is offering me Valium AT THE LOWEST PRICES), I have yet to receive this e-mail.
ANYONE WITH ADVICE ON HOW TO GET RID OF A MYSPACE PAGE may post it below.
That is all.
MYSPACE UPDATE: I have twice followed the procedure to cancel my account, and I have been assured that I would receive an e-mail with further instructions.
DESPITE FREQUENT SWEEPS of my spam folder (classic summer suits are now on sale at Brooks Brothers, apparently, and Canadian Doctor Faith is offering me Valium AT THE LOWEST PRICES), I have yet to receive this e-mail.
ANYONE WITH ADVICE ON HOW TO GET RID OF A MYSPACE PAGE may post it below.
That is all.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
EOSTURMONATH
BELATEDLY (though not so belatedly, if you lived in the 8th century and thus observed Easter and the Dawn of Spring all month long. Thanks VENERABLE BEDE),
HERE ARE SOME EGGS from Ape-Lad.
PLEASE NOTE: this is not not their natural color.
ALSO NOTE: I am trying, really trying to delete that myspace page. BUT THEY DO NOT MAKE IT EASY.
That is all.
HERE ARE SOME EGGS from Ape-Lad.
PLEASE NOTE: this is not not their natural color.
ALSO NOTE: I am trying, really trying to delete that myspace page. BUT THEY DO NOT MAKE IT EASY.
That is all.
Monday, April 09, 2007
THANK YOU, NEW ORLEANNAISES
FOR SAYING HELLO
AND TO THE CITY ITSELF for reviving my spirits. Karlin and I could not have had a more glorious night day in the city of rolling temps.
PLEASE NOTE the information contained in the flyer attached regarding various appearances in the public school system.
THAT IS ALL.
AND TO THE CITY ITSELF for reviving my spirits. Karlin and I could not have had a more glorious night day in the city of rolling temps.
PLEASE NOTE the information contained in the flyer attached regarding various appearances in the public school system.
THAT IS ALL.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
THE BOXCAR CHILDREN
APELAD, one of our most prolific boxcar children, produces this.
BUT I AM CONFUSED--what is that gray box under the title.
IS APELAD CONCEALING SOME SORT OF LOGO OR OTHER INFORMATION?
That is all.
BUT I AM CONFUSED--what is that gray box under the title.
IS APELAD CONCEALING SOME SORT OF LOGO OR OTHER INFORMATION?
That is all.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
CAPTAIN JOY WAS TOO NICE TO PERMANENTLY DEFACE THE IMAGE OF THESE NICE SHRINERS
STILL, a very fine H in sunrays.
That is all.
That is all.
CAPTAIN JOY WAS TOO NICE TO PERMANENTLY DEFACE THE IMAGE OF THESE NICE SHRINERS
STILL, a very fine H in sunrays.
That is all.
That is all.
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