NOT TO BE SLAVISH

BUT I MUST GO with BoingBoing on this one:



That is all.

I WILL SOON BE DIALING-UP

I WILL SOON spend a week or so on the dial-up modem, so "posting" to this imitation blog may be EXTRA-SPORADIC for a bit.

PLEASE EVERYONE: have a safe and joyous end to this Gregorian calendar year.

AND THANK YOU ALWAYS: for your kind attention.

That is all for now.

THE GAUNTLET HAS BEEN THROWN DOWN

AND "GAUNTLET" is a bingo.

WON'T YOU PLEASE JOIN US on January 19th at 826NYC in Brooklyn for the upcoming

SCRABBLE FOR CHEATERS?

AT WHICH the renowned and goodhearted tutoring center/superhero supply company hosts a SCRABBLE COMPETITION featuring many teams, including one composed of:

1) ME
2) the foreigner, JOHN OLIVER

THE CHEATING PART can be explained thusly: in order to raise money for the 826NYC organization (A GOOD CAUSE), you people of the internet and beyond are asked to

BUY "CHEATS" for the team of your choice.

SUCH CHEATS include:

1. Trade out a letter—$25
2. Wheel of Fortune: buy a vowel—$50
3. Flip a letter over and make it blank—$100
4. Add 10 to any letter’s value—$150
5. Add Q, Z, or X to any word, anywhere—$200
6. Passport: play a word in any language—$250
7. Consult the dictionary for one turn—$300
8. Consult the Scrabble word list for one turn—$400
9. Reject another team’s word—$450
10. Invent a word (must have a definition)—$500

NOW, AS JACKIE MCLEOD AND KIERA KNOW, I am normally very strict about the rules of SCRABBLE.

HOWEVER I MAKE AN EXCEPTION IN THIS CASE and urge you to buy some cheats for Oliver so that he can spell words incorrectly like "HONOUR" and "COLOUR" and "GAOL" and "GIRAUFFE" and feel at home, at last.

OR ALTERNATELY, form or join your own team and START GUNNING FOR US.

SO WON'T YOU PLEASE help us cheat?

That is all.

>H<

>H
Originally uploaded by Jef Poskanzer.

GREETINGS JEF Poksanzer...

I AM ALWAYS grateful for photos to post here of...

DRIFTWOOD SCULPTURES
IMITATION DOGS
FISHING SCENES
ILLUMED Hs

AND THIS PHOTO meets all of those requirements.

THAT IS ALL.

A HOLIDAY/JURY DUTY MIRACLE

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO RECALL my Jury Duty sojourn of LAST JUNE,

YOU MAY BE INTERESTED TO KNOW that I recently received an e-mail from "WALTER," the irascible (seriously: HE WAS NOT RASCIBLE) jury pool clerk I admired so much then AND NOW:

(BEGIN quoted text)

"Hello and Thanks-

My girlfriend googled my name a while back and your .blog report on jury service came up and she read it and smiled and gave me a kiss-so thanks.

Hope your strike ends soon and you and your fellow workers come out on top or nearer to top than when you started.
take care,walter"

(END quoted text)

FROM WALTER'S ELECTRONIC MOUTH to the writers' and producers' ears.

THAT IS ALL.

I RECUSE MYSELF

I AM NOT ONE TO POST a lot of photos of myself.

BUT WHEN PEOPLE WORK SO HARD to make me look so judge-like, I have to acknowledge their hard work...

HERE ARE MORE interpretations of my painfully-occasional role as "Judge John Hodgman" for the wonderfully-weekly podcast "JORDAN, JESSE, GO!"*

LOOK, LISTEN, and you be the judge.

I TRUST YOUR SENTENCE WILL BE: "awesome."

That is all.


*Notice I added the Oxford Comma.

I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHO AM I?

THE FACT THAT Paul Reubens is considering bringing back the character of P-W Herman in a new movie is welcome news, for I trust you all agree:

PAUL REUBENS IS A NATIONAL TREASURE.

THAT SAID, the beautiful, mind-twisting fact that Pee Wee might be played by Johnny Depp only serves to prove once again:

I AM NOT MAKING UP FAKE FACTS FAST ENOUGH.

That is all.

"EMILY, YOU'RE FAMOUS TOO NOW..."

SORRY TO BE ABSENT, but I have blood and lymph draining from my ear!

(THEY TELL ME the blogs need to be personal, so there is your EAR INFECTION UPDATE of the day. I trust you're happy).

MEANWHILE, due to the intense pain and eardrum-bursting, I missed this, THOUGH I AM SURE YOU DID NOT:

COULTON vs. EMILY in ST. CHICAGO:



WHICH IS ODDER?

THIS, or Coulton being casually name-checked by NEIL GAIMAN?

OR OPTION "C": blood and lymph draining from my left ear?

VOTE NOW.

That is all.

‽

ALAN FROM THE COMMENTS provides an actual interrobang.

SWEET NITPICKING ALAN!

(with actual gratitude)

That is all.

INTERROBANG

DID ANYONE ELSE notice that Anne Helmond's photograph of the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co. from yesterday happens to include A MAN WITH AN EYE-PATCH?

!?

That is all.

AIGA AUCTION THIS SUNDAY, PLUS "POTTS"

SURELY SOME OF YOU HAVE WONDERED, who is the super-genius who designed not only the interior, but also the exterior, of your book, THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE?

WELL, YOU CAN UPDATE THAT WIKIPEDIA page, for the answer is:

The renowned graphic artist SAM POTTS.

MOST OF YOU know him from The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co., in the superhero supply district of Brooklyn, where Sam designed not only the awning but ALL of the original product labels, including BREATHABLE WATER and APPREHENDED BLOB.

SOME OF YOU may even recall Sam from his genial money-taking days at the front of the house at the old Little Gray Book lectures (which will not return this year, but maybe next).

I PERSONALLY recall him from Mr. Koestenbaum's Photo 1 class.

NOW HERE'S the new thing Sam has got me into:

THIS SUNDAY EVENING, at the big AIGA/NY dance party/annual ball, Sam and I will be auctioning off BEAUTIFUL ITEMS OF SIGNIFICANCE.

$20-35 (DEPENDING) gets you the CHANCE to bid on...

!: 2 REJECTED BOOK JACKETS BY CHIP KIDD!

!: A TOUR OF THE PHILIP JOHNSON GLASS HOUSE

!?: A MYSTERIOUS BOX OF MYSTERIES

...among other fascinating artifacts of functional design...

PLUS: the CERTAINTY of dancing and drinking wine in a beautiful room!

ALL PROCEEDS benefit the AIGA, which I am guessing stands for the American Institute of Graphic Artists*, a professional organization which I believe buys nutritious fonts for needy graphic designers**.

ALL DETAILS of the event may be found here.

Perhaps I will see you there?

That is all.

(IMAGE COURTESY: Anne Helmond)

(*I WAS RIGHT! Good symbolic information management in action!)

(**I WAS WRONG!)

MELLIE FROM ATLANTA ASKS...

MELLIE FROM ATLANTA WRITES TO ASK....

"I'm hosting a holiday party for a bunch of my alcoholic friends and I
would love to impress them by serving BRANDY SANGREES which I have
read about on your site and sound quite tasty. I cannot find a recipe for them via google and hope that you can provide this information, or did you make this up?"

WORRY NOT, "Mellie" and her alcoholic friends. The drink mentioned is very real, but unfortunately I wrote it wrong/drunk: it is spelled...

BRANDY SANGAREE

This is but ONE OF MANY "SANGAREES" (including gin and ale), and it dates back to the very first cocktail book of any note, the liquid bible of every fine mixologist, JERRY THOMAS' (sic) BARTENDER'S GUIDE.

MY FIRST GOOGLE turns up this supposedly faithful reprinting: a drink so simple as to be RUDIMENTARY...

(BEGIN quoted text)

BRANDY SANGAREE

(Use medium bar-glass.)
Take ½ teaspoonful of fine white sugar dissolved in a little water.
1 wine-glass of brandy.

Fill the glass one-third full of shaved ice, shake up well, strain into a small glass and dash a little Port wine on top. Serve with a little grated nutmeg.

(END quoted text).

BUT as this recipe comes from the INTERNET and is probably POISONED BY VIRUSES, why not to turn to the source, or the best version available thereof?...

DAVID WONDRICH'S wonderful annotation of the "The Thomas Manuscript," recently and beautifully published under the worthy imperative: IMBIBE!

SURELY THIS MAKES AS FINE A HOLIDAY GIFT as any of the Sangarees--brandy, gin, or ale?

AND SURELY IT MAKES A FINER GIFT than the Dalmatian Blood Sangaree, because WONDRICH is a national treasure and HIS BOOK IS NOT DISGUSTING.

If you have any other HOLIDAY GIFT OR ETIQUETTE questions, I encourage you to send them to me via electronic mail or via the comments.

SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY, PLEASE.

That is all.

THE COMIX EVENT "WRITE-AID" IS ON DECEMBER 11

JUST TO BE CLEAR

That is all.

BE OF GOOD CHEER

Hobo Chrismoose
Originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

HERE IS AN EXTREMELY SHINY wooden moose, courtesy Kodamakitty.

PLUS A HIDDEN MESSAGE.

MEANWHILE, if you live in or near NYC, please add this to your calendar. I cannot attend, alas, but it will be a GOOD SHOW for a WORTHY CAUSE.

(BEGIN quoted text)

WRITE-AID
A COMEDY BENEFIT FOR (STRIKING) WRITERS

ADVANCE TICKETS - $20
DAY OF SHOW TICKETS - $25

Jonesing for your favorite comedy shows? No worries -- Comix has teamed up with the Writers Guild of America, East and assembled an all-star lineup of scribes from your favorite (currently blacked-out) shows!

Join us as Andy Borowitz (CNN, National Public Radio, The New Yorker, creator of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"), Brian Kiley ("Late Night with Conan O'Brien"), Laurie Kilmartin ("The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson"), Bill Scheft ("Late Show with David Letterman"), Brian Stack ("Late Night with Conan O'Brien"), and others put down the picket signs and pick up the mike for a night of "anything goes" comedy.

Portion of proceeds go to WGAE Strike Fund. PLUS, discounted tickets for all WGA members! Simply present your WGA card at the Box Office to receive $5.00 off admission.

COMIX is located at 343 West 14th Street at 9th Avenue.

(END quoted text)

THAT IS ALL.

JONATHAN PARTICIPATED IN THAT ACTIVITY BY THE MUSIC PERSON'S STATUS

NEWSWEEK CHINA profiles "Jonathan Coulton."

HERE'S WHAT BABELFISH HAS TO SAY.

(Begin quoted text)

"Now arrived for a crucial time, we all should self-examine really needs the record company. We are glad with the traditional phonograph record management pattern which rottenly deteriorates to say very much goodbye " * This publication Reporter/Yang Shi? In American Luo river unlined upper garment 矶 Live House, Jonathan Coulton is keeping half long hair, is bringing black frame eyeglasses, he liked is same in the past, is embracing a wooden guitar, alone stood in the stage central committee, above the stage light projects in his top of the head, he started which sang own to create "Re: Your Brain ". The quite practical lyrics describes average person's ordinary life, the lyrics often is causing next piece of understanding laughing, the cheers, the applause, even also has the chorus to resound through the entire audience. But, these music lover understanding and the familiar Jonathan Coulton song certainly is not through the broadcasting station, CD, is not through the order list, but is called Thing a Week through individual website. Jonathan the work which writes oneself puts to the website in. The such independent dissemination music way starts in the music world gradually to increase, not only becomes the music person's new outlet which many not yet becomes famous, even some big sign orchestras also start to bridge over the issuing company, directly on-line sells the song. Does not send CD professional music person Jonathan Coulton this year 36 years old, 3 years ago, he or software engineer which in compiles the code in the check. On high school's time, he was vainly hoping for becomes a 摇滚 star, carries the guitar to tour to the world. Thereupon, started from the high school to write the song his university to choose the music specialty, majored in western music Shi He to compose music. Jonathan to "China Newsweek" reporter said, after the graduation actually because of the livelihood, could not but look for the work which had nothing to do with with the music. But the spare time, he still every day persisted unceasingly writes the song. In 2004, his friend has made a named Little Gray book club, each month, first formulates a subject to invite some writers to write some works again according to the subject, then calls everybody to read aloud. Jonathan participated in that activity by the music person's status, his each month writes a song according to the subject, then the scene sings. After conclusion, he can put on-line the work, but no echo. Until 2005. Because receives the friend to use My Space the inspiration, Jonathan established to be called Thing a Week to broadcast the guest website. When "starts, I on treat as it one kind of experiment. I want to let more people hear to mine song, then tells them again the friend, I very have been happy." Jonathan said. When start, Jonathan still hoped own song finally can sell by the CD form, he even own fill the system phonograph record on-line to sell, but puts in Thing a Week MP3 then completely free. "Along with comes me the website downloading person more and more many, I start to ponder over, such free provides downloading is can to my income influential, but with these not worthy of mentioning pays expenses downloading to compare, can have more people to know my music is more important." Jonathan said, that time he also goes to work in the company, therefore the music income to him said not that is important. Until the fifth song, changed his life path. He used own way to turn sang Sir Mix-a-Lot Hip the Hop famous tune "Baby Got Back". With his analogy, this first song "has become on a Internet virus". Jonathan starts to attempt in own broadcasts in the guest website to sell the song, because of that song influence, a his month through paid expenses downloads MP3 to gain more than 4,000 Dollar. Sells the way very is also out of the ordinary, he does not force opposite party to purchase, but is with one kind is called "pick your price" (you to fix a price) the way. According to the Jonathan statistics, these pay expenses downloading music lover equally each first songfest to pay about 1 US dollar. Moreover 90% music lovers all are willing to pay expenses. "I knew that, the people always are willing to be able first to hear to the music again decision are worth paying money, why is this I all puts my all songs to on-line lets the reason which the people chooses at will." Jonathan said. After opens Thing a a Week website year, he resigned from the computer company's position to become a professional music person, Jonathan said that, "I finally could depend on the music to gain the foot I daughter's nursemaid money."

(End quoted text)

THAT IS ALL.

COULTONES

The pie-in-the-window-on-the-pie would have been too paradoxical.
Originally uploaded by Jessica Donohoe.

ARE YOU A PERSON who lives in Minneapolis, Madison, Chicago, AND St. Louis?

Well then, JETSETTER, you are someone who might profit by this

QUICK DISPATCH featuring

DATES AND TIMES at which

JONATHAN COULTON shall be singing and, when not singing, speaking.

LOOK: I don't have time to key in all the urls...

(WHY? I am trying to write a BOOK)

FOR FURTHER DETAILS, look here.

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT:

Winding down this year with a quick trip to the midwest for a few
dates, all with Paul and Storm.

Thursday December 6 at 8 PM
Varsity Theater in Minneapolis, MN
Venue: http://www.varsitytheater.org/
Tickets: http://tinyurl.com/33ez3s

Friday December 7 at 7:30 PM
Majestic Theater in Madison, WI
Venue: http://majesticmadison.com/
Tickets: http://tinyurl.com/2lzhlm

*****TWO SHOWS*******
Saturday December 8 at 7:30 PM and 10:30 PM
Schuba's Tavern in Chicago, IL
Venue: http://www.schubas.com/
Tickets: http://www.schubas.com/tickets.aspx (scroll down)

Sunday December 9 at 8 PM
Blueberry Hill in St. Louis, MO
Venue: http://www.blueberryhill.com/
Tickets: http://tinyurl.com/2n854r

END QUOTED TEXT

Meantimes: ENJOY THIS CLASSIC HOLIDAY PHOTO, courtesy: DONOHOE.

That is all.

"THE LIFE OF THE CARTOONIST WAS TO BE ENVIED INDEED..."

I SURE DO ENVY the Ape-Lad and his Indonesian shadowpuppet grandpa.

HERE'S MORE FROM BOINGBOING tv on the subject of the "Laughing Out Loud Cats," including a rare cameo from the infamous blogger...

FAKE JIM DAVIS...



I ENCOURAGE YOU TO BUY OLDE TIMEY CAT PICTURES and fan club memberships from Koford as perfect stocking stuffers.*

BUT I GOT DIBS on all Walrus Scrimshaw he may undertake this holiday season

THAT IS ALL.

*(But do not buy them for your cats. THEY WON'T APPRECIATE IT.)

JUST BECAUSE I'M ON STRIKE

...DOES NOT MEAN that Kasper Hauser has ceased creating fake Craigslist entries.

READ THEM or perish.

That is all.

I AM ON STRIKE

IT MAY SEEM SOMEWHAT UNSEEMLY to link to a video of me flitting around in my socks at the Chateau Marmont writing mole-man names while my colleagues are sitting and standing outside doing things of worth and meaning...

LIKE THIS:



JUST TO BE CLEAR, the BoingBoing footage was shot some time ago, in brighter days. While the WGA strike does not apply my book "writing" or computer advertising activities, I am a member of the WGA and I am indeed on strike.

AND JUST TO BE CLEAR, I miss those people in the video as much as you do.

AND AS I TRUST IT IS VERY CLEAR, they miss entertaining you.

LEARN MORE IN THE EAST and IN THE WEST

THAT IS ALL.

BOING

HELLO internet friends:

http://tv.boingboing.net/2007/11/16/john-hodgmans-mole-m.html

THAT IS ALL