IT'S LIKE A MINI-RAVE

THIS IS YOUR MAN Dave Hill: still doing it, only Jedi style.



THAT IS ALL

EVERYONE WATCH BATTLESTAR GALACTICA TONIGHT OR ELSE

SORRY TO BE PUSHY. But it is important, because it is good. And good is in short supply.

WOULD HAVE BLOGGED earlier, but failed due to book-work and no more talk English style exhaustion.

That is all.

MADDOW TO BLOCK

(POST TITLE UPDATED to reflect the strange, Hollywood Squares-ish format of the new David Gregory political game show).

HERE IS MY FEELING: if bees had knees, RACHEL MADDOW would be those knees.



That is all.

PS: Actually, it looks a little more PRESS MY LUCK than H'wood Squares, now that I think of it.

MORE FROM THE BIG BM

MORE FROM BRETT MARTIN, on Durian.

I HAD DURIAN PUDDING once, and it was fine. It was better than the scotty dog pudding.

SORRY I MISSED FOOL'S DAY. I wan't paying attention.

AT LEAST I'M POSTING faster than Sachs. Would you do me a favor and bombard his comments with demands for NEW MATERIAL, and not the same old mountain shots?

That is all.

IF YOU READ JESSE THORN'S BLOG

IF YOU READ JESSE THORN'S BLOG, then you knew about this 100 years ago,

BUT BILL WASIK BROUGHT IT TO MY ATTENTION TODAY, and I have to say, New York Times Magazine contributor Jon Glaser has got SERIOUS PIPES.

(That is slang for "vocal cords")



AND HERE'S THE ESSENTIAL "making of video" that you saw 100 years ago on Jesse Thorn's blog.



That is all.

FOUR FINE FELLOWS, PLUS BILLY BRAGG

1. COULTON covers BRAGG. In the words of his wife, "FINALLY."



I HOPE VERY MUCH that Billy Bragg supports creative commons, because it would be sad to be sued by a communist.

2. SACHS has a blog about his mad, lovely travels around the earth. It is worth reading, because SOMEDAY HE WILL UPDATE IT.


TO FIND OUT WHY SACHS RUNS* SO HARD, you can read this month's GQ.

*(or SANDBOARDS)

3. BRETT MARTIN has a worldly blog as well. It is worth reading because HE UPDATES IT EVERY DAY, and also it is named after his initials.


In the words of MARTIN, "FINALLY!"

4. JOHN SELLERS has always had an ANGRY BLOG, and plus he is reading from his book about his life as a GUIDED BY VOICES stalker at BOOK COURT tomorrow night. SEE YOU THERE.
(and: COVER by POTTS: a secret FIFTH FINE FELLOW)

THAT IS ALL.

I CERTAINLY WAS ASTONISHED, HUMBLED, AND THRILLED BY OBAMA'S SPEECH ON RACE

AND I THINK its unabashed intelligence and its signal that he is unwilling to play the game of predatory politicking is one of the reasons I am so bloggingly open about my support for his candidacy.

BUT I MUST CONFESS, this was a very smart, compassionately wonky, and meaningful speech for Clinton to give today. And she lays claim to the economy as an issue, which it undoubtedly is to those of us who are not latte sipping bazillionaires.

OBAMA IS EQUALLY WONKY, but unless I've missed something, he's been very shy recently about offering this kind of meat-and-potatoes policy-meal to Democrats who need more than just inspiration. I wish he had taken the lead on this one.

AND PERHAPS IT'S ALL EXPECTATION MANAGEMENT, but I don't like to hear David Plouffe giving up on PA at the end of this AP story. I don't think it's wise to cede Clinton this state and the important, if symbolic, victory she'd take with it if she trounces him.

AND SURE, I'M ALL FOR THE NEW POLITICS, but seriously--why isn't the sideshow media jumping all over this plain lie?

OK. That is all I wanted to say....

That is all.

SPEAKING OF THE ROBOT MENACE

EVERYONE HAS SEEN THIS ONE about the robots...



BUT MAY I JUST CALL ATTENTION to the brilliant Brian Huskey and Tom Shillue (the humans on the left).

THE OTHER PERFORMERS are equally great, but I don't know their names, and thus I naturally wonder if they are not actually just androids.

That is all.

COULTON SAYS THIS IS A ROBOT

BUT I AM STILL PRETTY SURE that it's some kind of Mumenschanz stunt.

YOU DECIDE:



That is all.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS SUMMARY 1

IN WHAT MAY BE A RECURRING FEATURE for this non-blog, please find today's very beautiful, strange, and surprisingly Gene Shalit-y

SUMMARY FROM AMERICA'S LIBRARY OF CONGRESS

...describing a Look magazine photo-essay on that new campus trend of 1965: computer matchmaking.

*****BEGIN QUOTED TEXT*****

SUMMARY: Photographs show a computer matched couple on a weekend date in New Haven, Conn. Includes students Nikos Tsinikas, of Yale University, and Nancy Schreiber, of Smith College, at parties with other students; touring an exhibit at the Yale Art Gallery; dining in a restaurant; kissing. The job also includes portraits of Harvard student Jeff Tarr, founder of Operation Match, a computer dating service based at Harvard; the Operation Match computer room; MIT student David DeWan founder of Contact dating service operating a computer; Chris Walker, of Yale, looking at computer printouts. Also a portrait of writer Gene Shalit, wearing an Arabian headress and smoking a cigar.
Unpublished photographs show young adults in a computer lab(?).

*****END QUOTED TEXT*****

That is all.

UPSIDE-DOWN LAND

JUST TO BE CLEAR, I was not intending to use my iPhone upside-down in order to make a "joke."

I WAS MERELY DISTRACTED by the gigantic and authentic STOCK TICKER, and the fact that if I broke it, it would cost the show ten thousand ACTUAL DOLLARS.

That is all.

CALL IT BLIND PREJUDICE...

BUT I WILL ALWAYS VOTE for the writer.

That is all.

YES, NO, SORRY

YES: of course I have seen the Playmobil Security Checkpoint. IT IS AWESOME. But I trust you have seen the 19th CENTURY PLAYMOBIL CONSTABLE ROUSTING THE DRUNKEN TRAMP?

NO: I have not yet seen Olberman, but I am going to ask the Internet for it for Xmas.

SORRY: I gave you the wrong URL for Ape-Lad's book. Here it is again, I hope.

AND ALSO I AM SORRY: for I have been out of town.

That is all.

APE-LAD URGES US ALL TO DIE

die, die, DIE
Originally uploaded by Ape Lad.

THIS, from Ape-Lad, re: the legacy of Gygax.

WHAT WOULD RICKY JAY SAY ABOUT THIS?

AS WELL, have you seen Ape-Lad's book?

HOLY CATS! (literally*): It is awesome.

That is all

*(Not literally)

POTTS AND ROGERS IN THE NYT, PLUS BOINGBOING

ADAM ROGERS, my editor at "WIRED,"

and SAM POTTS, whom you may know from the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company and the design of A BOOK

(and whom I know from Mr. Koestenbaum's Photo 1 class)

TEAM UP TO SEND OFF GYGAX with a lovely essay, and an amazing chart.

JOIN THE DISCUSSION OF SAME on boingboing.net and marvel as Potts fends off the typical comments board sniping by OUTGEEKING THEM ALL:

[BEGIN QUOTED TEXT FROM POTTS]

"Vin Diesel is included because he's a self-avowed (-confessed?) D&Der. His connection to Asimov is that "Pitch Black" was based loosely on Asimov's story 'Nightfall.'"

[END POTTS QUOTE]

(C. Alan Joyce of the World Almanac also jumps into the fray.)

FINALLY, and BELATEDLY: thank you, Gary Gygax, and safe journey. We shall all be raiding your tomb forever.

That is all.

SEE?

THIS IS WHAT I'm missing while I'm going crazy.

That is all.

POWER AT TED

WHILE THE VIDEO IS NOT THERE, I did manage to find this abstract of POWER'S TED TALK from the TED blogger Bruno Giussani.

READ, if you like, and MARVEL at all the links Bruno puts in his post!

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT

Harvard political scientist and writer Samantha Power is tasked with the closing speech. She wrote a book on genocide, and a new one (just out) called "Chasing the flame", a biography of Sergio Vieira de Mello, the UN envoy in Baghdad who was killed in the first suicide bombing in 2003 (book cover left). She is a powerful proponent of bringing human rights back to US foreign policy -- see her essay on "The Human-Rights Vacuum", arguing that the erosion of US influence around the world has created "a void in global human-rights leadership". She may get her voice heard by the next president: she's an adviser to Democratic candidate Barack Obama (she wears an Obama badge on stage).
On April 31st, 1994, in the middle of the Rwandan genocide, the NYT reported that 200 to 300'000 people had already been killed. An American congresswoman from Colorado met that day with a group of journalists, and one asked why there is so little response out of Washington, no hearings, no denouncing. She said: "It's a great question All I can tell you is that in my congressional offices in Colorado and in Washington we are getting hundrds of calls about the endangered apes and gorilla populations in Rwanda, but no one is calling about the people". The truth is that while we have developed endangered species movements, we don't have an endangered people movement, we have a Holocaust museum but we haven't really created the movement-of-never-again. Now, almost out of nowhere there is an anti-genocide movement, it grew up in response to the atrocities in Darfur, there are more than 300 anti-genocide chapters in universities in the US (bigger than the anti-apartheid movement) and the idea that not being an up-stander, but being a by-stander, has a price. This has led to the referral of the crimes in Darfur to the international criminal court etc. But evil lives on, people in refugee camps are surrounded by janjaweed militias. We have achieved alot, but still far too little. Why? Several reasons. The movement such as it is stops at America's borders, it's not a global movement (BG: that's not exactly true, there are movements in other countries, the UK government has been a key player in trying to broker peace, etc). Second, US has a credibility problem in international circles, it's difficult to remain credible when you denounce genocide on Monday, declare waterboarding as acceptable on Tuesday, and ask for troops on Wednesday, as the current US administration is doing.
She turns to Sergio Vieira de Mello. He was a cross between James Bond and Bobby Kennedy. He was ingenious, spoke 7 languages, was successful with women; and one could never tell if he was a realist masquerading as idealist, or the other way around (BG: I met him twice, and that's an accurate description of him). He worked for the UN in Bosnia, Rwanda, Congo, Kosovo, East Timor and many other countries. "He was the cutting edge of our experimentation with doing good with limited resources". Four lessons from his life on how to prevent evil from prevailing:

• His relationship to evil is something to learn from. Over the course of his career he changed alot, he had alot of flaws but he was very adaptive. He started as someone who charged, attached, accused. Then in Southern Lebanon in 1992 he said to himself that he would never use the word "unacceptable" again. He became almost obsequious, even negotiating with the Khmer Rouge. But towards the end of his life he had achieved a balance, don't ignore history, don't ignore what the wrongdoers have done but go into the room and discuss with them.
• He espoused and exhibited a reverence for dignity that was really unusual. At a micro-level the individuals around him were visual, he saw them. At a macro level, dignity was at the center of his action.
• He talked alot about freedom from fear. Fear is not a concept that we want to walk away from, but let's calibrate our relationship to the threat. Let's not hype it, let's see it clearly. Fear is a bad advisor.
• Because he was working on all those hard place, he was very aware of their complexity, humbled by it, but not paralyzed by it. We, there seem to be a temptation to pull back from the world. We can't afford to pull back, it's a question on how to be in the world.

If we want to see change, we have to become the change.

END QUOTED TEXT.

All I can say is: THANK HEAVEN WE HAVE CHASED THAT POISONOUS MONSTER SAMANTHA POWER AWAY FROM OUR PUBLIC DISCOURSE!

that is all.

SAMANTHA POWER

I HOPE THAT they post Samantha Power's TED talk from last week as soon as possible.

FOR IN IT, you will get to see what a smart and funny and deeply principled scholar looks like when she gets tired of the annoying absurdities of political life, such as PRETENDING THAT GENOCIDE ISN'T REALLY HAPPENING.

I FOUND her call and efforts to organize a meaningful policy to deal with genocide one of the most inspiring things I heard at the conference.

(THAT, and Joshua Klein's plan to crowdsource litter management to enormous packs of CROWS).

BUT BECAUSE Hillary Clinton apparently can't bear to be called a name, a brilliant, talented woman is chased from public service--at least for now.

I CALL IT MONSTROUS.

That is all.

PENNSYLVANIA AND DILBERT

ANOTHER NOTE on the matter of Pennsylvania.

I DID NOT MEAN TO SUGGEST that Clinton's victories last night were hollow by calling them "symbolic."

SYMBOLIC VICTORIES are extremely important. Even if she hasn't changed the math, she has fundamentally changed the tenor of the conversation, which is absolutely what she had to do. Her win in Texas, as of this writing, is only by three percent; but had it gone only 3 percent to Obama, an argument could have been credibly mounted that she did not meet her own expectations and should now step aside.

BUT SHE WON THAT MARGIN and now people are asking Obama if he would settle for VP.

(NO ONE SHOULD SETTLE AT THE MOMENT, though any combination of those two would be a ticket I would probably vote for, either as a Dem or Ind, depending.)

BUT IN THE SAME VEIN, Pennsylvania shapes up not only as a necessary MATH victory for Obama, but a crucial SYMBOLIC one.

Even though he might lose PA by a small amount and STILL come out ahead in pledged delegates; and even though the general election relies less on core Democratic support than it does on the candidate's ability to attract independents and swing voters (where I believe Obama has a significant advantage)...

Even though all of this, Clinton's SYMBOLIC victory in Ohio suggests that the post-industrial OLD-LINE DEMOCRATIC VOTERS are still not sold on him. That is to say, the working class white men and women whom he had been attracting in Wisconsin, but lost ground with in Ohio.

HE NEEDS TO PROVE THAT HE CAN WIN THEM OVER, decisively. And he needs to win them in primaries, not caucuses, in order to beat back the Clintonian myth that he can only win in caucuses because they are stacked with LATTE-DRINKERS AND COLLEGE PROFS AND ACTIVISTS.

Pennsylvania is not only a big state, it is a post-industrial state conveniently full of old-line Democrats with a Democratic-only primary. From a MATH point of view, it's a "would be nice to win" state.

But from a SYMBOLIC point of view, it's a MUST TO WIN state if Obama is to have any hope of convincing the party elders (ie, superdelegates) that he's earned the full backing of the party he seeks to represent.

ALL PREVIOUS EVIDENCE suggests that the longer voters are exposed to Obama, the more they like him. So my feeling is: he has seven weeks before Pennsylvania: HE SHOULD GO LIVE THERE NOW.

I GAVE YESTERDAY, and I will wait to give again until I see evidence of a clear, powerful Pennsylvania strategy. And when I do, I will not only give, I WILL GO VOLUNTEER.

(PS: hey, matching donor Mark F, where are you?)

ON ANOTHER NOTE, it looks like Scott Adams is one of COULTON'S 1000 TRUE FANS.

That is all.

MY INCREDIBLE INSIGHT

CLINTON WON the two big states. She fought hard and deserves congratulations. It's a symbolic win, given that the delegate math does not seem to have shifted very much, but not entirely so. She can now easily make an argument that she deserves a fair hearing from the super-delegates regardless of the pledged delegate count.

THIS WILL BE HARROWING. Given their respective support and the clear ambivalence of the electorate, it would be foolish for either candidate to drop out. Yet it will be hard on the party for them both to stay in. My hope is that they work together to find a way to at least make it fun and interesting, and not just oppressively petty and painful.

ONE SUGGESTION: please don't go out saying McCain is better than Obama on any issue, no matter how it helps you. Obama could still be your party's nominee, after all.

SINCE THE WORLD WAS DEPRIVED of my incredible insight and unbeatable political strategy until it was too late last time, I'll say this right now: Obama must focus on winning Pennsylvania, and by a good margin. It's the only fight left: the only way to counter the argument that he cannot win the big, traditionally democratic, Clinton-leaning states, which is the argument Clinton will use should she face the convention with a minority of pledged delegates.

I LOVE MY WYOMING AND MISSISSIPPI, and they should not be wholly neglected.
But it's time to shift from a 50 state strategy to a one state strategy.

AND NO MATTER WHOM YOU SUPPORT, LET'S BE CLEAR: the only way to avoid a convention decided by politicians instead of voters is to provide Obama with a clear, undeniable electoral mandate. He has one now, and every time he broadens the delegate gap, he gets closer to an uncontested convention.

IF YOU REALLY SUPPORT CLINTON, then you must face facts and realize that she gained very few delegates last night, despite all the press. No matter her future performance, her road to the nomination relies almost surely on political gamesmanship and her ability to convince the super delegates to her cause.

BY ALL MEANS, FIGHT ON. But harbor no illusions. Unless you can show me math that proves otherwise (and I've seen none), she comes to the nomination by a questionable mandate and a lot of political arm-twisting. And as you know, I don't think that's such a hot position to lead from.

WASN'T THIS POST HILARIOUS?

That is all.

AFTER ALL THIS...

H in Sunrays on Cracker.
Originally uploaded by weirdel.

I need another cracker.

WITH CAPS FLAVORED CHEESE

Thanks again Weirdel.

That is all.

HELLO, KELLY AND LEX

To reply to Kelly and Lex from the comments below, let me clarify regarding my decision to leave the Democratic party should Clinton become the nominee.

First, I did not say I would vote for John McCain. No matter what happens, I will vote for the nominee whose ideals are closest to my own. Despite my self-smear as a latte drinker above, I am actually pretty small-government in my social and economic thinking, and so I doubt I would ever be able to vote for a person aligned with the privacy invaders of the anti-abortion, anti-gay right wing.

Second, I support Obama because I support the party. I believe that Obama as nominee will strengthen and broaden the party. I think his nomination is our best shot at winning the presidency with a broad, clear mandate and in winning back to our cause the independents and moderate Republicans that the Clintons, rightly or wrongly, seem to have lost.

(ironically, they lost them over the same tactics they used to seek them, but more on that later)

Pragmatically, such a mandate would create coattails upon which other Democrats, as well as Independents and Republicans I agree with, will be able to ride into office. Far more so than a scorched-earth, 51%, dare-I-say Clintonian victory in November, this kind of mandate and broad based electoral success is our best chance of actually enacting the kind of change both candidates want to make.

Third, Obama represents the model of the Democratic party I wish to belong to. It is a party that is inclusive. It is a party that does not tell me that I'm the wrong kind of Democrat (ie, latte-drinking). It is a party that does not imply that the Democrats of Texas or Iowa don't count because they don't fit into the electoral calculus. It is a party that is committed to innovative grass roots organizing: raising funds and building policy support voter by voter in all 50 states, and does not rely solely on entrenched political machines and top-down, mass media, which is dying.

I acknowledge that Obama is not pure-as-driven snow on these metrics. I am sure some may find quotes that would support that he alienated a voter there, or benefited from a political machine here. But is clear at least to me that he is closer to the mark on these principles than his rival, and he is a leader insofar as he is showing us why they matter so very much. These models for the party, especially the matter of inclusiveness, are not merely inspiring ideas, but also represent a blueprint for what I would consider to be a broader, more vibrant, and more powerful Democratic party.

Fourth, and to specifically answer Lex, I do not dislike Hillary Clinton. I voted for her husband twice, and I think she would be a capable president, were there not a better option available.

However, she nonetheless represents what I consider to be a model for a failed Democratic party. A party that divides its own membership against one another--by suggesting that a rival is not black enough, for example, or too maybe-Muslim--in order to conquer it. A party that prefers a meaningless, symbolic conflict over an effective struggle, or reasonable compromise. A party that is essentially unprincipled, following the DLC line of tacking further and further to the right to capture what I consider to be a mythical conservative majority until finally it is merely a shadow republicanism. A party that mocks inspiration and villifies optimism.

Again, I do not just find these qualities loathsome. Pragmatically, they add up to a party that loses elections, loses core support, and presides over a dwindling collection of special interests instead of a national movement. Our success in 2006 stemmed from our firm principled opposition to the war, resonating with a motivated electorate, and our embrace of disillusioned republicans like Jim Webb. Yet we have retreated from that stance ever since. On the war alone, the defining issue of our day, there is little meaningful difference between McCain and Clinton. If Clinton's democratic party is, in policy and tactics, merely a shadow of the Republican party, then independents and moderate republicans will simply and understandably vote for the real thing.

Fifth, and this goes without saying, my loyalty is to my country and its principles first, not to the private enterprise that is a modern political party. Like most, I didn't choose my political party, I inherited it. I've always been proud of it and its stances. But I think we see a clear difference here not only in which way the country goes, but the party. If Clinton is nominated, and especially so if she is nominated without a clear electoral mandate, then I will conclude the democratic party is not interested in being the party I think it can become, the party I wish to be a part of. And while I might vote the democratic ticket in the future, I would in that case become an independent.

I hope that all make sense. Did you notice? NO CAPS!

That is all.

HOPE ON A CRACKER

H in Sunrays on Cracker.
Originally uploaded by weirdel.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE, this easy-cheese reminder from Weirdel that

IT IS TIME FOR THE HOBOES TO TAKE OVER THE US GOVERNMENT.

Vote.

That is all.

MY TWO CENTS, WHICH ARE WORTH EXACTLY 1/2 OF A CENT

I AGREE WITH BILL SCHER'S FOOLISH PREDICTIONS, though it is not a happy agreement.

Obama's message since Wisconsin has been that the delegate math proves that OBAMA IS INEVITABLE, and that message has consistently annoyed voters in this primary.

AN ALTERNATE, and better story might have been that the delegate math proves that, unless Obama is the clear nominee, there WILL BE a brokered convention.

FOR, AS I HAVE NOTED BEFORE, the voters have consistently rejected the notion that this election be decided by super delegates, the press, or anyone who is not them.

ALL DEMOCRATS and all voters instinctively loathe the idea of the brokered convention.

AND A BROKERED CONVENTION WILL HAPPEN if Clinton wins both OH and TX, or maybe even just OH, as she is unlikely to step aside EVER.

I TRUST OBAMA has been concentrating on his ground game, as that produced large wins in what had seemed like close races, as in Wisconsin. I hope that's what happens here.

BUT IF HE LOSES EITHER OH OR TX, I think it will be because of this rhetorical error.

(And also, I think, because of the insidious, Limbaugh-esque pigeonholing of his supporters as latte-swilling liberal freaks. Far more than the empty-suit-plagiarist-crypto-muslim-weak-baby smears that have gotten all the attention, I think THAT is what's really driving working class Democrats to Clinton in Ohio. AND I DON'T JUST SAY THAT BECAUSE I AM A LATTE-SWILLING LIBERAL FREAK)

AND IF OBAMA LOSES BOTH OH AND TX, I think it's over. Because at that point the nomination will go to whomever wants it enough to destroy the party over it, and I think that person is Hillary Clinton.

AND NOT THAT IT SHOULD MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU, but if Hillary Clinton wins the nomination, I'm leaving the party.

I MAKE THIS PROMISE TO YOU, in internet writing.

That is all.

I HAVE BEEN OUT OF TOWN

...at the TED conference, and now I am trying to figure out if it really happened.

I KNOW IT SOMEHOW involved both Craig Venter and Goldie Hawn.

BUT THAT cannot be true, can it? WAS IT A DREAM?

Meanwhile, I just matched Mark F.'s contribution to Obama. I will let you know if he writes back to me.

That is all.

YES: I READ ANDREW SULLIVAN

AND I AGREE with him.

MORE GARFIELD minus Garfield is found here.

That is all.

A CULTURAL SINGULARITY BEYOND WHICH THERE IS NO RETURN

IF YOU ARE TRULY interested in fact-fiction event horizons, please see:

COULTON playing his own STAY ALIVE on Rock Band accompanied by that old anthem rock power trio,

LAPORTE, MANN, & BELMONT

I am very angry I could not be there.

AND NOW SO ARE YOU.

That is all.

COURTESY: Ms. Belmont for the link and video. Click the second link above to learn more about these INCREDIBLE MUSICIANS.

CRYSTAL METH: FRIEND OR FOE?

THERE IS NO TIME FOR pithy commentary.

IT IS SIMPLY IMPERATIVE that you go here, now.

LINK COURTESY: Sean McDonald.

That is all.

IN OTHER NEWS: TOUGH

IN OTHER NEWS, I always knew that my friend and my editor Paul Tough was a very smart person and a very fine writer about aliens and humans

(AND not a bad singer, as you will recall if you attended the LITTLE GRAY BOOK LECTURE on the subject of "What Will Happen in the Future").

BUT I AM ASTONISHED by how astute and readable his political blogging is.

ESPECIALLY compared to mine.

WHY DON'T YOU SUBSCRIBE TO HIS WEBSITE RIGHT NOW?

There is no reasonable answer.

That is all.

THE CENTER OF THE WORLD

RAMONA brings my attention to this SHIRT

DESIGNED BY one Ian Leino.

IT IS the best picture we have to date of the world of the MOLE-MEN.

SO WHY DON'T YOU IMMEDIATELY BUY IT?

I trust you see my logic.

That is all.

FROM THE COMMENTS

"TIM" WRITES from the comments:

"You know what would really complement a cape? A goatee. The last time we elected a president with facial hair was 1908. Exactly one hundred years ago. The time for a comeback has arrived."

OBVIOUSLY I agree, and that is why I was so excited when Al Gore grew a beard.

HOWEVER, not a goatee. NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. As we learned in the NINETEEN NINETIES, the goatee is the facial hair of the desperately ambivalent, and that is not what we need in a PRESIDENT today.

(ALSO, The Potts Famous Beard Manual indicates that a GOATEE signifies "false hopes" and "flash over substance." As well it is suggested that the GOATEER is someone who might lead a "CULT OF PERSONALITY" and maybe even "QUOTE WITHOUT ATTRIBUTION." And as you know, THOSE ARE THE WORST THINGS ON EARTH.)

That is all.

AND REGARING THE ELVEN vs. ERMINE vs. SUPER-HERO CAPE-CLOAK DEBATE GOING ON IN THE COMMENTS

WHAT I HAD IN MIND was more of a Roosevelt-at-Yalta cape, as per this HISTORICAL IMAGE.

I THINK THIS IS SOME KIND OF TRADITIONAL naval watch cloak.

(BUT IF THERE IS A CAPE HISTORIAN or "cloakist" in the crowd, please do enlighten me.)





UPDATED: Though of course, your imagination need not be restrained to this particular model if something like this is more up your alley.



I JUST DON'T THINK IT'LL WIN ELECTIONS.

That is all.

OBAMA EN-MANTLED

Obama with cloak
Originally uploaded by Trophiogrande.

AS PER yesterday's post. Here is Trophiogrande's rendition of Obama wearing a cape.

That is all.

SINCERITY POST

IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS by the tenor of my recent posts and the recent Obama victories that

I AM NO LONGER TOTALLY FREAKING OUT.

I AM NO LONGER AS DESPERATELY WORRIED AS I WAS that my preferred candidate for President (hint: Obama)--who represents what I consider to be the smart, inclusive, decent, and inspiring Democratic politics of the future--might be KIDNEY PUNCHED TO DEATH by the grim Rovian politics of the past.

AND I AM NO LONGER AS PROFOUNDLY DEPRESSED AS I WAS that Hillary Clinton, whom I've always liked and defended, was the one doing the Rovian kidney punching.

SO YOU NICE PEOPLE MAY GET SOME RELIEF from the relentlessly sincere posts about politics and my worries

AND SOON WE CAN ALL GET BACK TO THE MOLE-MEN.

That said, I will offer just 2 MORE BLASTS OF PURE, EMBARRASSING, NAIVE SINCERITY...

SINCERITY BLAST ONE!:

If you are perceived as being the darling candidate of the young, educated, liberal activists, you don't really change that impression by having your triumph in MADISON, WISCONSIN.

TO THIS POINT: Obama's little joke about his whispered conversation with a Republican who had come to the Obama fold was funny. But I winced when it became clear he was only using the exchange as a joke.

IF WE ARE ALL INDEED EACH OTHER'S KEEPER, he needed to call back to that Republican handshake in his speech, and remind his young, educated, liberal activists that the Republicans are humans as well. We need to welcome and talk to them, and not just in an embarrassed whisper. We need to stop demonizing one another by party, by region, by class, by race. And the logical next step after that rally was to urge every one of those young, educated, liberal activists to go out into their state and meet their neighbors--not just to spread the word; but also to just shake hands.

It's not just good politics for the primary. It's not just how we'll form a new, strong, young, inclusive Democratic party. It's what the Obama candidacy, at its best, is all about.

SINCERITY BLAST TWO!

I like the fact that Obama is ahead of Clinton by about .338787 of a delegate, or whatever it is. It is appropriate for him to take up the mantle of the front runner at this point.

(AND WERE YOU AWARE of the meaning of the word "mantle" in this context? It means a kind of ceremonial cloak or cape)

HOWEVER: It seems to me wrong to promote Obama's nomination as INEVITABLE, as Obama's campaign seems to be doing.

Many have come off the crazy ups and downs of this race and called it absolutely unpredictable. All roller coasters feel that way when you're on them. But when you actually look at it from the outside, you see the peaks and valleys, and twists and turns are clearly structured and very predictable.

EVERY TIME CLINTON OR OBAMA is coronated as "inevitable"--by themselves or others--they lose. Look at what happened between Iowa and New Hampshire.

EVERY TIME CLINTON OR OBAMA is portrayed as the insurgent--by themselves or others--they win. Look what happened bewteen New Hampshire and South Carolina.

HISTORICALLY, no matter what you've read, AMERICANS HATE AN UNDERDOG--they love a winner. HENCE: BUSH.

BUT IN THIS RACE ESPECIALLY, voters HATE HATE HATE the presumption that someone else will be making this decision for them--be it the press, the superdelegates, the pundits, or the candidates themselves--before they've made up their own minds.

Obama is absolutely correct to capitalize on his winning momentum and A GENIUS to start taking his arguments directly to McCain, where he should finally show off the substantive policy chops the voters want and need to see.

But the primary races still to come will be hard. They could easily shift the balance back to Clinton, especially if she is able to cast Obama, perversely, as the establishment candidate, the pre-coronated king.

If Obama is to limit the inevitable sympathy vote that will accrue to her in the states to come, he needs to resist wearing a crown. He needs to remind Americans that his candidacy, if only by virtue of its inclusiveness, is ALWAYS at a disadvantage next to the harsh political gaming of Rove and his proteges.

The real triumph will come when he wins in spite of it.

OK, that is all I am going to say about all this. Since I have become NOTHING BUT A SHILL, I'll encourage you now to donate.

BUT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I THINK YOU WILL AGREE: it is time for Obama to start wearing some kind of actual cloak or cape on the campaign trail.

BECAUSE I THINK THAT WOULD LOOK AMAZING.

(Maybe Ape-Lad can envision it for us some day.)

That is all.

I GIVE UP

JUST GO here.

That is all.

THERE IS NO OS CONSPIRACY

I merely entered the embed code wrong.

I APOLOGIZE.

Try this:




THAT IS ALL

WOODCHUCK COME LOOK AT IT?

THE DRIEST JOKE on the internet today.



THERE ARE TWO PROBLEMS with this idea:

1) WRONG operating system.
2) UNTIL they get a monotreme up and running, I REMAIN SKEPTICAL.

That is all.

DERRICK

NOT MUCH TIME for pontificating today. I AM TRYING TO WRITE EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT MASSACHUSETTS.

BUT ENJOY THIS if you like watching pointless confrontation become meaningful conversation.



That is all we need right now

THAT IS ALL.

THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME CONFUSION

THE PERSON WHO DELIVERED BEACON, NY to Obama and did all that volunteering and good writing below was DAVID REES, not me.

I live in Brooklyn and have just been blogging.

POORLY.

That is all.

FROM DAVID REES PART 2

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT FROM DAVID REES

We held Hillary to a measly five-point victory in Dutchess county, one of
the slimmest margins in the state.

Obama won in Beacon [NY]

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF MY ENORMOUS YARD SIGNS.

Here's an interesting article, positing that Obama's campaign itself speaks
to his strategic and executive abilities.

To which I can only add: Any candidate that can convince an agoraphobic,
depressive internet addict like myself to stand on a highway overpass waving
a sign and talking to strangers is a GODDAMN STRATEGIC MASTERMIND.

END QUOTED TEXT

That is all.

HOLD NO LEVEL OF FEAR

That is all.

HOPE

AND VOTE

NO MATTER WHOM YOU ARE SUPPORTING, there are few actions that are so profoundly entwined and joyfully United Statesean as these.

AND FEWER STILL that have been so hard won, and so nobly, by those who were unable to do either.

AS YOU KNOW, these two rights and responsibilities of citizenship were not won in 1776.

IF YOU ARE TO BELIEVE JEFFERSON, we were born with them long before that year, for one is liberty, and the other the pursuit of happiness.

AND EVEN AFTER OUR REVOLUTION, many of us had years of fighting still before they got them.

AND WE ARE ALL STILL FIGHTING, year after year, election day after election day. Because as difficult as it is to accept, there are those still, this very day, who will rob us of both if they can.

PLUS: you get a little sticker and maybe a brownie if there's a bake sale on.

SEE YOU AT THE POLLS.

That is all.

3,000 PEOPLE IS NOT NO PEOPLE

I WILL SAY THIS THOUGH, whoever suggested the Meadowlands for today's Obama rally should consider resigning.

ESPECIALLY WHEN the alternative was a much more public-transit friendly arena in Cory Booker's backyard.

"Mayor Cory A. Booker of Newark, who was at the rally, said that the rainy and snowy weather, the mid-workday timing and the relative lack of access to the Meadowlands were to blame. Mr. Booker said that he had hoped to play host to the event at the Prudential Center in downtown Newark, which is much easier to reach via public transportation and — for the city’s thousands of office workers — by foot."

That is all.

FROM DAVID REES

THIS JUST ARRIVED in my mailbox from the great David Rees, creator of the comic strip GET YOUR WAR ON.

I DO NOT KNOW ANY CLIP ART CARTOONISTS who are funnier, more principled, and less likely to swoon for a politician.

AND THAT IS WHY I feel compelled to pass this on.

REES has been organizing for Obama tirelessly up in Beacon, NY, as he knows that even if Obama loses the state, he will keep the delegates he wins here.

(CHECK AND SEE IF THIS IS THE CASE IN YOUR STATE AS WELL, and then vote, for heaven's sake).

WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING? Bloggin'.

SO YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO DAVID REES:

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT.

Dear Mailing List,

In the eight years I've managed this list I've never agitated for a politician. I hope you'll let me abuse your trust this one time.

If you're a friend of mine, or a fan of "Get Your War On," you probably know how important the issue of cluster bombs and landmines is to me.

It was America's use of cluster bombs during Operation: Enduring Freedom that led me to start GYWO seven(!) years ago this fall, and it has been my pleasure and my honor to donate the royalties from the two GYWO anthologies to Mine Detection & Dog Center Team #5, a landmine removal team in western Afghanistan.

If you ever attended a GYWO reading, you probably sat through my video of landmine removal teams in the field, or listened to me read off statistics about that dangerous mission, or indulged me by taking an informational flyer about MDC Team #5 and the sacred work they do.

(If you bought one of the GYWO books, you've helped that work, and I thank you.)

Cluster bombs and landmines are particularly terrifying weapons that wreak havoc on communities trying to recover from war. They are fatal impediments to reconstruction and rehabilitation of agricultural land; they destroy valuable livestock; they disable otherwise productive members of society; they maim or kill children trying to salvage them for scrap metal.

Over 150 nations have signed the 1997 Mine Ban Treaty. It pains me that our great nation has not. But in the autumn of 2006, there was a chance to take a step in the right direction: Senate Amendment No. 4882, an amendment to a Pentagon appropriations bill that would have banned the use of cluster bombs in civilian areas.

Senator Obama of Illinois voted IN FAVOR of the ban.

Senator Clinton of New York voted AGAINST the ban.

Analysts say Clinton did want to risk appearing "soft on terror," as it would have harmed her electibility.

I'm not a single-issue voter. But as Obama and Clinton share many policy positions, this vote was revelatory for me. After all, Amendment No. 4882 was an easy one to vote against: Who'd want to risk accusation of "tying the hands of the Pentagon" during a never-ending, global War on Terror? As is so often the case, there was no political cost to doing the wrong thing. And there was no political reward for doing the right thing.

But Senator Obama did the right thing.

Is Senator Obama perfect? Of course not. Nobody who voted for 2005's wack-ass energy bill is perfect. Nobody who voted to reauthorize the Patriot Act is perfect.

But of the two remaining Democratic candidates, one decided her vote on Amendment No. 4882 according to a political calculation. The other used a moral calculation.

I'm 35 years old, and over the years, I've had two experiences in the voting booth: I've voted for politicians I really respected, who I knew could never win. And I've voted for politicians I didn't really respect, because I knew they could win.

Tomorrow, I'm going to vote for a politician I really respect, who I know can win.

(DEEP BREATH)

I urge you to vote Senator Barack Obama for the Democratic Party's nominee for President of the United States.

Thanks,
David Rees

END QUOTED TEXT

Please note that David is interviewing Amy Sedaris on Feb 7 at 7PM at the Brooklyn Public Library, and for free TO BOOT!

That is all

CARTOON COURTESY: Rees

NOW WE NEED A COULTON VERSION

That is all.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

I CAN SEE a cynical argument that points out that most Americans don't care what Michael from LOST or Scarlett Johansson thinks about politics.

BUT I SURE THINK this is beautiful.



Whatever you do: VOTE. And PS: NY is not a winner-takes-all primary.

That is all.

FROM YOUR COMMENTS

BRANDON, from your comments, shares this link, one of my favorite moments in television.

IN CASE YOU were fool enough to believe that words don't matter:



THAT IS ALL

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT LIVE

(I DID, but I'm glad to have seen it now.)



I REMEMBER once being asked for advice on parenting. Deciding to be sincere about it for once, I simply said: JUST WATCH MR. ROGERS. I could tell you what I think on the subject, or what I've learned from my own experience, but why bother?: EVERYTHING FRED ROGERS KNOWS AND SAYS ABOUT CHILDREN IS CORRECT, and I realize this astonishing fact again, every day.

SO I SAY: just watch.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

That is all.

SCRABBLE REPORT

BELATED CONGRATULATIONS to Elaine and Davin, who were extremely good company and beat Oliver and me...

UNFAIR AND SQUARE.

DAVIN TELLS THE TRUE STORY of how it all went down.

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN for contributing to the event. It was exceedingly fun. I wish it happened every weekend. And it raised MANY AMERICAN DOLLARS for the cause OF CHILDREN.

That is all.

Photo of triumph COURTESY: the website of THE SCHOOL LIBRARY JOURNAL (!), though I forget exactly who took it.

THIS BOILS IT DOWN FOR ME.

THIS ISSUE OF HONESTY AND INTEGRITY that is so compelling that it has literally chased every last laff off this page, alas.



That is all.

IN RESPONSE TO JESSE'S POST

I LOVE RANDY NEWMAN as much as the next guy.

BUT I ALSO LOVE this from frequent COULTON COHORT: "PAUL & STORM"

IF YOU GO TO THEIR WEBSITE, I also recommend"

"IF JAMES TAYLOR WERE ON FIRE"

"IF LEON REDBONE SUFFERED A MAJOR HEAD INJURY"

and

"IF JAMES TAYLOR WERE ON FIRE AT THE BOTTOM OF A WELL."

That is all.

NORTHAMPTON, MA (TECHNICALLY: HADLEY)

WHAT YOU HAVE HEARD is true.

I SHALL BE RETURNING to the land of Silent Cal this weekend to join

MANY ILLUSTRIOUS COLLEAGUES in a

BOOKISH DANCE PARTY, the details of which are HERE.



I DO THIS FOR MANY REASONS.

1. I cannot pass up a chance to appear with THURSTON MOORE
2. I am always looking for a chance to SHAKE KELLY LINK'S HAND
3. I always need more books, rubber stamps, bottle openers, Tintin paraphernalia, and gymnasium shelves.

THAT IS ALL

MLK

MLK

EVEN OBAMA KNOWS WHEN IT'S TIME TO DEPLOY A LAFF

WHEN WILL I LEARN?

“I said, ‘Well, I don’t handle paper that well. You know, my desk is a mess. I need somebody to help me file and stuff all the time.’ So the other two, they say, ‘Well, my biggest weakness is I’m just too passionate about helping poor people. I am just too impatient to bring about change in America.’ If I had gone last I would have known what the game was. I could have said, ‘Well, you know, I like to help old ladies across the street. Sometimes they don’t want to be helped. It’s terrible.’” - Barack Obama, Las Vegas

NOTE: the beautifully curved quotation marks.

CUT AND PASTE COURTESY: Paul Tough. His actual name.

That is all.

"INCHES OF LENGTH, SECONDS OF TIME": TWO APLOGIES

1. SO THAT WE MAY put this behind us, BOB JOHNSON has apologized to Obama (though well after H. Clinton claimed he had.)

2. HERE IS A BLOGGER who is admirably devoted to the difference between tick marks and quotation marks. To her, I say: I DID NOT KNOW ANY BETTER, and for that...

I am very sorry.

THAT IS ALL.

SORRY, MY MISTAKE: THAT LAST VIDEO WAS FUNNY

I DO APOLOGIZE. Here is one that is not funny.



IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!

That is all.

"YOU THINK I'VE GOT SOME KIND OF AROMA?"

LOOK, I use the internet probably EVERY DAY.

HOW IS IT that I managed to miss Chelsea Perretti flirting with goddamn JONATHAN WINTERS?



AND ALSO, purely out of envy: HOW THE HELL DID CHELSEA PERRETTI MANAGE TO DATE JONATHAN WINTERS so that she could make this movie?

IS IT BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL LADY and I am a barely passable lady?

IS THAT FAIR?

That is all.

HELLO, READERS OF VALLEYWAG

I WAS VERY FLATTERED indeed to be linked by an actual BLOG today.

(A RARE OCCURRENCE, and probably rightly so).

BUT TO BE VERY CLEAR: **I** am not giving a concert recital of

MANY BEAUTIFUL GUITAR SONGS

in San Francisco on Feb 22.

THAT WOULD BE COULTON.

Sorry if my earlier posting on this matter was unclear.

THAT IS ALL.

THIS INFORMATION MUST BE KNOWN

A MESSAGE from Coulton to you,

ONE WHICH I SUSPECT YOU HAVE ALREADY RECEIVED.

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT

My apologies if your geographical location makes this email
irrelevant, but THIS INFORMATION MUST BE KNOWN:

On February 22 I'll be doing a show at the Great American Music Hall
in San Francisco. I'll be accompanied by a crew of video production
people who will capture whatever magic happens there, and later,
re-assemble it on a DVD that hopefully the entire world will purchase.
With any luck, this will also lead to a proper live CD.

I'm telling you all this because it's important that the show be fun
and special and generally awesome. If you live in San Francisco, I
insist you come to this show. If you don't I hope you'll tell your San
Francisco friends about it so they come instead.

This will be fun! And expensive and terrifying (for me, not you)!

Buy your tickets here.

Will there be more shows? Yes, somewhere, sometime. Honestly I can't
think past the 22nd right now, and a lot of things are still coming
together. When stuff gets booked, I will spam you about it. I
promise.

See you in SF!

END QUOTED TEXT

That is all.

BLACK IS WHITE

APPARENTLY, Obama is the establishment candidate.

OH. NOW I FINALLY GET IT.

THE TRUTH IS Obama may be a beautiful orator with NO OTHER SKILLS, but it is clear that he is running an intensely negative campaign, despite every promise to "take the high road."

And you know, you have to ask yourself: why?

Why is this Sidney Poitier-like nice Black man SWIFT-BOATING the poor Clintons?

IS IT because he is terrified of losing his death grip on his decades old grip on the Democratic party after BILL AND HILLARY CLINTON'S INSPIRATIONAL WIN IN IOWA?

OR IS IT BECAUSE OBAMA IS JUST A HALF-BLACK, MAYBE-MUSLIM FORMER COKE DEALER?

LOOK: you can't rule it out.

That is all.

PS:

(MEANWHILE my good friend Paul is talking about some crazy notebook computer?)

(WHERE'S THE BEEF? I ask you? BLOGS are supposed to be deathly, stultifyingly serious.)

BACK TO SQUID SUITS SOON, I promise.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MLK: or.... A GUESS A SQUID SUIT IS NOT ENOUGH

GOOD MORNING

I REALLY TRIED TO TAKE Obama's advice and end the "silliness" with a SQUID SUIT.

BUT APPARENTLY I CANNOT HELP IT.

LAST NIGHT, as you may know, Obama attempted to retire this whole discussion.

(WHICH I WELCOME, honestly, as I have a book due on Monday.)

OBAMA as reported by Jeff Zeleny, NYT:

“I don’t want the campaign at this stage to degenerate into so much tit-for-tat, back-and-forth, that we lose sight of why all of us are doing this.... We’ve got too much at stake at this time in our history to be engaging in this kind of silliness. I expect that other campaigns feel the same way.”

(AND A QUESTION FOR JEFF ZELENY: how exactly did you determine, factually, that the purpose of Obama's statements was "...to be seen as taking the high road" as opposed to just, you know, TAKING THE HIGH ROAD?)

OBAMA ALSO ADDRESSED what RAB from the comments noted: most of this sniping, spinning, and attacking is coming from supporters, endorsers, enthusiasts, and volunteers. It is hard to control every statement that comes out of a campaign.

OBAMA, cont'd: “If I hear my own supporters engaging in talk that I think is ungenerous or misleading or in some way is unfair, I will speak out forcefully against it,” he said. “I hope the other campaigns take the same approach.”*

GOOD. And why shouldn't we hope for that? After all, didn't Mark Penn of the Clinton camp promise us that "those kind of negative personal remarks will not be a part of this campaign" after William Shaheen insinuated Obama might have been a drug dealer?

AND DIDN'T HILLARY CLINTON offer her own words of reconciliation soon after Obama made his remarks?

AT LAST, a new day: SQUID SUITS FOREVER.

BUT THEN: this morning.

BOB JOHNSON still does not think Obama is Black enough.

CHARLES RANGEL, whom I've always liked, suggests that perhaps Obama did drugs in high school in order to sell books.

GOOD MORNING!

THAT IS ALL.

*AND, ON THAT SAME DAY, when Obama learned of a volunteer in Nevada who was circulating pamphlets that SOME PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET found questionable, he immediately dismissed that person.

TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD: A SQUID COSTUME

Jonathan Coulton Paper Doll
Originally uploaded by jasonlnorman.

...FOR COULTON

That is all.

A SMALL CORRECTION

ACCORDING TO THE AP, Hillary Clinton was not yet on stage when Johnson made the remarks that ANGERED ME SO. She came on stage after him.

JUST 'FOR YOUR INFORMATION'

NOW I will try to sleep again and get back to laffs.

That is all.

FROM THE COMMENTS

FROM YOUR COMMENTS, "RAB" notes below...

"One thing that seems to afflict both Clinton and Obama right now is the way anything said by anyone connected with their campaigns -- or even alleged supporters unconnected to their campaigns -- is being laid at the feet of the candidates themselves."

I AGREE, but only to an extent.

IN THE INSTANCE of the BOB JOHNSON speech, which I find so objectionable, however:

a) Hillary Clinton was on stage with Johnson when he made his speech.
b) She did not and has not rebuked his speech.
c) The Clinton campaign itself issued Johnson's defense, that his reference to Obama "doing something in the neighborhood" that was so shameful that Johnson dare not speak it aloud was not AT ALL a reference to Obama's experimentation with drugs, but instead a reference to Obama's work as a community organizer.

I TRUST YOU WILL JOIN ME IN AGREEING THIS EXPLANATION IS UTTERLY IMPLAUSIBLE

and d) today, Bill Clinton again came to Johnson's defense, saying we must take Johnson at his word.

THERE IS NO QUESTION in my mind what Johnson was actually referring to. And in this case his candidate has not only tacitly endorsed his attack, but explicitly defended it.

Presumably they also defend Johnson's later attack, which has gotten less play, but which I find DOUBLY FOUL and very sad indeed...

JOHNSON: “That kind of campaign behavior does not resonate with me, for a guy who says, ‘I want to be a reasonable, likable, Sidney Poitier ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner.’ And I’m thinking, I’m thinking to myself, this ain’t a movie, Sidney. This is real life.”

THIS TECHNIQUE, suggesting that the Obama is not the RIGHT KIND of black person for the job, is unfortunately not new.

"You have to learn to be an African-American, and we don't have time to train you."--Then incumbent mayor of Sharpe James discussing his rival, Cory Booker, in 2002.

HOW DID their rivalry finally play out? If you don't know, I don't want to spoil the movie for you:



THAT IS ALL

MY CONCERN

MY CONCERN isn't that Hillary Clinton and her campaigners might sound like secret racists.

I AM CONFIDENT THEY ARE NOT.

MY CONCERN is that they sound like Karl Rove.

(And I am especially appalled at how quickly one of her supporters deployed the old, disgusting "NOT BLACK ENOUGH" meme--though sadly not surprised. If you saw the documentary STREET FIGHT about the Newark mayoral race--which followed how an older, powerful, entrenched Democratic mayor sabotaged the campaign of his charismatic, young challenger--you would have suspected, as I did, that it was just a matter of time.)

That is all.

MIRMAN IS STUCK IN THE SNOW

I SAW THIS LAST NIGHT at Sam Means's book party.

BUT NOW I get to see it on the internet.



IT'S BETTER EVERY TIME.

THAT IS ALL

28.7%

I CONFESS I am a little worried.

IF YOU VISIT OUR "Scrabble for Cheaters" page, you will see that John Oliver and I have reached only 28.7% of our fund raising goal of $5ooo.

WHICH IS TO SAY, right now we only have $1,435.00 worth of cheats.

WHICH IS TO SAY, it is likely that when we meet on Sat, Jan 19, to play Scrabble for the benefit 826NYC, we will be forced to play a game that 71.3% HONEST.

Which is to say: WE DON'T HAVE A CHANCE.

PLEASE DON'T MAKE US TAKE THE RISK OF WINNING FAIR AND SQUARE and donate now, if you can.

That is all

IMAGE OF NUDE SCRABBLISTS COURTESY: www.blacksbeach.org, of San Diego.

THERE WILL BE NO NUDITY AT THE 826 EVENT.

In fact, I am thinking about wearing gloves and a mask.

AS FAR AS LAST NIGHT'S DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY IS CONCERNED

I THINK THE UPSHOT IS: the jocks won.

That is all.

FROM THE COMMENTS: ADAM

FROM YOUR COMMENTS, "Adam" writes....

"...Ironic how nerds are now the writers and creators of popular culture. "

AS I AM A NERD, I will say that you are not using the term "irony" here exactly right, as indeed, I think a fair argument could be made that culture has always been CREATED by nerds, obsessives, geeks, and weirdos...

JUST LOOK AT BEETHOVEN.

HOWEVER, Silverman's comment confirms that culture is still largely PAID FOR AND DISTRIBUTED by a jockish clique who are in some ways defined by their nerd-hate.

THE GREAT CHANGE, and indeed the "irony" you seek, is that, BECAUSE OF "INTERNET," we are shifting from a distributor-controlled culture to a creator-controlled culture.

WHICH IS TO SAY:

A GREAT DEAL MORE of unrepentant geeky product is getting out there via "THE TUBES" with minimal distributor interference; GEEK AUDIENCES ARE forming powerful taste-making groups; and these two phenomena are leading SOME NETWORKS* to initiate authentically geeky products**, or at least IMITATIONS OF SAME***.

WHICH IS TO SAY: it sometimes looks like nerds are winning, slowly, by increments...

AND THAT, FRANKLY, is the exact opposite of what I ever expected to happen.

HOWEVER, it is comments like Silverman's that sometimes make me wonder if that is a FALSE HOPE, and that, in the end, the major networks would rather destroy themselves by ceding all geek audiences to cable rather than embrace one of the last few non-sports-oriented mass markets that exists.

TIME WILL TELL.

That is all.

*NBC?
**"Heroes?"
***"Heroes?"

JOCK V. NERD II

NOW, more than a year after the first*,

ANOTHER timely example of the defining cultural divide of our time: JOCK v. NERD

Ben Silverman, NBC Entertainment Co-Chair, on the canceling of the Golden Globes due to the WGA strike...

'"Sadly, it feels like the nerdiest, ugliest, meanest kids in the high school are trying to cancel the prom. But NBC wants to try to keep that prom alive."'

QUOTE COURTESY: Defamer.

(OF COURSE I read it)

LET US ONLY HOPE that NBC can finally save the rich kids from the ugly, ugly nerds.

That is all.


*Search under "Klosterman" or "nerd ascendancy" or "Lost."

FROM THE COMMENTS: BEAKER

FROM THE COMMENTS, Annje writes:

"All you need is a "Beaker" sidekick. Just thought I'd throw that out there. "

WHAT? COULTON is not Beakerish enough for you people?

That is all.

I AM QUITE SERIOUS: NO TATTOOS

TO CHANGE THE TONE OF THIS CONVERSATION, let me belatedly alert you to...

THIS GREAT INTERVIEW with the great STEPHEN FRY

TO BE FOUND over at Ken Plume's QUICK STOP, which is always worth a quick (or slow) STOP.

The show in question, QI, for "Quite Interesting" is indeed one of the most important television shows in history.

FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE WIRE, anyway.

(I LOOK FORWARD to your fiery e-mails on this subject. But before you attack me, may I ask: does The Wire have its own STUFFY PRIVATE CLUBHOUSE AND RESTAURANT? I think you know the answer.*)
(THE QI BUILDING, Oxford, "England")


ALAS, the program is not available here in the states, but it is available SOMEWHAT on the internet.

ENJOY IT, and enjoy the work of Ken Plume, who is TIRELESS.

That is all.

Jh

*"YES: But it is in Baltimore."

NOT EVEN MY GLASSES

FROM YOUR COMMENTS...

"ADMIN" writes from the comments....

"John - I agree, but you might consider getting your own face tattooed on your body somewhere. A gentleman named Steve-o has done this to hilarious effect."

JOHN HODGMAN replies...

FIRST of all, Admin, please address me as JOHN HODGMAN.

SECOND of all, I already have a tattoo of my face ON MY FACE. Or perhaps you missed it, as it is AN INCREDIBLE LIKENESS.

CHECK IT OUT:

That is all.

COURTESY: Mai Le and WIKIPEDIA for the photo of my face tattoo.

LISTEN: I MEAN IT

DO NOT TATTOO YOURSELVES WITH PICTURES OF MY FACE OR ANYONE'S FACE!

That is all.

HOBOES PUSHING INK

Literal Tramp Stamp
Originally uploaded by dregboy.

DREGBOY steps forward with a "Literal Tramp Stamp."

WHILE THIS LEAVES ME SPEECHLESS, and it obviously deserves recognition, as Dregboy has ruined his life,

I DO NOT ENCOURAGE YOU PEOPLE TO GET TATTOOS.

EVEN IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING GETTING A TATTOO OF MY ENTIRE BOOK, you should not do it, as I do not wish to answer to your parents, spouses, and physicians.

AT LEAST DREGBOY did not get a tattoo of my face.

That is all.

CHEEK VANDALISM

H in Sunrays
Originally uploaded by cbgbrocker22.

This poor woman.

That is all.

NOT TO BE SLAVISH

BUT I MUST GO with BoingBoing on this one:



That is all.

I WILL SOON BE DIALING-UP

I WILL SOON spend a week or so on the dial-up modem, so "posting" to this imitation blog may be EXTRA-SPORADIC for a bit.

PLEASE EVERYONE: have a safe and joyous end to this Gregorian calendar year.

AND THANK YOU ALWAYS: for your kind attention.

That is all for now.

THE GAUNTLET HAS BEEN THROWN DOWN

AND "GAUNTLET" is a bingo.

WON'T YOU PLEASE JOIN US on January 19th at 826NYC in Brooklyn for the upcoming

SCRABBLE FOR CHEATERS?

AT WHICH the renowned and goodhearted tutoring center/superhero supply company hosts a SCRABBLE COMPETITION featuring many teams, including one composed of:

1) ME
2) the foreigner, JOHN OLIVER

THE CHEATING PART can be explained thusly: in order to raise money for the 826NYC organization (A GOOD CAUSE), you people of the internet and beyond are asked to

BUY "CHEATS" for the team of your choice.

SUCH CHEATS include:

1. Trade out a letter—$25
2. Wheel of Fortune: buy a vowel—$50
3. Flip a letter over and make it blank—$100
4. Add 10 to any letter’s value—$150
5. Add Q, Z, or X to any word, anywhere—$200
6. Passport: play a word in any language—$250
7. Consult the dictionary for one turn—$300
8. Consult the Scrabble word list for one turn—$400
9. Reject another team’s word—$450
10. Invent a word (must have a definition)—$500

NOW, AS JACKIE MCLEOD AND KIERA KNOW, I am normally very strict about the rules of SCRABBLE.

HOWEVER I MAKE AN EXCEPTION IN THIS CASE and urge you to buy some cheats for Oliver so that he can spell words incorrectly like "HONOUR" and "COLOUR" and "GAOL" and "GIRAUFFE" and feel at home, at last.

OR ALTERNATELY, form or join your own team and START GUNNING FOR US.

SO WON'T YOU PLEASE help us cheat?

That is all.

>H<

>H
Originally uploaded by Jef Poskanzer.

GREETINGS JEF Poksanzer...

I AM ALWAYS grateful for photos to post here of...

DRIFTWOOD SCULPTURES
IMITATION DOGS
FISHING SCENES
ILLUMED Hs

AND THIS PHOTO meets all of those requirements.

THAT IS ALL.

A HOLIDAY/JURY DUTY MIRACLE

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO RECALL my Jury Duty sojourn of LAST JUNE,

YOU MAY BE INTERESTED TO KNOW that I recently received an e-mail from "WALTER," the irascible (seriously: HE WAS NOT RASCIBLE) jury pool clerk I admired so much then AND NOW:

(BEGIN quoted text)

"Hello and Thanks-

My girlfriend googled my name a while back and your .blog report on jury service came up and she read it and smiled and gave me a kiss-so thanks.

Hope your strike ends soon and you and your fellow workers come out on top or nearer to top than when you started.
take care,walter"

(END quoted text)

FROM WALTER'S ELECTRONIC MOUTH to the writers' and producers' ears.

THAT IS ALL.

I RECUSE MYSELF

I AM NOT ONE TO POST a lot of photos of myself.

BUT WHEN PEOPLE WORK SO HARD to make me look so judge-like, I have to acknowledge their hard work...

HERE ARE MORE interpretations of my painfully-occasional role as "Judge John Hodgman" for the wonderfully-weekly podcast "JORDAN, JESSE, GO!"*

LOOK, LISTEN, and you be the judge.

I TRUST YOUR SENTENCE WILL BE: "awesome."

That is all.


*Notice I added the Oxford Comma.

I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHO AM I?

THE FACT THAT Paul Reubens is considering bringing back the character of P-W Herman in a new movie is welcome news, for I trust you all agree:

PAUL REUBENS IS A NATIONAL TREASURE.

THAT SAID, the beautiful, mind-twisting fact that Pee Wee might be played by Johnny Depp only serves to prove once again:

I AM NOT MAKING UP FAKE FACTS FAST ENOUGH.

That is all.

"EMILY, YOU'RE FAMOUS TOO NOW..."

SORRY TO BE ABSENT, but I have blood and lymph draining from my ear!

(THEY TELL ME the blogs need to be personal, so there is your EAR INFECTION UPDATE of the day. I trust you're happy).

MEANWHILE, due to the intense pain and eardrum-bursting, I missed this, THOUGH I AM SURE YOU DID NOT:

COULTON vs. EMILY in ST. CHICAGO:



WHICH IS ODDER?

THIS, or Coulton being casually name-checked by NEIL GAIMAN?

OR OPTION "C": blood and lymph draining from my left ear?

VOTE NOW.

That is all.

‽

ALAN FROM THE COMMENTS provides an actual interrobang.

SWEET NITPICKING ALAN!

(with actual gratitude)

That is all.

INTERROBANG

DID ANYONE ELSE notice that Anne Helmond's photograph of the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co. from yesterday happens to include A MAN WITH AN EYE-PATCH?

!?

That is all.

AIGA AUCTION THIS SUNDAY, PLUS "POTTS"

SURELY SOME OF YOU HAVE WONDERED, who is the super-genius who designed not only the interior, but also the exterior, of your book, THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE?

WELL, YOU CAN UPDATE THAT WIKIPEDIA page, for the answer is:

The renowned graphic artist SAM POTTS.

MOST OF YOU know him from The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co., in the superhero supply district of Brooklyn, where Sam designed not only the awning but ALL of the original product labels, including BREATHABLE WATER and APPREHENDED BLOB.

SOME OF YOU may even recall Sam from his genial money-taking days at the front of the house at the old Little Gray Book lectures (which will not return this year, but maybe next).

I PERSONALLY recall him from Mr. Koestenbaum's Photo 1 class.

NOW HERE'S the new thing Sam has got me into:

THIS SUNDAY EVENING, at the big AIGA/NY dance party/annual ball, Sam and I will be auctioning off BEAUTIFUL ITEMS OF SIGNIFICANCE.

$20-35 (DEPENDING) gets you the CHANCE to bid on...

!: 2 REJECTED BOOK JACKETS BY CHIP KIDD!

!: A TOUR OF THE PHILIP JOHNSON GLASS HOUSE

!?: A MYSTERIOUS BOX OF MYSTERIES

...among other fascinating artifacts of functional design...

PLUS: the CERTAINTY of dancing and drinking wine in a beautiful room!

ALL PROCEEDS benefit the AIGA, which I am guessing stands for the American Institute of Graphic Artists*, a professional organization which I believe buys nutritious fonts for needy graphic designers**.

ALL DETAILS of the event may be found here.

Perhaps I will see you there?

That is all.

(IMAGE COURTESY: Anne Helmond)

(*I WAS RIGHT! Good symbolic information management in action!)

(**I WAS WRONG!)

MELLIE FROM ATLANTA ASKS...

MELLIE FROM ATLANTA WRITES TO ASK....

"I'm hosting a holiday party for a bunch of my alcoholic friends and I
would love to impress them by serving BRANDY SANGREES which I have
read about on your site and sound quite tasty. I cannot find a recipe for them via google and hope that you can provide this information, or did you make this up?"

WORRY NOT, "Mellie" and her alcoholic friends. The drink mentioned is very real, but unfortunately I wrote it wrong/drunk: it is spelled...

BRANDY SANGAREE

This is but ONE OF MANY "SANGAREES" (including gin and ale), and it dates back to the very first cocktail book of any note, the liquid bible of every fine mixologist, JERRY THOMAS' (sic) BARTENDER'S GUIDE.

MY FIRST GOOGLE turns up this supposedly faithful reprinting: a drink so simple as to be RUDIMENTARY...

(BEGIN quoted text)

BRANDY SANGAREE

(Use medium bar-glass.)
Take ½ teaspoonful of fine white sugar dissolved in a little water.
1 wine-glass of brandy.

Fill the glass one-third full of shaved ice, shake up well, strain into a small glass and dash a little Port wine on top. Serve with a little grated nutmeg.

(END quoted text).

BUT as this recipe comes from the INTERNET and is probably POISONED BY VIRUSES, why not to turn to the source, or the best version available thereof?...

DAVID WONDRICH'S wonderful annotation of the "The Thomas Manuscript," recently and beautifully published under the worthy imperative: IMBIBE!

SURELY THIS MAKES AS FINE A HOLIDAY GIFT as any of the Sangarees--brandy, gin, or ale?

AND SURELY IT MAKES A FINER GIFT than the Dalmatian Blood Sangaree, because WONDRICH is a national treasure and HIS BOOK IS NOT DISGUSTING.

If you have any other HOLIDAY GIFT OR ETIQUETTE questions, I encourage you to send them to me via electronic mail or via the comments.

SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY, PLEASE.

That is all.

THE COMIX EVENT "WRITE-AID" IS ON DECEMBER 11

JUST TO BE CLEAR

That is all.

BE OF GOOD CHEER

Hobo Chrismoose
Originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

HERE IS AN EXTREMELY SHINY wooden moose, courtesy Kodamakitty.

PLUS A HIDDEN MESSAGE.

MEANWHILE, if you live in or near NYC, please add this to your calendar. I cannot attend, alas, but it will be a GOOD SHOW for a WORTHY CAUSE.

(BEGIN quoted text)

WRITE-AID
A COMEDY BENEFIT FOR (STRIKING) WRITERS

ADVANCE TICKETS - $20
DAY OF SHOW TICKETS - $25

Jonesing for your favorite comedy shows? No worries -- Comix has teamed up with the Writers Guild of America, East and assembled an all-star lineup of scribes from your favorite (currently blacked-out) shows!

Join us as Andy Borowitz (CNN, National Public Radio, The New Yorker, creator of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"), Brian Kiley ("Late Night with Conan O'Brien"), Laurie Kilmartin ("The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson"), Bill Scheft ("Late Show with David Letterman"), Brian Stack ("Late Night with Conan O'Brien"), and others put down the picket signs and pick up the mike for a night of "anything goes" comedy.

Portion of proceeds go to WGAE Strike Fund. PLUS, discounted tickets for all WGA members! Simply present your WGA card at the Box Office to receive $5.00 off admission.

COMIX is located at 343 West 14th Street at 9th Avenue.

(END quoted text)

THAT IS ALL.