ROBO NEWZ-UP TO THE MINUTE

h in sunrays
Originally uploaded by Ape Lad.

Ape-Lad has risked arrest to bring you several h-in-sunrays chalkings from Walt Disney World.

One might say he even risked the dreaded fate of "mouse arrest."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

That was rich.

Also: don't forget that tonight, at 7PM, Coulton and I will be at the Mark Twain House in Hartford, CT, presenting a special OVERLONG PROGRAM to justify your very kind entrance fee of thirty dollars (25 if you are a member).

Here is a small preview of what you will see.

That is all.

PS: If only Mr. A. Lad had been able to visit Club 33 with his chalk. Perhaps in a next life I will be so fortunate. For now, I have more good fortune than I can bear.

H IN HALF-RAYS

H in half sunrays
Originally uploaded by Ape Lad.

Ape-Lad asks the eternal question: WAS CARL HOLMES A HOBO?

"...Or perhaps half a hobo? This evidence from the Walter Foster Art Book "ABC of Lettering" by Carl Holmes, suggests he toyed with the idea."

To answer a question from the comments, you may add your found h-in-sunrays here: http://www.flickr.com/groups/hoboes/

THE EAGLE-EYED ED PAGE

AKA--A TOUR UPDATE.

As you may know, COULTON and I will soon be visiting many American cities.

I am sorry Canadians: no visits to your frozen lands this time. But feel free to take advantage of our loose border restrictions and caravan south to see us.

Meanwhile, Ed Page, of www.mcsweeneys.net and many fine illustrations, made a few corrections to the tour details when he posted them, kindly, as noted below:

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT

John:

I don't mean to nitpick; I just thought you might want to correct these minor errors:

1. MILWAUKEE: I believe the street address is "2262 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.," not "2262 Kinnicinnick Ave." Note the compass direction and the spelling of "Kinnickinnic." Also, "Bay View" appears to be two words, not just one, as you have it ("Bayview").

2. MINNEAPOLIS: The event starts at 8 p.m., not 7 p.m. (Not that it matters, but lest it cause confusion: I chose to call this your "ST. PAUL" show. Also, tickets are $15 and are available for purchase at this address.

3. RICHMOND: The street address is "1317 W. Cary St.," not "1317 Cary Street." Note the compass direction. I realize this is probably a rather insignificant point, but there does exist, I think, a possibility (and a remote one at that, I grant you) that for Hodgman fans who for whatever reason are not familiar with the streets of Richmond, having that "W." there may save a wisp of confusion. (Perhaps you removed the "W." as a subtle political statement. In which case, fuck yeah, bro!)

Sorry for being so quibblingly anal. Now you know why I'm a copy editor.

Ed

END QUOTED TEXT.

Additionally:

A) there is one special date we all forgot to mention in CHICAGO, a city that some believe exists:

Monday, October 2
THE SECOND CITY, CHICAGO
1616 North Wells Street
Chicago, IL 60614
7PM
BOOKS WILL BE SOLD HERE BY THE GREAT QUIMBY.

B)

Our event at the Mark Twain House of Hartford, CT on Sept 26 is ALSO NOT FREE. It costs $30 for non-members, $25 dollars for members. Proceeds go to help runaways on rafts. You do not get a discount if you dress up as Mark Twain. It's time for you to get over that.

Please always check here for refinements to this schedule, and thank you.

THAT IS ALL.

NOT WITH THAT PULSE TRAIN THEY AREN'T

White board H in sunrays
Originally uploaded by Drhaggis.

Thank you, Haggis.

AND WAIT... PLUS...

They have the nerve to play up the "green" angle of their homes, when in fact, everyone knows that a freestanding frame house is a heat and wind sieve compared to the energy efficiency of a home beneath the earth.

It makes you wonder why we went to all the trouble to destroy the damn ring in the first place.

That is all.

ZERO ROUND DOORS, ZERO SOD ROOFS

Because of the eagle eyes of Neil Gaiman, I am forced to make one last post before I leave today, and that is to draw attention to this.

I think if you are going to call your planned community "The Shire" and kit it all out to look like a fantasy village, you better be prepared to build some damn homes underground.

This is frankly infuriating. Especially since this "Shire" is in Oregon, where I happen to know that people not only **want** to live under the ground, they often do.

I am too angry to write more.

That is all.

THE PENALTY FOR CHEATERS

jail bird
Originally uploaded by Ape Lad.

I will be in another hemisphere. Expect upside down posting to begin on Monday

That is all.

A MESSAGE TO CAPTAIN JOY

ghostbusters uprising.jpg
Originally uploaded by captain joy.

Oh, Joy--

I enjoy a Peter McNichol reference as much as the next man, and of course this is brilliant.

But I should note again that the original intention of the game was to promote unretouched photos of actual h-in-sunrays markings. The idea of photo manipulation hadn't occurred to me.

That said, these things take a life of their own, and that is how it should be. I do not wish to be controlling. Those who wish to draw in actual chalk and those who wish to draw in virtual chalk are all equally thanked by me.

That is all.

PREPARE FOR COULTON VS. FLOATING SQUID

IT SHALL HAPPEN tomorrow.

TRIPLE ACTION

Greetings internet readers...

For those of you who have spoken renewed desire to play Burger Time and Triple Action, I can direct you to Intellivision Lives, an upstart group of former Intellivision programmers bent on keeping their strange legacy alive. They were the kind source of the original Plimpton image that inspired this one.

Meanwhile, thank you for reading the internet.

That is all.

MINATURE JAPANESE GARDEN? OR GIGANTIC SURFACE OF THE MOON?

It's Time
Originally uploaded by Bill_D.

AS OFTEN, miniature and gigantic seem to be the only options.

AND HERE IS THE REFERENT

WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
Originally uploaded by hodg-man.

It still astonishes me that my publisher went along with this scheme.

That is all.

THIS IS THE REFERENCE

George Plimpton Digs Intellivision
Originally uploaded by scrubbles.

FOR JESSE, and those else who may not initially grasp it, this is the reference I was trying to make.

I TRUST IT IS CLEAR that my intent is homage, for with Plimpton, there is no comparison. I had the distinctly surreal pleasure of being edited by him once over the phone. There are few editors as gracious and astute as he was.

PLUS, he could boogie.

MORE HERE, including the now inevtiable COULTON SONG.

That is all.

BOING

I had been planning to link to this on Monday, but Mark beat me to it. It's only appropriate, as he got the whole thing started, after all. But, still: I will crush him.

To see the whole big thing, go here. Thank you, Xadrian.

That is all.

CITIZENS OF NEW YORK

I thank you. It was a wonderful debut of both the paperback and audiobook editions. Coulton and I were rusty, but your patience and mercy, plus the brandy, helped.

That is all.

GLAZED BEAVER PLAQUES

On Thursday evening, Sept 7th, at 7PM...

COULTON and I will be presenting material from what we commonly refer to as "THE PAPERBACK EDITION."

This will be the first official presentation of this new, much more flexible edition of my book, and it shall occur at the Barnes and Noble in Astor Place. If you want to know what it looks like, go here.

(Pictured, one of the several beavers depicted on the walls of the Astor Place IRT station, so named for John Jacob Astor, renowned furrier and beaver-killer of NYC's ancient past).

If you hate glazed beaver plaques or are too good to ride the subway, perhaps you might walk or take a pedicab? But by all means: PLEASE STOP BY AND SAY HELLO.

But if you are nowhere near Manhattan and wish to buy the book, one way would be to visit NPR, where your purchase somehow aids the hopeless cause of radio. You know how I feel about hopeless causes.

(Scroll down to "PURCHASE FEATURED BOOKS" and then do exactly what it tells you to do)

Or else wait, and perhaps we shall meet ON THE AMERICAN ROAD.

That is all.

(Photo credit: Rich Panse)

THE BITTER GLARE OF THE EVER-UNCARING TRIPLE SUNS

Pertaining to this query from long ago, I am now able to reveal the startling alternate cover to the paperback edition of my book, courtesy the skilled BENJAMIN GIBSON.

It is not only beautiful and dragony, but also it serves as a security measure. If you do not find this image on the inside cover, then you are not reading an AUTHENTIC PAPERBACK EDITION of THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE.

Other sure-fire signs that you may be reading an ILLEGALLY PIRATED copy of the PAPERBACK EDITION.

-it does not contain 100 more hobo names.
-the words seem to be in the proper order and all make sense.
-it does not contain any words at all, just pictures of fighting karate men.
-it is printed on CDs instead of paper.
-it was sold to you by THIS MAN.

If you suspect you have a BOOTLEG copy, or if your copy is ON FIRE, I ugre you to send it back to the publisher and buy one or more AUTHENTIC EDITIONS.

Unless it is printed on CDs, in which case, keep it. Coasters!

That is all.

WILL THIS BE THE 700th HOBO?

The Hobotones
Originally uploaded by dutchb0y.

The answer is no. This picture was uploaded last week.

But I am informed that e-hobo will reach its full complement of 700 hobo illustrations today, TUESDAY, Sept 5.

It will be provided by "El Sloth," the slow, updside-down-hanging fellow who provided this very first illustration.

Then Apelad, Annje, Jawbone, Xadrian, Boxcar Avenger, Marcus Parcus, Juco, Dark Mark, Halcyon Snow, Dutchboy, Horsemask, the Grey Engima, Dan Coulter, and so many more* will at last be done with their strange marvel of a project. Except for 100 more hoboes, just added.

(*And then, perhaps, they will take up the equally time-consuming, abitrary, and necessary charge of illustrating 700 hobo illustrator nicknames).

Meanwhile, if you wish, you may listen this evening forthe secret messages on the radio(if you are not doing so already. And if you are not doing so already, what is wrong with you?).

And finally, to bury the lead, the very soft, pliable, paperback edition of my book is officially published today.

Please note: it can be rolled up into a stake, but if you use it to stab the undead, you will be in for a bad surprise.

That is all.

THE GHOST OF RADIO KUOW-SEATTLE

Here you see a spectral photograph of the ghost that wanders the halls of KUOW-Seattle.

Known as "Ole Johnny Moe," they say he is a failed thespian known for his booming voice. At the station he is blamed for all sorts of mysterious happenings--signal noise, rapping on microphones, and the hosting of afternoon talk programs. He also has apparently written a book from the beyond. I took this photo on my tour of Seattle's haunted NPR stations, which I highly recommend.

Bookeaters tonight. Some tickets available. Hope to see you there.

That is all.

PLEASE, SEATTLE: NO COINS SHAPED INTO KNIVES

For those of you who enjoy hash beer, salmon jerky, space travel supplies, and the other pleasures of the pacific northwest, may I direct you to some more information regarding the 826 Seattle benefit this Friday evening?:

"Q: Or would you encourage people to wildly throw money on stage?

"A: As long as people are not throwing gigantic coins, like the kind Batman has in his Batcave, that would be fine. Actually, a giant coin would be fine, too. Just don't "throw" coins or money with guns, or shape the coins into knives."

READ ON, IF YOU WISH.

Photo of Equipment at Seattle's Greenwood Space Travel Supply Store courtesy of Ginger Lee, whoever you are. Thank you.

That is all.